a long post breakup trauma

[unemess]

this is my first post and i'm new for the group and the site. please let me know if there any any criteria prior to the posts.

I began liking a girl 3-4 years back. it was not a relation actually, i just liked her. Anyways, we had a continued communication and one day i proposed. i was rejected(seriously). then for a year we were not in touch. i moved to another town. one day suddenly i ran into her.And we were GOOD friends for quite a time. She had a boyfriend, who didnt much care for her. From where i come sex is a taboo they were doing it. Plus she had had sex with another guy while she was in her relationship. One night she confessed me over the phone. I was totally freaked out. yet we continued to stay in touch(and that was like a regular addiction). Then i began to realize i was falling for her again. I was feeling like a complete fool. Yet I said it and she said she was not sure. The other day, she told me that she felt the same.  I dont know how it is possible(she still had her boyfriend). We were actually going out on a date, and the obsession grew. I dont know how i was fine with it. it was good(at least i thought) for both of us to be apart. so i made the lamest excuse of my life and ran away. I dont know, i felt i had to.
Then i was quite fine for months,stayed too busy. but after that it became worse. just not able to get off my mind. esppecially at night, its so worse. its been a year and a half and i'm still not able to cope with it. Cannot even get in a relation this way. it just feels like i left somthing incomplete(i dont know what). please help :(

[innerchild09]

Im actually members of chatrooms myself so I understand what you mean. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone and hear right away. Still I know we usually keep the support going here. Well havent for awhile because I was away but there were still supporting but we tend to keep posts going for supporting. Sometimes only a few people chat but its for support.

Anyway I hope that you are doing better now.

[unemess]

Sometimes its really good to have someone listening to  you right at the moment, and the person has to be anonymous or at someone as if who only exists at that time. for me, it was so desperate that i roamed around in chat rooms,,, i hope there is some solution to that

[unemess]

Thanks for making me feel welcome. And thanks for listening. Sometimes its really good to know that someone is there to hear you out.

[amylove21]

I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel crazy. I think maybe talking to a doctor and a therapist might help.

Oh and welcome as well.

[innerchild09]

Your welcome. I dont mind. Sometimes just talking about things help. I know I have talked a lot on stuff in this place. I dont think its crazy. Maybe trying to convince yourself that you were being used is the way you coped because things didnt work out with her or something. I know sometimes I think the things I say sound totally out there. So I understand. Anyway I do hope you can get some help so you dont have to always feel this way. Feel free to talk or vent or something anytime. I dont mind.

[unemess]

Thanks for listening, maybe thats exactly what i wanted. I'm not even sure how anyone can help me with this.
Yeah i know, its one hell of a long time. but just not able to help myself. I haven't talked to any therapist yet. I've just been trying to keep up with my day-to-day life. It's quite fine when my mind is not idle. I'm just trying to make myself believe that i was being used(sounds crazy to me too).
anyways thanks for listening.

[innerchild09]

Welcome to this site and this group. First of all.

Im sorry that you are going through that. It sounds really difficult. Im not to good with relationship advise and stuff. So I just at least wanted you to know that I am listening. Hopefully someone else who might know something that might be able to help you. I dont think these feelings are good. It seems to me like a bit of obsessing but I am not sure. Have you tried to talk to a counciler or theoripist about these constant thoughts about all this. I mean a year and a half is a pretty long time to have thoughts going around in your head about this.