Daymares?

[Just AnotherMom]

My 15 yr old daughter has been living with her father in another state for 2 yrs. I am unable to see how she behaves or reacts for myself, but there seems to be a very disturbing problem developing. She has told me by phone that she is having what I call daymares, for lack of a better term. She is having nightmares about people chasing her, trying to kill her. Except that she is awake. It apparently can happen at any time, even during school. I suspect that her reports are exagerated somewhat, but how much she exagerates things usually corresponds with how much the problem is bothering her. She has never been a child to just make stories up, there is always some truth behind it, whether it's an emotional or physical problem. She has also told me that she thinks she may have a problem with depression and may need help, but her parents there dismiss it(her father believes depression is just feeling down and you just have to "get over it"). She has also confided in me that she can't discuss her feelings with them, because of thier attitude and doesn't feel she can trust anyone there. I'm no psychologist, but I suspect the dreams of people chasing/trying to kill her are directly related to feeling unsecure and not being able to trust anyone. I am working on bringing her back home, but unwilling to do so this close to the end of the school year, unless in an emergency. I have never heard of having nightmares while daydreaming and can find no information by research. This whole situation has me terribly worried.

[Avanka]

My 5 year old has daymares of monsters and is petrified. She can't be left alone in a room by herself. Today she was telling me that she saw the green monster standing a few feet away from her. How can I help her ?

[helpme451]

A related discussion, I'm having problems... was started.

[Moneyban5]

i suffer from daymares and i don't like them what can i do to stop or at least hinder them from affecting my day to day life?

[Chaser]

I hope you read this post. I almost didn't want to write anything but then I came to where you said you had always raised her and it was her idea to go live with her father. It sounds like your talking about me except I never had daymares (pleanty of other things but no daymares).
My problems arose because I wanted to live with my dad but couldn't stand to not live with my mom. I didn't know this myself at the time, but I do now. When my got me back she rushed me to several doctors. My mom and dad have always done what they thought was best for me, but in this case it left a lasting impression I still feel today. Though all the doctors said I was fine, I became convinced because of the doctors and the nervous way my family looked at me and treated me, that there was something seriously wronge with me.
Welcom you daughter home and observe her before rushing her to therapy. I'm sure there is no one who can spot something amiss or sort out what she is thinking and why faster or accuratly then you. Being that she is 15 it will be more difficult to spot odd behavior (15 is an odd age), but she also maybe able to self diagnose and determin if her daymares are something that need therapyu.
Sorry again for rambling but your daughter sounds like me.

[justme]

I'm assuming you'll take her to a pediatrician when she arrives.  Although you're concerned about depression, don't overlook other physical problems - including sleep disorders.  There are a number of conditions or obstacles that can make daily living a struggle and mimic depression.  Good for you for being there for her, I'm sure with some help and support she'll be fine.

[nurse12hr]

Is there any way at all you can talk to her father?  I am gathering this is not an amicable situation.  

I agree wholeheartedly with the doc.  There needs to be professional intervention here.  But if you contact the school without letting the father know, I see a big conflict starting.  

Just let him know that you are concerned, that your daughter has TWO parents who love her, and let him know that she may be more troubled than either one of you knows.  You are both in this for her, after all.

[Just AnotherMom]

I greatly appreciate the responses. Under the circumstances, there isn't much I can do at the moment though. She will be flying back in June for the summer break and that will be the first chance I can get her help. Until this, the situation was friendly. I have always raised her and have legal custody, but she decided that she wanted to spend time with him also. Trying not to be selfish, I allowed it, as long as she was happy, healthy and well cared for there. I can discuss most things with him, but this is not one of them. Depression runs in my side of the family, every generation. He refused to understand or accept it even with me, she would be no different. If I try to intervene through a school or Dr there, he will refuse it and make her even more miserable. The best I can do is help her when she gets here and see about keeping her here after that. I don't believe that she is in such immediate danger that a 2 month delay would be disaster, but I intend to talk to her frequently to listen for changes. I pray that I am not wrong.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Such intrusive thoughts or visualizations can be due to a number of conditions, and all suggest the need for professional intervention. Whatever you can do to obtain help for your daughter will be important. Perhaps there is someone in the family, or a friend, who can appeal to your daughter's father and persuade him of the need/benefit of seeking help. One option is to contact someone in guidance or student services at her school, explain your situation, and ask for some help.