Nine year old girl with no friends

[LauraEw]

My daughter, who is about to turn nine, has no friends. She's highly gifted academically, underchallenged in school, and cannot seem to relate to other girls her age. I get her involved in various activities and camps, such as horse riding, twirling, and Girl Scouts, but am told that the other girls "are really mean to her." My daughter is overweight, highly verbal, and somewhat young for her age. She's starting to try to avoid school because the other kids laugh at her. I just don't know what to do for her, and it breaks my heart to see her without friends and lonely.

[Dekomp]

A related discussion, Child has no friends was started.

[al 9]

i AM CONCERNED ABOUT MY DAUGHTER WHO TELLS ME NO ONE WILL PLAY WITH HER AT SCHOOL IF SHE TRIES TO JOIN IN THE KIDS JUST IGNORE HER.  SHE ASKED ME IF SHE COULD CHANGE SCHOOLS TELL ME SHOULD I LET HER CHANGE SCHOOLS TO SEE IF THINGS IMPROVE.

[always sad]

Kids are so cruel.  I thought it was bad 17 years ago.  It is hard to find, but your daughter will find a few special friends.  The easiest way, in my opinion, would be to be social yourself with other parents from the school and observe their children.  My niece is friends with everyone.  She has a large heart.  Whether someone is fat, skinny, short, tall, etc. she never judges for physical appearance.  She is a remarkable little girl.  My sister is very active with the church, and volunteers in the kid's classrooms, etc...and basically branches out very far socially...and the kids have found many friends.  My nephew in fact has autism, and my sister's involvement with other parents has found him some special, patient friends.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It may be time to seek a professional intervention, and I'd recommend a social problem-solving or social skills group. Sometimes you can find such things at the school. Another option is to check with your local child mental health or child guidance clinics, or call the number on the back of your insurance card re: mental health treatment and see if they can guide you. Also, check with your child's pediatrician for some advice re: possible resources in your area. You might also consider addressing her weight; she may need an ongoing weight reduction/nutrition/exercise program for this.

[Liza55]

It may be very important for tons of reasons to switch her to a school or grade that addresses her academic level appropriately. Perhaps a smaller school, letting the teachers know up front your concerns with her being a little socially akward now. And actually being overweight can stir up such cruelty with the other kids- such an easy target. But you should be educating your daughter on proper nutrition, getting physical exercise (go with her for walks!) and not keep junk food in the house. I was quite shy as a child and found all the camps (my dad loved tennis camp, I didn't)stressful. Good luck