hey ladies... this week has been so hard on me. monday morning i woke up and found myself bleeding a lot. i tried to call my dr's office, but they were on lunch. i didn't panic but it scared me. while i was waiting for it to turn 1 pm, i got another phone call from an old friend. she told me that my ex bf had just committed suicide. i didn't believe it so i got my mom to drive me by his house and it was all taped off with ambulance and police everywhere. he had shot himself in the head but lived for about 3 hours afterwards. i finally got ahold of the dr at about 1 and they told me to just come in. my dr's office is right next to our emergency room so after the dr, i walked over to see what happened and they told me he had passed away. the funeral was thursday. i was dressed and ready to go.. but i couldn't go. it was breaking my heart and i felt horrible. i couldn't watch them put him in the ground. it rained that day too. just enough to get the ground wet. it's been such a hard week. i also went to the dr again on thursday and they told me i was dialated to 1 cm. i was happy my baby was okay but my bp was so high and i was shaking from all the anxiety and stress. i believe he was a wonderful person and that him and God will figure things out. i'm sure he's in a better place. i'll always miss him and care for him. please keep me and my baby in your prayers. it's been a hard week. god bless!