My daughters issues

[apeach500]

Hi there

Just a question about my 4 and a half year old daughter. She gets extremelty emotional over the slightest things for example not giving her the right coloured cup or plate. We probably have around 7 tantrums a day. She also has issues with texture of clothes and certain noises are too loud. I have been told she is very intelligent from a quite a few people and she asks constant questions about all sorts of isues. She knows all her alphabet, counts up to 100, knows shapes, everything. They have just started a "schoolies"  program where they say she has trouble when they give her three things to do in a row eg. pick a number, draw it then colour it in. By the time she gets to start the third task she has forgotten what was asked of her. Everyone has said she is a different kind of child. Just wondering what your thoughts are. She is also very mechanically minded and needs to know how everything works. She has been this way since around the age of 2.

[hell1971]

Hi

I have just posted a question hell1971, we had simular problems with our daughter at that age and without knowing any more all I can say is that we found that normalising some of the behaviours made a happier home. ie my daughter will not use the same utensil if its dirty, will not eat if her food touches etc..socks are funny. We used to battle these out and these issues would cause major meltdowns, because we have so many other issues with our daughter we decided to priorities what was important. If she wants a new folk we give it to her, no question, if she wants a particular type of cup she gets it. This is not panderring to her but it really isnt important how many folks she uses whats important is that she eats her meal, same with clothes, it doesnt matter what clothes she wears its important that she gets dressed and goes to school. You have to decide whats important and pick your fights, but you must decide in advance, you cant say no you cant have that cup and then because it becomes too hard give in, you have to take out the battle, is it important what cup she wants no so right from the start you say ok, giving her control. After that you need to check out the reasons for the particular behaviours and take advise from the proffessionals, she may just have some sensory issues and as she matures she will learn to manage them or there may be the need for some intervention, whatever you do dont ignor it, manage it. Good luck

[Rachna Varia, PhD]

Your daughter sounds quite intelligent, and yes, she may be a "different kind of child."  These are the differential diagnoses that you need to explore through a psychological evaluation:  Sensory Integration Processing Disorder (hypersensitivity to texture and noise); Asperger's Syndrome (extreme interest in certain areas and excelling beyond her years in academic areas); Attention Deficit Disorder (forgetting the third part of an instruction); or a sensitive child who does not meet any formal diagnosis and "may grow out" of some problem areas but those around her may require parent and teacher training skills to help promote her development and happiness given that she is not typical. - Dr. Varia