compulsive stealing/lying

[chad690]

Our son is now 22 and lives overseas. As a child and young adult he had been diagnosed with ADD and was placed on ritalin. He also began weekly therapy sessions which continued through age 18. In the past year, he has stolen from people close to him (family, friends etc) as well as from us. He lies habitually. He has decided not to continue his undergraduate studies and has not worked. His hygiene we have been told has deteriorated. He simply goes from place to place, mooching off of others. When confronted with stealing/lying, he typically will admit wrongdoing. We have another child who is a successful professional. Both were treated similarly as they were growing up. Is there any hope? suggested treatment? It appears he exhibits no affect or conscience unless he is caught...Please help us.

[Sandman2]

It would be helpful to know how his ADHD has been treated so we are not reinventing the wheel.    For example has he had behavioral therapy, medication, etc.
   Also, is it. More then just food now?  What kinds of things?  Were his Sat. Jobs working for your parents?

[kchez]

I completely agree with your comment. My brother is now 16 and he has been stealing since he was about 8. He would steal sweets, food and drinks all the time, even after eating, and then hide the wrappers in his bedroom. It has now got worse; he has been given 3 Saturday jobs now and has stolen from all 3. Both my brother and I were raised then same and I have turned out fine. He will always lie even when caught on CCTV red handed he claims he didn't do it. Lying and stealing are 2 very common traits of ADHD and my parents are now lost as to what to do. He has had every punishment under the sun but nothing seems to work. If anyone has any ideas please help. ONLY CONSTRUCTIVE IDEAS FROM PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT!! People who do not have ADHD children or siblings do not understand. I am close to reporting him to the police to hopefully get him back on track. He has ADHD he is not psychotic or anything.

[Successful_dude]

Those are not common traits of people with adhd, that's false and a blanket statement as someone with how dare you let your personal experience with one individual cloud your judgement, I have adhd and know many people with it none of them are thieves or liars, I strongly suggest you educate yourself and find a different label for your kleptomaniac sibling.

[Nomorefilter]

Ditto this comment, annasmommy.  The LAST thing we parents need is someone who doesn't know what the heck she's talking about creating a post that digs even deeper into our questions about the children we love beyond belief.  Even when they mess up--sometimes daily and hourly.  So, those of us who are intelligent, educated, up-to-date with KNOWLEDGE of our children's disorders will continue to empathize, educate, and support.  Must be nice to be able to sit up on that "pedestal" and put forth ideas that only tear down the psyche of others.  But that's not us. We'll continue to do the right thing, regardless of how hard it is. Take care.

[Nomorefilter]

Actually, you have no idea what you are talking about in relation to ADHD.  You need to do the SCIENTIFIC research before you start throwing terms like "sociopathic" behavior out to a parent who is trying her best to parent an ADHDer.  I assume, by your sanctimonious tone, that you do NOT have a child with ADHD nor do you have it yourself. This is NOT a constructive comment.  More importantly, it is not accurate.

[Nomorefilter]

Actually, you have no idea what you are talking about in relation to ADHD.  You need to do the SCIENTIFIC research before you start throwing terms like "sociopathic" behavior out to a parent who is trying her best to parent an ADHDer.  I assume, by your sanctimonious tone, that you do NOT have a child with ADHD nor do you have it yourself. This is NOT a constructive comment.  More importantly, it is not accurate.

[DrSurf]

Hi Patti,

Its really soul destroying when your own child is stealing and lying. I am law enforcement agent and my partner's son has ADHD. He is in his teens and goes to a prestigious private school. His behaviour socially is getting worst in public, he is covertly destructive towards other peoples property. He will on purpose wreck the item or steal it.
Over a year now, I have noticed a number of occasions where money has gone missing from my wallet whenever I have stayed over at my partner's house. I caught him a month ago rifling through my bag, he said he was just mucking around. His mum is a successful professional and he has been stealing from her too. But unfortunately she is in self denial that her son is the culprit.
I am in a difficult position now, I have around $500 stolen and being around him agitates me. A close friend of his has told me that he is also shoplifting from a shopping mall after school.
The way he is progressing, adult life will be filled with illicit drugs and time behind bars.