compulsive stealing/lying

[chad690]

Our son is now 22 and lives overseas. As a child and young adult he had been diagnosed with ADD and was placed on ritalin. He also began weekly therapy sessions which continued through age 18. In the past year, he has stolen from people close to him (family, friends etc) as well as from us. He lies habitually. He has decided not to continue his undergraduate studies and has not worked. His hygiene we have been told has deteriorated. He simply goes from place to place, mooching off of others. When confronted with stealing/lying, he typically will admit wrongdoing. We have another child who is a successful professional. Both were treated similarly as they were growing up. Is there any hope? suggested treatment? It appears he exhibits no affect or conscience unless he is caught...Please help us.

[mycalbaby]

Thank you for setting the record straight lying, stealing complusivness are definitely part of ADHD.  My heart goes out to all I am seeing this iwth my 26 yr old nephew, his Mom passed in Sept 2011, and she knew a lot about ADHD. He too has no medical and I need to try and get him in the right direction.  He is smart, artistically talented.  I wish you all well and success in finding treatment.  to allymymarbles, LRM1021. netcindy

[emptynest222]

Has in-patient hospitalization (mental health) helped any of these cases?

[netcindy]

I am in the exact same boat as you. My son has been lying and stealing since he was a teenager. He is now 26 years old. We just found out he again stole checks from us and spent about a 1,000 dollars. He has stolen from his grandma and I have jewelry that I don't even know how long it has been missing. I go to get a piece of jewelry and it is know where to be found. This has been going on for years. I now lock up all my jewelry and extra checks in a safe. But sadly he still has the problems and now has a 2 year old son. We are desperate to find help for him. If you hear of anything please let me know. Best wishes for you it is a terrible thing to go through.

[nid54]

MY 15 year old son was diagnosed early on with ADHD and he has been stealing for a long time. I suspect he is also FAE he is adopted. His moods , lying and stealing intersetingly almost always form me. I am so tired of it. He always does the hurt why are you picking on me or I should just die card when confronted with it. He has been to counselling is in an adapted program at school, he has few friends I suspect he steals form them though none have said so, he has very poor social skills. And yet that said I love him dearly and has can be the most helpful and kind child. It makes me so depressed and sad and angry all at the same time. I work hard and I cannot afford to loose the money he is taking. I have gotten to the point were I cannot take my purse home. I just am at my wits end.

[Sandman2]

   Oh man, talk about double trouble - I feel for you and your family.
Under the new Obama care laws - kids can be under the parents insurance till they are 26.  But given your financial problems, this may not be an open choice?
   Sounds like he started self medicating in high school and probably is still doing it.  Unfortunately, thats kind of common for kids with untreated AD/HD.
   Since I don't really know how the welfare laws work where you live - my only suggestion is that it is about time to have a heart to heart talk with him.  Its time for him to face some reality.   The stuff gets returned  or he starts on a payment plan for replacement.  If he won't do that - he probably needs to be out in the world on his own for awhile.   Unless there is some kind of a dramatic change - things will only get worse.  
   This is a really difficult situation.  I would try and find some counseling for you and your husband to help you through this.  I wish I could help more.   Good Luck!

[ljm61]

I don't know where to begin,.My 24 year old son has been stealing from his father and I since he was young teenager.  He has add never officially tested but he was in a IEP classes his whole life.  The doctor put him on some adderal medicine in high school but it only made him speedy.  Then we found out he was selling it.  He was also smoking pot in high school and we tried to help but nothing seemed to work.  He was arrested in high school for stealing with a friend car stereos.  He claimed he was an innocent by stander and we believed him.  I feel like I turned a blinds eye to a lot becase I wanted to believe he was good.  Looking back we should of helped him more back than,  Well now we have lost our business and our familu home and we are living with my sister and her husband.  My son comes home here late at night to sleep only. I just found out he has stolen my husbands wedding ring my brother in=laws wedding ring and college classes ring.  They are missing 2.000 dollars!  My grandmothers ring is also missing.  I am just sick to think he is that desperate to steal from his own family.  I love him so much he is a good person but he is very secretive/  He needs help I don't know where to turn.  He has no health insurance does anyone have any suggestions please!!!

desperate mother