Aa
Do I continue relationship
My girlfriend introduced me to her step father and suggested we date. She said he is a very nice guy and that she thought we would be good together.
After almost three months when she was drunk she admitted to me he molested her when she was 14. I confronted him and after awhile was able to convince him to tell me the "truth". He said that when she would come home after being drunk and passed out on the couch he would take her clothes off and have his way with her. Yes, he penitrated her and this went on for years off and on.
since then he is a changed man. This happened almost 20 years ago.
This is bothering me and I told my friend and she is now finally getting the help she needs. However, I am in turmoil because I truly loved this man and now I am freaked. How do I forget, I am able to forgive....and what does a girl do?
After almost three months when she was drunk she admitted to me he molested her when she was 14. I confronted him and after awhile was able to convince him to tell me the "truth". He said that when she would come home after being drunk and passed out on the couch he would take her clothes off and have his way with her. Yes, he penitrated her and this went on for years off and on.
since then he is a changed man. This happened almost 20 years ago.
This is bothering me and I told my friend and she is now finally getting the help she needs. However, I am in turmoil because I truly loved this man and now I am freaked. How do I forget, I am able to forgive....and what does a girl do?
I have taken my time to read your post well, I am sorry you can love a man who has abused his daughter who was only 14, why did he allow her to drink till she passed out? Sure because it was easier for his actions.
Most of us are moms, this is the reason why we can not find sympathy in our hearts for this man, as some one else said how do you know he is still not abusing kids? This is a dangerous situation for you because you never know what he has in mind and what your future will be and if any children are born to the both of you what then?
Sex offenders never change reason why they are listed for life, Google "sex offenders forum" it is sickening to read but necessary in your special case. I hope you will give it further thought and get out of this man's life for your own good.
Take care.
Most of us are moms, this is the reason why we can not find sympathy in our hearts for this man, as some one else said how do you know he is still not abusing kids? This is a dangerous situation for you because you never know what he has in mind and what your future will be and if any children are born to the both of you what then?
Sex offenders never change reason why they are listed for life, Google "sex offenders forum" it is sickening to read but necessary in your special case. I hope you will give it further thought and get out of this man's life for your own good.
Take care.
he should be turned in and made to pay for his crimes, it is a terrible thing he did and if he did it once he did it to others and may still be doing it jo
I wouldn't ...how could you ever trust that this man is still not molesting little girls or would if he had a chance, or has he molested others?? No, I think I would cut my losses; you don't need a relationship with a man that has these problems...nope, get out of that relationship pronto.
They're both weird, and not to be trusted.
I can't imagine fixing up a friend with a man who I know is an abuser.
I can't imagine fixing up a friend with a man who I know is an abuser.
One last thing------- the reason that those who committ such crimes are put on the sex offender registry is that because we know that even after intensive therapy these criminals are required to do, they are still are a huge risk to society for repeating their offenses. The lack of character and regard for the welfare of others to do such things as this man did is very deep and statistics say is rarely fully overcome. End the relationship, do not look back. Why be with a man that has done such autrocities willingly? You can do better, I promise.
I think your question is whether you should still have a relationship with this man after learning of this information. In a word--------- NO. He had sex with his own daughter when she was still a child (and why was a 14 year old allowed to get drunk . . . oh that is right, so she could be her dad's sex puppet). This man has an inner core that no amount of change would make right again. While he may not molest again (how much access does he now have to drunk 14 year old girls that trust him?) . . . he did. That would be enough for me to say no thank you. You can do better. good luck
(ps: has your girlfriend ever gone through therapy for the deep down hurt this has caused her? No one comes out of a situation like that without deep wounds. Sometimes they are buried so deep that we don't know they are there. But they are unless you address it. I also wouldn't want any grandkids to be alone with him.)
(ps: has your girlfriend ever gone through therapy for the deep down hurt this has caused her? No one comes out of a situation like that without deep wounds. Sometimes they are buried so deep that we don't know they are there. But they are unless you address it. I also wouldn't want any grandkids to be alone with him.)
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