Am i abused ?

[jackson124]

I am 25 yrs male.I want to share my story.i want to know the truth please help me.In short am saying.i had a friend who is girl.we were close.she behaved more than a friend.i told her not to be close.one day we had a forplay.next week she said she was pregnant.i was shocked but believed.she said she abortioned without me.later i was forced into love her because her sister told me i am responsible for pregnancy.i said ok in guilt.later i tried to breakup due to mismatch of thinking.when ever i go away i would get a call or message from her sister tht my gf got brain stroke,suicide atempt,running from home,live or death problem etc.,which i would consider real but i didnt believe.i always went back bileving its true,but when i go back everything was just back to normal.shes perfectly healthy.later i could not tolerate these games.i became completley angry and became abusive.i never met her sister though.but a imaginary name on call or mesage.how ever her sisters voice is similar to my gf which i bileved as a diffrent person.Now after a strong fight i was framed as a abusive person infront of all my common friends i was warned by their family not to disturb her.i was devastated with this.i lost my life for 3 years .i was good i never left when she was said ill or financially down.So who abused whom ? What is this all about ? Did she love me at all or just want to play games for fun? I never ran for any women.i am top of class and top of my office.I always was a straight forward and honest person.please give me whats her mind set is??

[breezytoo]

Your post ended up as an answer to someone elses problem. You need to start your own page by asking your Q. in the appropriate forum. Say Family Relations or Family? You will know it when you see it.

[MJoy20]

I was married to an abusive, alcoholic.  Divorced after 30 yrs of marriage.  Have 2 sons, Tom,age 16 and Jerry,20.  Their dad physically and emotionally abused Jerry and emotionally abused Tom. Divorced for 4 years.  I met a wonderful, kind, loving and respectful man, 2 years ago,Jack.
Over these past 2 years my sister has ignored me and Jack at family gatherings, verbally told me I would have to choose between Jack and my family. She could never tell me why she doesn't like Jack, except sh doesn't like his personality.  Jack is just a regular, calm and happy man. I thought she was kidding, she wasn't.
She and my son Jerry are close, she is his mom now and I am treated with abusive put downs, he ignores and belittles me.  I don't have Jack over because of my sons abusive behavior.  I have asked Jerry many times why he doesn't like Jack and he doesn't know.  My sister is a bully and has convinced my son that I am being selfish, neglectful, etc.  Jerry and I barely talk, we used to be so close, this is killing me.
Jack and my other son have established a relationship as Tom has tried to have a relationship with his dad but his dad is still abusive and drinks.Jerry has decided to distance himself from me and Jack and Tom.  At first Jerry liked Jack but after talking to my sister, he started not liking Jack.
My sister created a whole to do about nothing and now my family , nieces and nephews no longer talk to me. I'm not invited for Xmas, etc.
I am selling my house in June, after Tom graduates HS. Tom and I are moving in with Jack. Jerry would never move in with us because he hates Jack, still don't know why, and I don't want him living with us because of his abusive attitude.  
I know part of the problem is I always gave in to Jerry, did what he wanted, stayed in  this house, even though I can't afford it so he can be with his friends. I was trying to make up for the abuse he received from his dad. I am preparing for the fact that when I move I know Jerry won't be in my life anymore.  He doesn't answer my texts, we barely talk for 5 minutes because I know everything I say he tells my sister.  He is on my phone plan so I see he talks to my sister everyday. Jerry and my sister are furious with me because I didn't break up with Jack as they told me too.  I am actually happy, my depression has lifted and I am looking forward to a happy and peaceful life.  But there is my son and the pain that he won't be part of my life for the coming future.
When all of this to do about nothing went down, I reminded my son that my dad had depression and committed suicide and all of this pressure and threats from him and my sister were putting on me was getting overwhelming.  Nothing happened, they didn't care.  I was shocked but now I realize that they aren't my family as they don't care about my health or happiness.
How do I cope with the impending future without my oldest son? I don't see how things will change as my son talks and listens to everything my sister says.
Any ideas are appreciated.  I don't know what to do.  We don't talk about it because there is just no talking, just the same thing from months ago that my son doesn't like Jack, still no reason why.  It is like the 800lb gorilla in the room.
Help

[jackson124]

I will talk to counselor very soon.Thank you so much for he guidance.It really helped me a lot to cope with the situation.The more i think of the past, the more i am going waste .I realised this.I am using my time more on many other important things :-)

[AnnieBrooke]

It is true that it will save a lot of your time.  Think of it this way, every moment you spend brooding or wondering about her, is a loss to you of the most precious resources you have, your time and peace of mind.)  The bad thing already happened to you.  Don't throw your precious resources after it further.  You can't change the past, but you can save yourself the drain of time and energy now, and your present-day time and energy are valuable.  Talk to a counselor, I was really amazed when I spoke to a grief counselor a few times a few years ago, how much it helped.

[jackson124]

Yes, I faced the same situation.But eventually i got out of not trusting other women.Maybe she also have the same characteristic of not admitting her faults.These kind of people waste their time and ours.My case and his case reminds me of ''To Kill a Mockingbird '' novel. I will seek counseling very very soon.I will avoid thinking of reasons why it was happened,which saves a lot of my time i suppose.I am very thankful for your support and suggestions .Thank you so much. i will bounce back very very soon .

[AnnieBrooke]

I read a quite moving story in an English paper about a guy who was accused of rape when he was young, and what it has done to his head and his opinion of women and his ability to trust women in relationships later.  You didn't have the trauma of being arrested, but it was a similar feeling.  To this day he does not know why the girl accused him of rape, he thinks she did it because she didn't want to admit that the sex was her idea.  (They were very young, legally underage by a long way.)  Anyway, your story is similar in that you were left existentially shocked by what occurred.  Please do seek counseling, it can be very, very cathartic just to tell your story to a neutral third party.  It might only take a couple of sessions, but a professional would be able to help you sort out (at the emotional level, I know you are already reasoning it out at an intellectual level) the confusion and shock of having to deal with someone who is erratic and kind of crazy.  Good luck to you.

[jackson124]

Its been 1 year .I always wondered why all this mess happened,but i am out of it for about 80 %.I will soon get out of it completely and ignore her existence.Thank you so much for the reply.