naive. [confused]

[plur26]

he's been my friend for awhile. we've had this weird thing. I've liked him, and it's come in waves he's liked me.maybe. he's flirted, I guess.

he's nineteen.
I'm a stupid, stupid fifteen year old.
he started kissing me, he started feeling me up. I was really, really scared for some reason. Just something about it scared me. I hated it. I hated being there. I hated him in a flash. He became evil in my eyes and I felt like, mentally, I was falling apart. It was so sudden.
one second, he was just a friend, the second, he was touching me like this?
I can't look at him..think of him the same.
I feel hurt even though, I wasn't..
was I?
when It crosses my mind, I freeze up. I feel really sick and overwhelmed.
even the shirt I had worn, I hid it that day, and when I came across it reccently, I hid it again. today, I forced myself to wear it--get it over with. I didn't understand myself at all.
I've felt extremely uncomfortable all day.
..
please help..

[AnnaE]

I am so sorry that you are confused and hurt. Did you feel that he did not value you, and that he was taking advantage of you?

You are younger, and you were not prepared for a sexual relationship? If this is what is going on, I think you are right. Take care of yourself. Throw the shirt away, if you want. Take a bubble bath and read or talk to a friend or whatever. Write back to talk more, or for support.

If you feel I misunderstood, let us know, so that you can get what you need. You centainly deserve that and you are not stupid. Be careful with yourself.

[margypops]

These feelings are very normal, you probably felt uneasy after at it happening but you will feel better soon, maybe you are not ready for this kind of relationship and he was a bit older with more experience, dont dwell on it it is part of life maybe someone to speak with would help.

[RockRose]

You know,  plur, you'll find that sometimes when a guy touches you it feels so tender and warm and loving - like he's really expressing a tender feeling.  Sometimes,  it's a total grope and he's just trying to cop a feel.  And you can certainly feel the difference!  One feels dirty and base,  and the other feels wonderful and loving.

Good for you for wearing the shirt again.  When you have something that makes you feel anxious and panicky,  if you can manage to walk towards it and get through it,  you'll be better for it.  You can take control.

And as you get older and bolder,  when a guy touches you like this again and it doesn't feel right,  you'll feel empowered to stop him right then,  right when it feels wrong.

Take care of yourself.  You sound strong.