Help for 13 year old son

[angel0808]

I never thought I would have to be posting something like this.  First of all, I have 2 children, a 13 year old son and a 3 year old daughter.  My ex husband and I divorced when my son was 9, and he spends every other weekend with his father.  He lives primarily with me, my daughter and my boyfriend (who has been with us since the divorce.)   My ex husband and his wife just dropped my son off after his weekend and informed me that my son has been going into his 13 year old step sisters room and touching her while he is sleeping.  Apparently this has happened 3 or 4 times before.  She claims that he has poked at her breasts and grabbed her butt.  He claims that he was "dreaming" and does not remember any of this.  I am horrified and at a total loss as to what to do.  He does not sleep walk.  I'm sure that he did this.  He is going through puberty and spends a lot of time alone in his room, so I know that he is exploring his sexuality, but this is crossing the line!  I know that he has never been abused or anything, so why is this happening?????  What am I supposed to do?  I immediately think I should get him counseling but I don't want to make him feel like there is something wrong with him.  My husbands wife says that I should watch my son around my daughter which made me a bit mad.  I know my child!!!  But this is just too much.  What do I do?

[blujay12]

Kids at this age are curious about sex and what it might feel like. But to me, it sounds unbelievable that a 13 y/o boy would have the nerve to sexually touch a 13 y/o girl.I thought they'd only do it to smaller children, but I guess not... I understand that he is going through puberty and there is a lot of things going through his head. But one thing for sure, he should know better that he should NEVER touch someone inappropriately. I agree that he should get counseling. I am very sorry for your son, and I'll pray for him every day.

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I agree w/ both the other posters.  I think your son needs some sort of help and needs counseling.  I do believe a 13 year old knows better, and crossing boundaries is crossing a line.  Like you said, he is going through puberty and hormones are everywhere.  That part is normal.  Going into someone's room and touching them inappropriately while they sleep isn't.

I would also not be offended by someone talking to you about your daughter.  You never know.  I know this from experience.  Sometimes they will prey on smaller children.  Often times because there is less of a chance of the younger child telling someone.  It happens so much more often than you might think.  I learned this the hard way.......

[margypops]

This is a tough one to deal with you have my sympathies it  happens a lot and you do have to protect your small daughter by watching her, when he is around he should not be alone with her. I feel his Dad should take it seriously and speak very strongly to your son I also think that he does need counseling ,it doesnt matter if he thinks there is something wrong with him, he is 13-14 it is not permissible for him to do this.He could do it to other children so go with your gut feeling and get some help.

[jo929]

i am sorry that you are having problems, but your son is 13 and he knows better, it could get worse, if something is not done now, go down thw Abuse column and read the one Im Torn About my Family, her 13 year old son raped his 5 year old half sister, and she partly blames the little 5 year old child which is ridiculous, sorry about spelling. a male is a male, and they must be taught at a young age, it may be a small matter now, but 13 is young, but they still think about it.  I wish you luck. and do not get mad when they say to watch your female child it does happen, so you might try and listen.Also someonw wrote in that their 14 year old was sexually active and wanted to know if he should buy him codoms or not, I know what i would do to him, but i am not the parent thank goodness i wish you luck in dealing woth this he needs some kind of strick discipline for what he has done now, and i know he needs some talking too  luck   jo

[angel0808]

Anyone?

[angel0808]

By the way, I talked to my sister about this because I was hysterical and she said that she didn't think there was anything wrong..that he is a teenage boy who was curious and took it a bit too far.  That he just needs to be told what is appropriate and what is inappropriate, and that since he was "caught" that it probably would not happen again.  I am so confused.