My husband is getting worse and worse

[yazoocitymiss]

He has always been possesive, but now it's to the point of ridiculous.  If I go to the other side of town (I used to live there and have my doctors, mechanic, friends there) he immediately accuses me of any and everything.  If I visit with my neighbor I'm in cahoots with her and talking about him.  He is constantly raising his voice and comes up with the most out of this world accusations...none of them true.  If I stand up for myself then he says "I'm done...we need to figure out what we are going to do"  meaning divorce.  I tell him "go for it" - because actually I really don't care anymore.  Last nite he got home at 10:30 ...no call no nothing...I asked him where he had been and his response was "oh here and there" - then he started putting his supper together (I had eaten at 6 like a normal person) all the while grumbling "I guess I'm on my own" - what I was thinking was DAMN RIGHT - I honestly have only hate for him.  I know it sounds bad, but he has brought it on.  A little while ago I called him because my check engine light is on and I have to take my car through emissions and I didn't know if I should just take it to my mechanic first or try to get it through emissions.  Of course he didn't answer the phone.  So I put a call in to my mechanic (had to leave a message) - then dear hubby calls back and I tell him why I had called, but that I had called my mechanic and that I would probably take my car to emissions and if it fails then my mechanic is less than 1/8 mile away.  He immediately throws a tantrum and tells me I'm being stupid, and that why do I want to go all the way to the other side of town when I can get emissions out where we live.  Well, first I didn't even know there was an emissions place out here, and second if it fails I have to go to the other side of town to my mechanic anyway.  At which time he responds "whatever....there's more to this than you're telling me..do what ever you want" - I simply hung up.  
I'm sorry this is so long.  Got carried away venting.  Thanks for reading.

[allmymarbles]

Does he have hardening of the arteries? You can have hardening of the arteries of the brain  this can affect personality and behavior.

[Luplor]

He needs help, counseling. However, he has to want it or risk losing you. Bring up the subject of marriage counseling.

I know, it took my wife leaving, to open my eyes. She finally told me how she felt and what I was doing. But I was all ears. I am in counseling and have volunteered to be a speaker at support groups. Hopefully I can save at least one marriage and stop the verbal abuse. Verbal abuse that is just as painful as a blow. I thought I was a good husband because I never hit her.

My wife and I are separated but are going to individual counseling and hopefully to marriage counseling and reuniting. Remember, be honest with yourself, you might have some issues as well.

Good luck and if I can be of help, feel free. I will check time to time.

[kenneltech]

Gee!  Sounds like a really serene, loving, happy marriage! You poor thing, and I certainly don't blame you for not caring anymore, he did that to himself!

Only thing I can say is this could possibly lead to something worse if he REALLY thought you were screwing around.  Often, verbal abuse and controlling leads to more physical and mental abuse, who knows how long it will take, it varies.

May I ask you, do you have any kids?  If you have kids, then my advise is to leave him.  Those kids pick things like this up, they are very smart.  They don't need to be watching you showing no affection or anything toward your husband (their father), nor do they need to be in the middle of the arguing and bickering.  

Otherwise, the only way you could possibly stay together is if he admits he has a serious problem and goes and gets some serious help.  NOT YOU! You don't go with him as far as him dealing with his control issues and verbal abuse.  You both can go to marriage counselling, but that depends on if it's gone too far for you to even want to put forthe the effort.

Just remember, any type of control or abuse issues, left unchecked, will get worse, and your kids should not be raised in this environment.

Good luck.

[margypops]

I know how you feel,venting is okay,its very frustrating, you sound very patient,  have you told him how you feel is he someone you can talk it over with ?  

[iam1butterfly]

Wow! I feel your pain... your husband reminds me of an ex-boyfriend... No, actually my ex "stick of dynamite" would have not only gone ballistic with me... he would have gone to the mechanics shop and thrown a hysterical fit with the mechanic. My ex has BPD, which makes me wonder if your husband has some form of mental disorder.