I know this is the typical answer and probably not the one that u wanted but u need to go see a psychologist. Im really proud of u for talking about your experiences. They suck and it's not easy, but u did it and I'm really really proud of you. There's nothing you can do to change the past, but you can change your view on the past, and that's what pus holograms help you do. I think you should tell your bf about what happened so he knows that it's not his fault and so he knows how to act towards you. U could always file for a court order to get them in jail or something aswell. I'm sorry for what u had to go through, no one deserves any of that. If u ever need to talk about this more, please feel free to message me. Best of luck! :)
I replied to your other entry.
what happened to you as a child was not your fault and you are not alone. after abuse its hard to deal with what happened to you because we as humans were never meant to be victims, children were never meant to be abused, so its hard for us to process what happened emotionally and even harder to find understanding of why. if you would like a friend to talk to feel free to message me anytime, I am trying to start a group in my hometown to help people who have been victimized because I went through abuse for years and I will never be a victim again and the more people I teach to be survivors the the more I take back from the ones who hurt me. I really hope this helps you in some way and if you would like to talk I am a good listener.