Aa
abusive.. manipulative
Today I was upset because my husband has been sleeping in all day and never getting up to do anything. I suggest getting up to go walk and to be healthy. He insists on video games and sitting inside.
Long story short, we went out and got into an argument. Like always, it seemed to be my fault that I was bringing up something about us not spending time enough because he is always choosing to be inside and that it isn't a great time to talk about.
He decides to threaten and yell to the top of his lungs about jumping out of my car and in front of it just to prove a point. I beg him not to and I quickly push the child locks and lock the door.
I keep telling him, "honey, stop please don't hurt yourself, we can go back home or whatever and talk about this. "
He jumps out of my door and waves at people and yells "kidnap" and draws a lot of attention. I constantly say "baby please come back in the car, stop this..."
and then he runs back home.
I am sick of being patient with him and listening to him and having him tell me I am wrong when as soon as I get off work or school I call him and head right home. I am sick of him never apologizing. He use to be a man who never raised his voice or hung up the phone and now he won't stop yelling and he won't stop hanging up.
I know he lost his job and he is frustrated, but I don't think constantly yelling and taking it out on me and pulling these crazy stunts is a good way when all I am trying to do is be there and love him.
i don't know.
My friends and my family tell me to leave him for these past 3 years, and maybe I do need to do better for myself?
He is erectile dysfunction.. but regardless.. i love him to death. he is known to over react and be really irrational about things because he tends to victimize himself.
his reason for not going to college is because his parents have no money.
his reason for not going later to college is because he is too tired.
his reason for being laid off all the time is because of his boss.
I love him. but when will he see his faults and man up and cuddle up to me and tell me he is sorry instead of me always holding him and listening and loving him. I feel over stepped. I know i've been wrong before but there are so many times he can shove how i have lost my temper and said things i didn't mean in my face.
He isn't the same calm, soft, gentle man I fell in love with anymore.
i don't know who this person is anymore.
I've had enough.
Can anyone relate to this? How a loved one just changes so much... to a point where i had to cry and accept that this may have to be it.
Long story short, we went out and got into an argument. Like always, it seemed to be my fault that I was bringing up something about us not spending time enough because he is always choosing to be inside and that it isn't a great time to talk about.
He decides to threaten and yell to the top of his lungs about jumping out of my car and in front of it just to prove a point. I beg him not to and I quickly push the child locks and lock the door.
I keep telling him, "honey, stop please don't hurt yourself, we can go back home or whatever and talk about this. "
He jumps out of my door and waves at people and yells "kidnap" and draws a lot of attention. I constantly say "baby please come back in the car, stop this..."
and then he runs back home.
I am sick of being patient with him and listening to him and having him tell me I am wrong when as soon as I get off work or school I call him and head right home. I am sick of him never apologizing. He use to be a man who never raised his voice or hung up the phone and now he won't stop yelling and he won't stop hanging up.
I know he lost his job and he is frustrated, but I don't think constantly yelling and taking it out on me and pulling these crazy stunts is a good way when all I am trying to do is be there and love him.
i don't know.
My friends and my family tell me to leave him for these past 3 years, and maybe I do need to do better for myself?
He is erectile dysfunction.. but regardless.. i love him to death. he is known to over react and be really irrational about things because he tends to victimize himself.
his reason for not going to college is because his parents have no money.
his reason for not going later to college is because he is too tired.
his reason for being laid off all the time is because of his boss.
I love him. but when will he see his faults and man up and cuddle up to me and tell me he is sorry instead of me always holding him and listening and loving him. I feel over stepped. I know i've been wrong before but there are so many times he can shove how i have lost my temper and said things i didn't mean in my face.
He isn't the same calm, soft, gentle man I fell in love with anymore.
i don't know who this person is anymore.
I've had enough.
Can anyone relate to this? How a loved one just changes so much... to a point where i had to cry and accept that this may have to be it.
I gather you have no children. Keep it that way. Otherwise all you have to look forward to is a life of poverty and children with no future. Head for the hills. Your husband is a parasite. And he can't even provide you with good sex. We are supposed to be understanding about the last item, and one could under other circumstances. But taking everything as a whole, he has nothing to give you.
So try to get him into therapy or counselling maybe some ,you sound like you still think a lot of him so maybe its worth a shot.
My husband isn't that crazy. Nothing with the law or anything that like. Very loyal. Doesn't look at a single women. He is just extremely emotional and out of control.
I don't feel like I am making him do anything.
I actually feel tricked. he would tell me how upset he is being home all the time, and i would surprise him with a trip somewhere or on my days where i am not busy suggest going out together to do some of his favorite things.
He puts it off. He doesn't do anything at home because he is unemployed, i realize it is depression and there are many times where i tell him I can't do this anymore.
He says, "ok, everytime you bring this up you ruin my mood. you try to ruin the whole day. you just always bring up this crap at the wrong time."
and it turns into an argument when really all i was saying was how much i miss him.
I actually feel tricked. he would tell me how upset he is being home all the time, and i would surprise him with a trip somewhere or on my days where i am not busy suggest going out together to do some of his favorite things.
He puts it off. He doesn't do anything at home because he is unemployed, i realize it is depression and there are many times where i tell him I can't do this anymore.
He says, "ok, everytime you bring this up you ruin my mood. you try to ruin the whole day. you just always bring up this crap at the wrong time."
and it turns into an argument when really all i was saying was how much i miss him.
oh I am not disagreeing with you, he does sound as if he has a problem which I said in my post .it could be he is depressed , and as I said he does need help ,if you cant get any help and it continues then tell him you are leaving ,see if that will make him do something about it .
He hasen't worked for over 5 months... and complains about how depressed he is staying inside all the time.
I think there is no reason to disagree with me because the things I do to get him out is because he complains about not getting out and doing anything. He asks me to be there for him and love him and I do, and just the sign of me off doing my own thing gives him anxiety and makes him upset like I don't care about him.
I think there is no reason to disagree with me because the things I do to get him out is because he complains about not getting out and doing anything. He asks me to be there for him and love him and I do, and just the sign of me off doing my own thing gives him anxiety and makes him upset like I don't care about him.
I am SO SORRY to hear this!
I went through the same thing, in the past, with my ex-husband. It took me over 3 years to get out...but my current husband saved my life.
My ex would yell at me and hit me, often. He did not work, so I supported us and our children. He played his video games and hung out with friends, also liked porn...but that is all he would do.
Never helped with the kids, never helped with cleaning, never showed me any attention...
One day, he became so abusive, that I woke up at 3am to him standing over me with a hammer in one had and my cell phone in the other. He said pick...your head or your phone. Well, I picked the phone. I was so scared that he would go after the children (ages 2 years and 8 months at that time) because they had just woke up crying, for a bottle. That morning, at 9am, I called his probation officer, she said he is not violating his probation and there was nothing she could do. I called the police, but because I had waited so long and stayed in the house, they said 'oh well'. 2 days later, he stepped on my throught until I blacked out. When I came too, he was gone and I called the police, again. They came just at the time he was getting home. They took photos and saw it was true, also showed them my phone from the few nights before. He spent 28 days in jail. Before he had gotten out, I moved and got a restraining order.
I tryed to file for divorce, but you have to be seperated for a year first...
Now, 4 years later, I am happily married to a wonderful man, have more children and am so thankful everyday that I was finally strong enough to get out.
BE STRONG!!!
YOU are worth it!!!
P.S.
He was on probation / house arrest for being abusive and kicking me in my stomach, while I was pregnant with my second, holding my first. That time, he only spent 14 days in jail and got put on house arrest, back to my house...Go figure..
I went through the same thing, in the past, with my ex-husband. It took me over 3 years to get out...but my current husband saved my life.
My ex would yell at me and hit me, often. He did not work, so I supported us and our children. He played his video games and hung out with friends, also liked porn...but that is all he would do.
Never helped with the kids, never helped with cleaning, never showed me any attention...
One day, he became so abusive, that I woke up at 3am to him standing over me with a hammer in one had and my cell phone in the other. He said pick...your head or your phone. Well, I picked the phone. I was so scared that he would go after the children (ages 2 years and 8 months at that time) because they had just woke up crying, for a bottle. That morning, at 9am, I called his probation officer, she said he is not violating his probation and there was nothing she could do. I called the police, but because I had waited so long and stayed in the house, they said 'oh well'. 2 days later, he stepped on my throught until I blacked out. When I came too, he was gone and I called the police, again. They came just at the time he was getting home. They took photos and saw it was true, also showed them my phone from the few nights before. He spent 28 days in jail. Before he had gotten out, I moved and got a restraining order.
I tryed to file for divorce, but you have to be seperated for a year first...
Now, 4 years later, I am happily married to a wonderful man, have more children and am so thankful everyday that I was finally strong enough to get out.
BE STRONG!!!
YOU are worth it!!!
P.S.
He was on probation / house arrest for being abusive and kicking me in my stomach, while I was pregnant with my second, holding my first. That time, he only spent 14 days in jail and got put on house arrest, back to my house...Go figure..
It does sound as if you got into the argument you describe here because you didnt like him doing what he wanted to do, now I do think he should get out and do things with you, however it is his choice, has he a reason for wanting to stay in, does he works hard all week and is tired ?Now the other things you are telling us here I do not agree with and yes I think he needs some professional help he may have an anger management problem , in fact its possible you could both use couples therapy .Good luck I hope you can get some help and save this marriage.
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