can my sister's husband have me arrested for hitting my sister the other day?

[caringnscared449]

My brother in law has been mentally and possibly physically abusing my neice and nephews and sister for 10 years.  I believe that he is a sociopath.  He has no remorse for anything he does or says and my sister just constantly is at his defense.  She sees it, but she is looking at him like a paycheck.  She doesn't work very much and he wont let her work anywhere else to supplement her income.  He is very controlling, doesn't control his swearing ever.  He is very concerned with power.  The other day, we ( my mom, and two sisters and I) were having a pretty truthful conversation about her husband and she did not like to hear the truth, she got upset and didnt want to hear any of it, so I got very very upset because i cannot stand to see her choose her psycotic husband over my niece and nephews any longer , i ended up hitting her.  I am not justifiying this, it was wrong.  I just want to know if her husband can file charges against me for hitting his wife?  Can he have me arrested for this?  I want to file a restraing order against him to protect my family as he sent a very nasty email to the whole family, but I do not want to get arrested.  I also want to call DSS but not sure if this would have reprecussions either on my family.  I know he would know it was me! This has never happened in my family until this idiot came into it!  If someone knows this answer, please let me know

[allmymarbles]

He would be a fool to have you arrested. If he did that his abuse would come out in the open. Sometimes, when, in emotional turmoil, we do things that are out of character for us. Forget about it. It is not as though you took a baseball bat to her.

[benjimom]

IF you are concerned about the kids, you can call child protective services and they would launch an investigation. I would try to stay out of the home there and do your own thing.  IT is too much to deal with.    

You cannot get her to get out fhte home. she has to want it. It's hard.  

Have you ever read about codependency?  I used to live with an alcoholic spouse and sometimes I would fight him to try to get teh alcohol out his hands. Crazy I know to peopel who havce not been there, but living and trying to change people can get us really doing things we don't normally do like hitting sisters out of anger, etc..  It can make us almost insane as we get caught up in the quest to change others.

[margypops]

BRILLIANT ....... hey PM me

[motherofsons]

Well we took the house but not the senate.  I voted!  How are you feeling today.

[margypops]

the answer seems to be yes he can ....

[teko]

You did the very thing you accuse her husband of doing, so in her eyes, how credible are you? You abused her and are not paying her bills either. Unfortunately until she sees the problem and wants to do something about it, you will simply be a meddler in her eyes and she will protect him all the more. She has to want out before you can help her. As far as you hitting her and him having you arrested, no I don't think he can do anything but she can. Be careful with your good intentions because if he is abusing her, your actions could make it worse for her. At the very least he will make her break all communication and then you will have no knowledge of what is going on. In time she will need you and it would be good if u are there for her to turn to, but it has got to be in her time, not yours.

[Jaquta]

Hitting is no different to what you are accusing your brother-in-law of doing although I expect it was more out of frustration than anything else.

If a formal complaint is made then I expect the police would need to investigate it.  I think some sort of complaint would need to come from your sister though.

It sounds like you need some professional advice.  Is there an agency or organization in your area that you could turn to for support and advice?

You could perhaps try the abuse support community forum as they may have more ideas.

If you're really stuck I would talk to your family doctor.