dealing with the past

[clairebear_55]

This is tje first time ive told this to anyone but cant keep it burried forever. Im not sure how it began but when i was about 10/11 a friend of mine - slightly older began touching me, she kinda made it into a game and I didnt really know any better and I remember feeling awkward but it feeling nice in some way too. Uears later I discovered she was being abused by her granda and thonk that she was acting this out on me. I became very promiscuous from and by 14 had lost my virginity to a guy 19. Around same time I started drinking then quickly moved onto drugs cannabis- lsd, speed and ecstasy.  At19 I needed money to pay off a drug debt and I ended up prostituting in a brothel. I done this for aboabout sux months then I was badly raped.  I habe neaten myself up about my past for years. Then recently out of nowhere I had the urge to do it again.  Yes I needed the money but promised I wouldnt do it again. What os wrong with me

[Kermit the Hermit]

your a great person full of love and potential but like above a counselor is needed to sort it for you

5 years of ptsd and other past counseling im a different person

my past is there my demons are there

but i dont have to let them win or control my mind with regret

i look back and focus on the good the fun

get the help you need your a good person good luck

[Jinx_777]

you don't know any other way.  
please seek therapy so you can learn how to deal with your past, how to forgive yourself, how to love yourself and how to provide for yourself.
the learning to love yourself is the most important thing here.  honestly it is.
you don't value yourself at all because if you did you would never degrade yourself by prostituting.  
you deserve love just like everyone else, maybe more.  
please seek out therapy and begin to learn coping skills, go to school and learn a trade so you can better provide for yourself, etc.