Answer

[Jesuslovesmes]

My husband is so abusive he always keep me in the house
I can be his little **** wife he calls we have no kids cause he wants all my time I am getting depressed I lost 60 pounds and can't eat I am only 21 and my husband is 33. My mother says it's my fault she made me leave the church. Right now I have no friends no job no car no income he is a manager at Burger King. But he buys me everything and I have no one I guess. Help please I am writing this right now hiding in the bathroom. He gets home at midnight. Sally always tell me he is cheating I have had an STD twice all ready. My mothers tells me to come home but he can't come. If I leave he sad he will kill his self !!! I need help bad !!

[Yesidid]

Sweetie go home. Leave this loser. If he is typical of others like him, he is way too selfish and too cowardly to kill himself. This is a Very common threat abusers use to manipulate their victims.

[Yesidid]

It is not your responsibility to continue to accept his abuse in order to keep him happy or even keep him alive.  He is manipulating you into believing this!

[AnnieBrooke]

You're lucky you have no kids and a mom who wants you back, sometimes abusers this controlling have managed to get rid of the mom by being so awful to deal with that she gives up.  Go home, and don't be found there either.  

[Godisfaithful]

Him saying he will kill himself is another way to control you. When I was younger, in my teens, for years my brother always threatened to kill himself. The key word is "for years". When I stopped running behind him every time he said it, he stopped. I don't remember the last time he said it. He is now over 50 and living back in our hometown of Cleveland, Ohio. I pray he doesn't kill himself. But if he does it IS NOT your fault. I really do think it's a way to control you.

[Nighthawk61]

I'm glad he's the kind of jerk that is too selfish to share you with children, so many like him want nothing more than to saddle a women with a child so that it's harder to leave.....
It' seems obvious he's cheating, so if you start to think that you love him, understand that he does not love you, NOT because you are not lovable, but because he is unable to fulfill the requirements of being in love, there's lot's of people out there that exist, manipulate, use... and there's plenty of women that have been brought up with no self pride that will fall into an uneasy awful life with the likes of your , hopefully one day soon "awful X".

Lot's of women have disastrous first marriages., and go on to meet a real man who has room in his life for a real family and a real family life. You have to tell yourself that you are good enough for a good life, and that you have the patience and drive to make it happen. You need to think about college, and meeting friends in college that will be your peer group that helps you to meet new people, and one day meet MR. RIGHT.

Right now, you've got mr wrong, but, is the dawn not always brighter after the dark? it surely is. You will one day have a greater satisfaction with your hard earned happiness, because you have seen a sub par life.

Make some close friends, that you can share your feelings with. This is a great site for that. Okay? Old timers around here love to help out younger people, and raise their bottoms, raise their bottoming out. Instead of waiting around to be abused further, you can instead learn by our experience and gain valuable strength and hope. I sure wish i had some where to pick up such good advice when i was young, and alone with a big problem first husband.
Liz

[Jesuslovesmes]

Thanks everyone I am going back to my my mom she is coming to help pack Friday morning he will be at work and will not see it coming

[Yesidid]

Good for you! There is no way you wanted this relationship to be the story of your life.  Now it will be only a small chapter.

[christiraj]

Hey sis in christ.your storyz lik mine.m glad nw u decided to let go.dont worry u deserve hapines.u wont regret it.gud luck.

[Icanlisten]

You are stronger than you think.  Just by reaching out for help takes more courage than you realize.  The best is that you are the victim. Not him.
You can not fix him. You don't need fixing you are a good person, who thinks with her heart.  He needs to control you for whatever reasons, do not stick around to find out. The longer you stay the longer and more strong his his hold on you.  Reach out to your Mom, go home, but also instead of looking for help here call when safe at moms to any of the safe space or battered women associations,they are trained to help you....you are a battered women...he want his control over you. Please I beg you get out while you can.  Don't worry about the things you own,just go.  But make that phone call it will be the beginning of a new you, the honestly good person you are.   You will survive this if you act now and make the call, they can even find you a place to stay at no cost.  You will only be safe when you are away from him.  Your not bad for worrying about your self.  I have been in your spot.  You must make that first step and others will be there to help you.  He will hurt you if you stay does he rape you, it is rape even if it's your husband. Does he belittle you and make you feel worthless.  That is battering.  You can be strong, you wouldn't let anyone do this to someone you love, don't let him do this to you. You are worthwhile, and know one at a battered woman's home will judge you.   God is with you, he needs you to be strong and act on your thoughts......my love reaches out

[AnnieBrooke]

Also want to add, don't stick around at your Mom's, call a safe space or battered women's shelter and see if you can get out of your mother's place as soon as you leave your husband's, since that is the first place he is going to come looking for you.  And if he does find you there, call the police, don't fall for his "I just want to talk" that he will give you, and let him at you in that way.  Your mom can keep your things, you pack a suitcase and be out of Mom's and don't tell her either where you are, just call her later to tell her you are safe.  Your husband might give up after a while but right at the first is exactly when he is most likely to come after you.  Be safe, please, take this situation seriously.  Will you write back when you are out so we can know you're OK?

[AnnieBrooke]

Oh, and the reason I said not to tell your Mom where you are is for her own safety.  Then she can say to your angry husband, "I don't know where she is."  If she seems to know but not to tell, that will put her in danger from him.

If you can't get into a shelter tonight, see if your mom and you can go to a hotel for a few days.  You do not want to be where he expects you to be, i.e., at your mother's, the very first few days especially.

[Yesidid]

Are you okay?

[Yesidid]

Are you okay?

[kelsbby19]

Everything he is saying to you is to keeovyou to stay. He wont kill himself. And IF he does that is on him because clearly he has some issues.. your a strong woman my age to be exact and I am as well in an abusive relationship.  But what hes doing to you is ruining your life. GO HOME now while you still can!! While you DONT hava any kids woth this pathetic guy... dont make excuses...just pack your things amd go home to your mom... amd STAY AWAY it will be the best desicsion of your life I promise!!! Listen to these people!! Listen to me, someone who was in your shoes.. there IS away out there IS light at the end of ythe tunnel!!