my fiance is abusive

[tyonaB]

Hello I'm 19 and I have been with my fiance for 3 years we have two boys together I don't no what to do is I should stay or go he has bkacked my eye because he says I want stop talking when he's all redy up set he chokes me and puts me down he tells me I look nasty and whi would want me he all ways watches porn behind my back and cakks chatlines when I'm not around he calls me a ***** and when I try and leave he tells me he is sorry and that he loves me and if he's around other people and I say sime then wrong he will start to talk so bad to me and if I start to cry he just says oh my gosh here u go with this again and I'm currently pregnant but I may be having a missed miscarrieg. And I lost a baby befor because he stressed me out so bad what should I do    

[pmuse]

It's hard because even abuse becomes familiar to us so as we feel it's ok, and maybe we deserve it in some way.. Not so..My fiance when I was 17 found out I was cheating on him with an older guy.  So my fiance then kindly lured me to his house, opened the door...and then shut the door to his level of this very palacial estate his Italian sister upstairs listening..proceeded to then pull me in, slammed the door, punched me in the face, pushed me on the floor, kicked me in the uterus four times, stood me back up slapped me over and over me doing nothing...then he said " you want blah blah" and then raped me.  My father was alive then, and would have killed him so I didn't tell my dad, but I did immediately the next day break up with this guy my father present to give the ring back.  Abuse of any kind is so not cooL, and so not deserved. So if you can seek support in this situation for your life, and the good lives your children deserve please! do.  This man will not change.  Sorry is just a word.  Actions speak the truth.  Blessings,

[ANewLife4Me]

You are 19, still young but have been through so much.  You are obviously strong, so please, leave.  I know from experience that he will Not change, it will only get worse.  You do not want him to start on your children as well, because it's bound to happen eventually.  Do you have any family around you to support you?  I would start making a plan now, put money away if you can, pack things away and hide them, put them at a family or friend's house.  Find out if you are pregnant or not, that will be less one thing on your plate as far as worrying goes.  Good luck to you..

[margypops]

The other members here are right, he will not change in fact they get more abusive, by staying you are enabling it, my concern is that these little innocent children as they always are, will be seeing and hearing the abuse he perpetrates on you he may also turn on them, . For their sake you should leave, ask a family member to help you or seek help through a womans shelter .good luck

[cheshchesh819]

All i can do when i read your post is look shocked,i think at 19 you have gone through so much already,3 kids a miscarriage another pregnancy and now this,please for your own sanity get the hell out of there,if not for your sake but for your children,this cannot go on and shouldnt,you are 19 young,please leave no mattter what he says he dont love you,he loves to control you.

[luckimandi]

You need to leave him. I know, I know easy for me to say. Trust me I have been in your situation and when you are there you don't think you can leave or you get drawn back in by the empty promises. The fact of the matter is that, unless he undergoes serious therapy, he won't change. The abuse is going to continue to get worse. You don't deserve that. Your children definitely do NOT deserve to be raised around that. Be strong, be courageous and get out while you can.

[allmymarbles]

When someone has a fiance, there is an intention to marry. Yet you are going have his third baby and still are not married. I mention that only because your term does not appear to be appropriate. It suggests that you are embarrassed at not being married to him.

I don't know why you stay with him. You must have your reasons, but they are not clear to anyone but you. The answer is always to leave your partner if you are unhappy. Why haven't you?