to add to this...yes u can say their reactions may be 'WOW" or reaction to my being pretty but let me explain-- they arent good reactions-- it is extreme...nastiness, abuse meanness....very rarely do i get a 'WOW youre hot" reaction...its usually contempt, hatred, abuse horror...really really bad stuff....and if 'every' human treats u this way-- just about....how can you survive on this planet being a loner who is persecuted? all i get fro people is abuse/negativity--oh...WHY did u keep going back to him? oh WHY are u this..WHY dont u stand up for yourself...all i get is manipulation and abuse....negativity...yet if somenoe came to me, i would treat them only with compassion help...guidance....yet no one helps to guide me and im the persno who people throw into a gutter constantly....i dont know what to do...or how to deal with this.....people have done such horrible things to me....and gotten away with them...and i keep suffering and they live ok....and the things people do to me-- aer so shocking cruel mean...and it is non-stop?? i dont know what to do...who to turn to--no one is helpful or nice...no one says-- hey aer you ok? come visit me...let's hang out...have a good time...never...people wont invite me over and a woman who's place i used to go to for some kind of comfort, my mother said "dont bother her"...if i go to people saying "this person did this bad thing to me" all i get is more hostility negativity from that person...never kindness or help....but what i witness is others get kindness and help from others...but people throw only extreme hostility to me....i dont know what to do or who to get help from...there have to be some decent people in this world left...who won't treat a good person lower than dirt....i dont get why this is even happening to me-...
its true that people sometimes feel this way in life-- when things go bad-- or in general, but for me...its different...this is almost every human interaction i have...this is something ive never hoenstly witnessed in my life....ive seen pretty girls, all types of people...people get treated in different ways--there are rude people, nice people etc...but with me..it's different....i get treated with contempt...people try to throw me in the gutter...everyone....they dont allow me a voice, an opinion...if it ry they will undermine me....they make sure to have total power/control over me...i have so many people who've done everything just to gain control of my life and in extreme ways...and more predators to join the bandwagon of the initial ones....then its fending between narcissists/abusers...who are all manipulating me in the same extreme ways...and no one to turn to-- with a 'cruel world' that really is very cruel to you...and not a single friend in the world....just people who give you bizarre looks, treat you badly, or treat u like you're some 'worthless "hot girl" who they can treat like garbage.... its a trap that you can't seem to get out of....ive been from counselor to counselor-- person to person....yes seeking some guidance, help...such as...can u please at least show some kindness...even that will help--yet no kindness...only more abuse....is this just the nature of people today? that there are not real kind people out there or why do they not show kindness to me and only contempt....this is even upon...witnessing me...this isnt anything other than 'appearance/vibe/presence'....ive had people say "youre a powerful person"....but who cares...none of it makes sense...even the meanest rudest people...even the hottest , even the anything dont get treated teh way i get treated....and i dont know what to do about it-- except know that im going to be living life just suffering...at the hands of 'everyone'...and people say "oh put your boundaries' yet when i try, all i get is more abuse from-- whoever is doing it-- and that can be anyone or everyone-- i get kicked/banned from places....anything for people to show me, they have the 'upper hand' over me....is there a reason this is happening....to someone like me or to anyone
The only specific examples of people being mean to you that you gave were: "why are you this", "why don't you stand up for yourself" and "don't bother her." The "don't bother her" comment isn't exactly nice, no - especially from a mother. The "why are you this" is too vague to know what the intention is behind it. But the "why don't you stand up for yourself" comment is most likely supposed to be a statement of support - just not everyone says it in a supportive way. Someone who is making that comment is, most likely, trying to encourage you to be more assertive about your needs... not say anything derogatory about you.
Your concerns could be better addressed if you were more specific about what is said/done to you. You mention that you are abused by almost everyone. In what ways are you being abused? It's hard to determine what's going on without specific examples of situations.
One thing I did notice... you seem to have a fixation on your physical beauty. It's good that you are confident about your looks. But, after reading how beautiful you are dozens of times, it starts to get old. Do you talk about your beauty with others? Do you compare their looks to yours? Do you greet people with a comment about your looks? That can definitely put people on the offensive. Most people don't want to hold a conversation about the other person's beauty. Is it possible you talk about this too much with others?
You also mentioned that you've seen counselors and they have all been rude/abusive/etc. You do have a right to make a formal complaint in those situations - it is professionally inappropriate for them to treat patients in such ways. Reporting them may actually lead you to a counselor who would be better for you. It would be nice for you to elaborate on how they were mean to you. It's definitely not common to run into several counselors who all act this way. Knowing specifics would help to find the underlying problem.
I think that most people like outgoing happy people Looks help.. but I have known other women who are good listeners, funny, dont talk about them selves, and show an interest in others .Very often it is our attitude to life helps us win friends and draw people to us, a positive attitude evn when we dont feel great helps...I agree with mten above that maybe some differant counselling may help you, and try not to dwell on any problems start thinking about the good things in your life .good luck..
When you are around other people, do you hold your head up or do you look at the ground? I ask this because people see a confident person when you hold your head up but a doormat when you look at the ground. And people like to step on doormats. You have to change your attitude...when you meet people, do you tell them about how everyone dislikes you and how they abuse you? That can cause people to shy away from getting to know you. Forget how pretty you are. That's just a bow on top of a package...what's inside the package is what counts. Try to think of your good qualities (not your looks) and try to work on them. If you were at a party, would YOU like to spend time with you? What would you say in a conversation with yourself? What would you talk about, (again NOT you looks). You sound like a nice person and I do want you to be happy. You have to start with yourself, find some happiness with in yourself and hold your head up! What do like to do? Is there something that you would enjoy...painting, a book club, etc. Do something you enjoy doing, really get interested in something FOR YOU, When you feel more confident and less down on life, you will be amazed how people will be attracted to you. Keep us all informed as to how you are doing. I hoped I helped a little and maybe if you think about what I have said, well maybe you can come up with a solution to some of your problems. God Bless.
You are more interested in yourself than other people. That might be one of the problems. Also, you seem to be a "needy" person. Needy people have a void that cannot be filled and tend to sell themselves cheap. (Among the celebrities, Marilyn Monroe comes to mind.) Neediness may be attractive to users and abusers, but not to healthy men.
You assume your beauty gives you a free ride. It doesn't. You claim you are universally despised. Is this true, or are you merely expressing your disappointment that the world does not flock to your side?
Beauty can be a curse. Often beautiful people do not develop as fully as their less gifted fellows. I always wondered why I was attracted to men who were not handsome and realized it was because they were more interesting and complex.
Is this for real? "I am drop dead gorgeous." In whose opinion, yours? Maybe it is that exact feelings of yourself that comes out in your countenance and you act too unapproachable.
It also seems like this pattern is over and over and over again, YOU have to learn which people to let into your life. It seems like you are picking men that are mean and creeps, set your standards a little higher and stop coming off a so desperate. What are you going to do when your "beauty" fades with age? Bet you can get men and friends then.
Saying that you are "universally despised" makes me kind of wonder if you are a little paranoid and this is all in your head. That's a pretty heavy comment, and totally unrealistic. Is this how you come off to people when they try to get to know you? That could be half of your problem. Sorry, but I don't believe it's everyone's fault but yours. Work on yourself.
As I read this over, I find that it is so full of extremes (you are every man's dream; everyone despises you) that you must be having a bit of fun with us. Are you pulling our collective legs?
The last entry was meant for you.
Melisa, if this post is actually for real, and you are looking for help, let me offer this: what you are saying is simply not true.
It's simply not true. If you go up to the grocery store check out girl, with a smile on your face, it's not true that she is insulting and rude to you. Maybe 1 in 50 would do that. All the rest are either completely neutral, or friendly.
That's just the way it is.
Let me also offer this - just reading your post, you are very off-putting. If you put out vibes in person the way you do in this post, I'm not surprised you don't have any long term friendships at all - your thoughts are not attractive.
But when you say absolute strangers are rude and insulting to you - ALL of them, ALL the time, that's simply not true. There is something completely wrong with your perception of the world.
I think you should ask someone - very honestly and humbly - that you've known a long time for help in discovering why you can't form relationships. Just say I'm not going to be made, I just want information because I'm at a crossroads in my life where I am terribly lonely and lost and confused. And then when they tell you what you are doing that's so off-putting, don't fight them about it. Just believe it, and work to make things better.
I agree maybe people can pick up on how much you love yourself,each to their own how we feel about ourselves,but when a person lets off vibes that she is the one the bomb gods gift to life then that is when people shy away,noone wants to be around a big head and feeling like they are always second best to a sex goddess,and as for strangers treating like this your vibes must be very strong when walking around,maybe you should concentrate on a personality change instead of expecting the world to change.
Hi Melisa I know some of the posts here sound hard and are hard to take, but read them all through you wont get better therapy for sevaral hundred bucks than you got here, thing is to open up read it all and digest what is meant by each poster ...If you can do that ,come back and tell us how it has helped... good luck
I have found, with exceptions of course, that extremely knowledgeable and insightful people post on these forums
thank you, thats what I meant ,I also have found that to be true ...
By the way, I reserve the right to disagree with you. There wouldn't be much help for anyone if we all had the same opinions.
To be completely honest with you, Mellisa, if 98% of people you meet end up treating you bad, that you feel there isn't a single person you are friends with, then it's time to take a long and hard look at yourself. EVERYBODY can't be mean and wicked to you at all times. There has to be someone that really likes you for YOU. Every one (being honest again IMO) cannot hate you, unless there are some certain vibes you pass on to them, and they in turn treat you bad.
How old are you? You sound like you gave a very high opinion of how you look. Of which a healthy dose is good. But when you keep calling yourself an 'angel' and saying stuff like you are 'very beautiful' you are 'sweet' while all these may be a good desciption of who you are, people generally want to see your personality, and how you relate with people. As a saying goes 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' you may look pretty to a certain person, and the complete opposite to another person. So try and work with yourself on this, and you may be better for it.
Ha Ha Ha ...you certainly do... whatever you are talking about because I dont know , do you ?LOL