It must be so difficult for you to feel so trapped. You don't have the addiction, it has you. There is some hope out there. Recently, a very promising study showed that Doxazosin (also known as Cardura), an alpha1-adrenergic antagonist traditionally used to treat hypertension and benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH), may also be effective in treating cocaine dependence. Talk to your doctor about prescribing it to you, especially if you have high blood pressure or difficulty with urine flow. It may help you with your cravings. Do it soon before you have a stroke or a heart attack or develop Parkinsonism or other awful things that cocaine can cause. Seriously, take care of yourself, you have too much to live for, my friend. Stay well.
Ok mr regret. Help is out there in your community. NA meetings will put you in touch with others in your area who've gotten clean & local resources.
Please let us know how you are doing. Pamela