Alcoholic/Addict

[Up_N_Down]

Hey all, I'm 23yrs old and new to this site and I've been drinking daily for the past 5 years. Not always quite this bad, but for the last few years I've had half a 40oz bottle of whisky a night or more. I also take oxys with the booze when I have them. I pretty much take anything I can find but alcohol is my biggest problem as I have withdrawls without it.

Things have gotten worse lately as it has become hard to function at work, or with family, ect. I used to be a top athlete in highschool and didn't start drinking or doing drugs untill I was 17 and then everything else didn't matter anymore since it seemed to solve all my problems. I recently let my family know what has been going on against my better judgement, since I managed to hide it very well over the years. I knew they wouldn't take it well and they havn't been sleeping much and held an intervention for me, but I still just can't give it up!

Just wondering who else is in the same boat. I'd appreciate some input on how to beat this! I don't know if I have it in me and I don't want to stop. I'm losing hope to fight this! I know everyone says the first step is to admitt it, and I'm able to as it's obvious even to myself that I'm out of control. But I wake up with the hangover thinking I'll change but once I get home from work the only thing I can think of is a drink right away.

[dominosarah]

Thank you!!  It feels so good to be off them.

You do know that snorting pills can be harder to stop than swallowing.  Does your nose bleed yet?  Your killin your nose too my friend not to mention what the pills do to you along with the alcohol.  What are you trying to run from?  I really do care about what is happening to you........sara

[Up_N_Down]

I'm back...I've never had a pill addiction like you, I just take them when I can. (congratulations by the way for your 630 days clean!) As far as what kind, OCs of different strengths ranging from perks to 80s. Usually I snort them as well. I'll also do other drugs like coke from time to time.

[dominosarah]

Where did you go?

[dominosarah]

Its your lucky day.....Guess what other forum i am from?  The substance abuse.....I had a nasty pill addiction which i am 630 days clean today.  What sort of pills are you taking?  Talk to me........sara

[Up_N_Down]

Thanks for that post...I found it inspiring and you are right about a few things. I am scared like crazy of a sober life and drinking is losing its effect. Thats why I combine it with pills/other drugs. Also your right I feel sorry for myself, but I hate myself too much to fix it. Another thing your right about is I have to get myself sober and thats not looking realistic to me at this point. I've tried that and failed over and over and I don't wanna do the rehab thing even if it means death. Like I've said my family is the only reason I can think of to sober up, but I find that addiction is stronger than love. Being around them just makes me uncomfortable and hate myself worse and of course I just wanna get f***ed up.

[Up_N_Down]

No I don't think I'm unique at all. I know there are plenty of people out there like myself. I just think I'm one of the weaker ones since I'm not excepting help when its offered. Your recovery is great and you came a long way from a terrible situation and I respect that alot. I don't wanna wind up like that but I've known all these years where my future was heading and it still didn't stop me. I've already lost alot of self respect but like you said there is some left. I hate what I'm doing to my family and honestly thats the only reason I'm thinking of recovery. I'd like them to be happy but as sick as it sounds, sometimes I'm mad at my parents for creating me.