Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Alcoholic wife

My wife is an alcoholic in denial. We just got married a few months ago and it’s becoming worse and worse ever since the wedding.  She’s drinking up to about one litter of vodka per day. During our honeymoon for instance, she never stop thinking about drinking and it was very annoying because she should have been thinking about other things (if you know what I mean). I’m not saying she mustn’t drink at all, I’m the first one who is drunk in parties you know but it’s not everyday like her.  What solution do you suggest to solve her problem?
5 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
alcoholism is progressive - it NEVER gets better, only worse with time
BUT
there is a solution:  absolute abstinence.

You should be willing to quit drinking also.  It would be a wondrous thing if You and Your Wife participated in this together - in support of One Another.

You should both seek other support as well.  There are many who share Your situation and are eager to help.  This is Your first step

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ask your wife to stop drinking for 1 week. As TTinKKerBBell said, you should not drink too in that week.
Helpful - 0
3060903 tn?1398565123
You've shared a couple of consequences to your wife's drinking, In time, there will be more. It IS definitely a progressive disease. You may not have bargained for having to quit drinking yourself, but if you want your wife to get her life back, she must abstain from drinking. and it's too hard to do that with a partner still imbibing themselves. Drinking to excess is a serious problem that needs immediate attention and the utmost care. I hope you're both up for it. There's a huge many alcoholics, like myself, that have quit and have never regretted it. One day at a time. We make our own luck, so i'll send you a blessing instead.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Everyday reduce the amount she drinks gradually. This way withdrawals will be minimal. If you try and get her to completely abstain then that can be very dangerous. It can cause many problems like seizures and even death.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sorry, but I agree with some of the folks here.

Stopping drinking for a week could cause seizures or even worse.  And we are NOT supposed to give tapering advice on here.  We are not physicians.

Honey, listen to me, carefully:  I have lost two friends who drank EXACTLY the same amount as your wife.  I'm going to give this to you straight:  Your wife is an alcoholic.   No ifs, ands, or buts about it.  And she cannot control or cut back on her drinking.  Once someone has crossed that line into alcoholism there is no going back.  Millions have tried, very few have succeeded.

She needs to be in an alcohol detox facility, where she can be medically supervised and gradually brought off the booze with medication.  At her levels of consumption, quitting on her own is foolhardy and dangerous.

You need to stop drinking too.  If you can't, or won't, then you probably have a drinking problem as well.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease.  It ALWAYS gets worse.   She is destroying not just her liver, but her heart, kidneys, pancrease, all her major body organs, not to mention her brain.  

If she refuses to accept that she needs help, you are in a tough spot.  You will, and I guarantee this, watch her get very, very sick, and then die.   It doesn't happen overnight, but when the process starts, it gets ugly fast.

My best friend in the world, (a first cousin, but we considered our sisters) was dx'd with fatty liver.  She didn't stop drinking.  Then she started having bloating, vomiting every day, but still she didn't stop.   Then came the diagnosis of cirrhosis, which is irreversible damage to the liver.

She began to bloat up like a balloon, and had to have fluid drained off her stomach every 4 weeks.  She slurred her speech all the time, repeated herself, and couldn't work.  But STILL she drank.  At the end, she was consuming a liter of vodka a day.  Finally, 2 years ago, she fell down a flight of stairs (drunk) and broke her neck.  Her body organs shut down and she died a week later.  She was in her 40's.  

I have another friend..an ex-boyfriend I've stayed close with.  He was a son who is also a bottle-of-vodka a day drinker.  The problem is, he has a lot of money, so he was able to find doctor after doctor who told him he could "cut down" on his drinking an be okay.    He'd switch to wine, or he put together a few good weeks, but always, ALWAYS, he would revert back to his old drinking habits.    He now has end stage cirrhosis, and is suffering terribly.

There is only ONE solution to "solve her problem" and that is she MUST get into a rehab program, and at her level of use, I'd suggest at least a 5 day inpatient stay.   Then she must commit to a life of sobriety.  The best way to do is and not hate your life is to join Alcoholics Anonymous.  

They are a WONDERFUL, AMAZING group that have changed the lives of millions of suffering alcoholics and addicts.  Meetings are free, you can go to (to the Open ones...there are also Closed meetings just for the alcoholic.)

But, and its a BIG one. She has to want to quit. At a bottle of vodka a day, how is she functioning?    A person, especially a young person, will hyper-function fine for a few years but then, as I said, all of a sudden it will turn, and turn BADLY.  

I really feel for you, honey.  You just married this woman, and she has a critical, fatal disease.  Read as much as you can about alcoholism.  Literally...go on the internet and just immerse yourself in all the literature out there.

If she doesn't want to quit, you have some tough decisions to make.  My ex's son has just gotten married too.  His new wife left him within a year after finding out just how bad his alcoholism was.

Alcohol is all around us...it's associated with fun, relaxation, celebration.  But the truth is, it is poison, and a LOT of people die because of this horrible disease.  

Good luck, and keep writing.  There is a forum "living with an addict" that you might want to check out.  Also there is a group called "Al-Anon"...it is for family members, spouses, etc of alcoholics.

Let us know how you're doing....I'll say a prayer for your wife..

Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Alcoholism Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
Nebulae, OH
3060903 tn?1398565123
Other
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.