I think i have a problem with alcohol. please help.

[LameDuck]

Hello,
i have been drinking since i was 14. Never to casually drink or to just "hang out", always to get drunk. Having said that, iam now 21 and its only getting worse. I honestly do not possess the ability to say no. Ive tried on more than one occasion to go to a party and drink water or just chill with friends, however, i always end up getting drunk and regretting many things the next day. The things i remember anyway. it isnt a new thing to be told that i made an *** of myself at the party, broke something, yelled at people, or hurt myself. Iam slowly realizing that im hurting other people other than myself. i dont want to be the person that no one wants to hang out with because they dont know how to control themselves with alcohol. Ive also tried to have a few and stop abruptly but that never works. i have to continue until im drunk. I only remember so much of the night, and almost always forget how i got to bed or how i got where i ended up for the night. i have on several occations driven drunk, thankfully, i have not injured anyone or myself in the process. I consider an alcoholic to be someone who drinks every day and is dependent on it. i drink 3 to 4 days of the week not everyday. dont see myself as needing alcohol to get through a day but i do use it to relieve stress and curve social anxiety. any suggestions or help would be appreciated.
Thanks

Michael

[marajeanne]

Hi,

I wrote a huge, long response to another post. But,this one will be short!

Ask yourself & HONESTLY answer these two questions:
"f, when you honestly want to, you cannot quit entirely"
"OR" (NOT AND, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE BOTH)
"If, when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take,
You are probably alcoholic."

That is taken from the text of the book, "Alcoholics Anonymous", which is the book from, of course, Alcoholics Anonymous.

Oh, and, I was nodding my head during your entire post. You are where I was. I didn't get sober until I was 26. And, it was much worse by then. I started when I was 13.

In any case, I've been sober in AA ever since. I'm 47 now. Sober 21 years. And, yes, I continue to go to meetings, actively sponsor (helping another alcoholic with the twelve steps of recovery, etc), still have a sponsor I call often. Just because I'm sober for a long time, doesn't mean I'm cured. It means that I am taking actions to help me not drink. That doesn't mean I still "white-knuckle" it. But, if I don't continue to do the things that helped me in the beginning of my journey with AA, I WILL drink again, I know it. I've known people with 30 years sober who quit doing those things and they got drunk. I'm not willing to take that chance.

You don't have to commit to stay sober for longer than one day. Sometimes, you may have to commit for only one minute. After a time, you won't even think about "committing" to any length, you'll just be there!

So, Call AA in your community. Get a mtg schedule. Start going to meetings. Start getting phone numbers and actually CALLING those people. Give yourself time. You are not alone. Frankly, I'm about to tear up because I KNOW from experience, at least generally, what it is like for you.
I'm crazy about being sober and happy. I'm crazy in other ways. But I'm not crazy when I tell you that AA was the best thing I've ever done, and, again, ever continued to do
You have to decide you are at least going to try this thing...in total. Really, what have you to lose??
So, I hope you will try it. It's the only thing that helped me.
Yours in sobriety!

[jh1]

Michael-
alcoholic does not mean 24/7 drinker.  I went through college, am 27 now, did the drinking on weekends (Thursday-saturday) and still got my work done during the week. It took me a long time to realize i am an alcoholic, its not the worst thing, its just admitting to yourself that you do have a problem controlling when you drink and how much.  If you really want to guage if your an alcoholic dont go to the parties-do something else and see if you still crave alcohol even when its not around.  I was just like you, trust me it gets worse. You'll start drinking by yourself down the road and going on bigger bingers than you already do. My suggestion is just like lameducks, obviously you have to drink in the party atmosphere, so take yourself out of that atmosphere and see if you can go a few weeks without drinking at all.  Go from what you learn there.

[Jacker]

An alcoholic doesn't always drink every day.  There are many aclocholics to take a few days off, although the progression gets worse with time so I guess you end up drinking every day in the end.  I don't think you want to go there though.

What is the longest period of time you've stopped drinking?  You should try to break this cycle - try to take at least 90 days off.  That may mean that you have to avoid parties during this time, in order to stay away from temptation. That's a sacrifice we often have to make when we're first getting sober.  It'll allow you to take a breather and get used to being continuously sober for a decent period of time.

I don't know whether you're al alcoholic or not, but you're headed there.  Now's a good time to get a handle on this.  I could tell you to stop drinking forever, but sometimes that's too long a period of time to contemplate.  Just set a short term goal of sobriety for now, so you can get your bearings. What's 90 days out of a whole lifetime?  I'm sure you can make it that long.  Find other fun things to do during the times that you used to drink.