Advice for quitting alcohol

[BlueSheep]

My boyfriend is 6ft, 140 pounds, and 30. He has been addicted to alcohol since before I even knew him. His family all drink to an extent especially his sister who is in jail with a DUI. They're relationship is alcohol pretty much. I never personally struggled with any addiction so I will never know his feelings about his alcoholism nor will I ever know. He struggles with quitting he has quit twice but makes the excuse to drink and then gets back on the train again of drinking. He use to drink 6 point beer I wasn't sure how much he drank until he moved in with me a year ago (from California to Oklahoma). Oklahoma beer is generally 3 point unless you go to the liquor store and is now expensive. He's a lot more use to the 3 point but he generally drinks an 12-18 pack of 24oz beer. I really want him to quit and he says he wants to also. The first time he quit I was upstairs and it got really quiet, when I heard a scream like he was falling I ran downstairs and he was having a seizure. He was completely fine when we went to the doctor. He was sobered for a couple weeks and then set back to drinking. The second time he quit I was showered and he was talking to me and he had another seizure. He was getting frustrated and angry because he was having insomnia and creepy crawlers in his skin. He got to three weeks and then started drinking again. He wants to sober up this time and his goal is 3 months sober. I really have hope for him to sober up but if he can't do it this time I really need to move out. I love him very much and he's an amazing boyfriend but I don't want to live with beer cans littering my apartment anymore. He has anxiety pills he got from his doctor at the VA. Should he take those to help him detox and sleep through it and help with the creepy crawlers in his skin he gets. I'm scared he'll have another seizure again. Please someone just give me some advice...

[TTinKKerBBell]

I stand with ibizan in Her cheer for You !!  

You are SO 'ahead of the game' - You realize Your own role in 'writing Your 'better story'.  We all have choices - You've made a good one

Regards

[ibizan]

You go girl!Life's too short to spend it with someone who refuses to live well and is bent on self-destruction!

[BlueSheep]

It's been a year since I looked at this and I wanted to update. He never quit drinking and I just packed up as much stuff I could and left him. II left him last year in March and now here I am on my own. I'm happy living in my apartment 100% addiction free and searching for someone who will write a better story with me ...

[allmymarbles]

You might want to find out if he is hypoglycemic. I have known a couple of alcoholics who were. When properly diagnosed they could recover much more easily. One way to spot a hypoglycemic alcoholic is to see if they go for the candy when on the wagon.

[BlueSheep]

He's told me the good and the bad in his service. He served in the Navy for four years then transferred into the reserves. My mom has actually told me to love back in with her if it doesn't stop. My mother has personally struggled with alcoholism when I was a younger, around 9 after my parents divorced... So she actually feels for him and offers to talk to him because she understands what it's like, but in a way she is still tryin to take care of me too. He's really sarcastic when he's drunk so he's never violent towards me. If he ever gets that way I know better and I will leave because I'm not going to tolerate that. Today is day 1 of sobering up I'm going to try and feed him some good meals and he's going to stay medicated and sleep all day ... Have lots of coconut water and Gatorade to keep his electrolytes up.

[ibizan]

You've gotten some very good advice here...my question is when you mentioned VA-did he serve in Iraq/Afghanistan?PTSD issues?

[addict3]

I would suggest that he contact his Dr. at the VA who is prescribing his medication, and get his advice and support. First off he musty really want to do this in his soul. if he is not truly dedicated to quitting he will not succeed.

Having someone to account to is a big help, be it you, a Dr., a detox center. or AA, etc. As a matter of fact, it is almost impossible without accountability.
You can't do it for him, and he can't do it for you. He has to do it for himself.

I wish you both well. He can do this if he really wants to. Good luck!

[allmymarbles]

If he has the DT's and seizures I would want to know if he has irreversible liver damage. The outlook is not great for your union. Although some alcoholics recover, most don't. I know of three alcoholic pairings. In two cases the man (the alcoholics were male in these cases) died, one in a car accident (driving drunk), and the other bled to death from a scalp wound that went unattended because he was unconscious from drink. The third male is alive and still drinking, but his girlfriend left him.

If I were your mother I would advise you to leave him. He probably has permanent damage of some kind, so whether he quits or not hardly matters at this point.

[bahamamama13165]

If he is prone to seizures, withdrawal is Very dangerous! He needs to take a couple weeks to go to a detox center. The best thing for him would be to then go to an in patient rehab. But if he is unwilling you have to get him to go to AA meetings (every day) for quite a while. He can't do it on his own. And having a goal of 3 months sober, just shows that he doesn't understand addiction. It's an all or nothing thing. Either you quit for good and get your life back or you die. It's just a matter of time before he's in jail like his sister, dead, or worse...an invalid with wet brain.