need help stopping for good this time.

[gettingclear]

I would love a piece of advice to help me stop for good this time.  I'm a 52yo male, athletic, somewhat successful but know I could have a lot more success without alcohol in my life.  Ive been going through a rough spot for the past year being separated.  My wife fell in love with another man, but also claims she still loves me.  We get together often, are very loving and intimate, then she runs off to her BF and says that relationship also needs to take its course and she wont stop seeing him, but wants to continue seeing me.  This has been going on for over a year,  and 8 months before that, behind my back.  About two weeks ago, I pulled the plug, told her I could not function in this type of relationship any longer, and said I needed to stop seeing her all together if she had to continue with this man.  This is where my drinking started to escalate.  Over the past couple of weeks, many times a week I would find myself drinking and entire 5th of gin or whiskey in a 24 hour period.  I don't know if thats normals for some alcoholics, but for me it just kept me in a type of fog, not getting much done, and definitely not  able to face my reality of my marriage head on.   I would be ok for a few days, then my wife would text me and tell me how much she loves me and misses me and how much she wants to hug me, from her BF bedroom of course, bla, bla, bla.  I cant tell if she means it, or is just trying to keep me attached to her emotionally, which of course it works.  Then I would drink again to numb out.  I need to stop cold turkey.  Both her and the alcohol I think.  Only a clear head and spiritual guidance is going to guide me through this transition.  I made a commitment today to stop cold the alcohol cold turkey.  yesterday I drank a bottle of wine and had about 4 beers last night.  woke up feeling hung and new I never wanted to feel that way again.    My best remedy for quitting has always to go on a detox.  I use the Master Cleanse where you only drink lemonade for up to a week or 10 days.  It works wonders and gets all the toxins out of your body fairly quickly, and it gives you intense energy believe it or not.  Where i'm going to need the real help is to never put another drop of alcohol in my body.  Every time I do i end up drinking TOO MUCH, then hung over, then just needing another drink the next day to get that awful feeling to go away, then the cycle begins again and months later,  Im drinking too much too early and every day.   Thanks for listening.  I know I can do this and really appreciate coming across this site of supporters.

[TTinKKerBBell]

I too, admire Your choice to get Healthy and I agree AA would be helpful and this site is helpful as well.

As for Your Wife(?), why oh why, would You let Her play You like this??!!
and
Does HE know She's cheating on HIM while She's cheating on YOU??!!

You say She calls to tell You She loves You and You don't know if She means it!!??  My suggestion:  READ THE BODY LANGUAGE - as in She's being INTIMATE with another Man who She began an affair with before You separated!!  What's not to understand!!??  How can You not know if She means it when Her behavior is so blatant??  You don't deserve to be treated this way.  You do have choices - You can CHOOSE to be treated more respectfully - isn't "respect" an emotion that goes hand in hand with Love??  I don't believe You can have the one (love) without the other(respect).

Good luck on Your endeavor to quit alcohol.

"one drink is TOO MANY"
because
"one drink is NEVER ENOUGH"

[bahamamama13165]

Good for you for making the choice to get healthy. it definitely sounds like your wife is play games with your emotions. You probably need to stay away from all that drama while your getting sober.  You should check out some AA meetings in your area. You'll meet some supportive people and I think it will help a lot. Good luck.