Personal Inquiry -BEWARE long post

[MyLifeOnDisplay]

Here’s the deal. I picked this forum because it offered the most constructive criticism out of others and did not solely include drinking sob stories with the excessive “Stop drinking or die” story lines. I have a drinking problem. This is my life on display. Please be gentle.

My father’s family has a history of alcoholism. My mother’s family history is fine in that aspect. I was raised Catholic (if that makes a difference these days) and in my house drinking was heavily looked down upon. I had my first drink at the ripe young age of 21 and had a fantastic time in college. I was a Friday night binge drinker and it usually took me Saturday and Sunday to recover from the blast I had on Fridays during the off-season. Cheap scotch was my weapon of choice and when the room was spinning I always looked forward to vomiting before bed so I could function at some point on Saturday.  That was my life for a couple of years.

On a side note, I was a full scholarship athlete to a Division 1 college after which I was a professional athlete. I am almost 7 feet tall and pushing 300 pounds so you can definitely say I am an outlier. I was an exceptional student and athlete at the highest level in college and everyone else drank heavily, so in my head everything was fine.  I excelled in school and sport even with the destructive American college drinking habit. I graduated and went pro in my field and slowly backed off the binge habit. My athletic career died as I was injured retired in the first few years of professional sport.

After exploring a few other professions, I found a good (paying) job with a beer distributor. I enjoyed beer, had a great personality and it seemed like a good fit. The problem is, now that I no longer binge on hard alcohol or the occasional wine, I have beer surrounding me 24-7. Everyone wants to have a beer with the beer guy every single day.

Another Side-Note: This is not your American ****-water type of beer. This is high quality craft beer. There is a stigma that you cannot be an alcoholic with beer. This may have applied to the pasteurized, preservative loaded; watered down macro beer of yesteryear (aka… rice and corn mixture, loaded with water and a whopping 3.8% alcohol)… but no, not today’s ale.  The beer that surrounds me happens to be full of non-pasteurized, non-preservative loaded barley and usually sits at 6 to 7 % abv.  A “single-serving” of great craft beer does not apply to the well known 12oz single-serving rule. I have found myself drinking a couple of 22oz bombers on many occasions that have 12 to 18% alcohol. I firmly believe we are breeding an unseen age of beer alcoholics. High-octane beer with great flavor and great food pair-ability is precisely what concerns me.

Although I do not need a beer every day, I drink beer and beer only maybe 3 times a week. Yet I have noticed that my few beer evenings a week have progressed to more than a few beers on weekdays and a hell of lot on the weekends. I have a kegerator to house the free beer I receive monthly and definitely do my part to drink it. My issue is the new found beer drinking has zero impact on my life outside of work and has very little effect on my personal life over the weekends.

In my head I know I should cut back but where do we draw the line? I have seen no heath issues from drinking yet am completely aware of it due to my upbringing. I tested my liver a few years back and all was fine. Is it all or nothing or is there some sort of balance? If I currently have zero health issues, when do they appear and how much is really too much? Am I too late? I am not a big fan of extreme one way or another opinions and definitely do not appreciate BS. Any insight would be appreciated. In the words of Yeats, (I) “have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.”

[ibizan]

I don't believe anyone rips anyone apart here...those of us who have sober/clean time here tell folks what they need to hear.....and they may not like it and many times don't...but the purpose is to make one think of the destruction they are inflicting upon themselves and at times others.....many told me years ago what i did not want to hear...but it was what i needed to hear...and to this day 25 years sober/clean i remember it like it was yesterday...i never want to forget!please keep us posted......we want to see u get what we have....sanity and sobriety!and when we really work on it or let go of what we cannot control..which is a lot....serenity!:)

[MyLifeOnDisplay]

I have been dreading coming back to the forum in fear of being ripped apart online. I really appreciate your helpful and constructive responses. The amount of alcohol per session has been increasing over time and I have noticed once I get going on those certain evenings I tend to not want to stop. I am going to try some of the things you have suggested and see what happens. Thank you again for the insight and I will let you know what happens.

[Jacker]

I'm not one of those who will label everyone an alcoholic just because they drink a little too much now and then.  There is, however, a natural progression if you keep doing it.  I know what you mean about the craft beers.  I used to love that stuff, and I could knock back a 6 pack of 7% IPA's like it was nothing.  It wasn't always that way though.....I started out by drinkng a few now and then and the volume just began to increase.  

I started binge drinking at a younger age than you, but I moved to drinking beer every night of the week at the age of 27.  I went 10 full years with NO ill effects.  I could wake up in the morning and hit my job hard the next day.  At some point it does catch up with you though, so why not get a handle on it now?

Can you stop for 30 days?  Just because?  Tell your customers you're going through some medical tests and alcohol will mess up the testing.  After that, can you be more controlled?  If you can successfully limit your alcohol consumption after a period of being completely "dry" then you're on the right track.  If, on the other hand, you find yourself drinking a little bit more each year, then you're on your way to some serious trouble.  The trouble still comes with beer consumption......It just takes a little longer.  

Another side note:  I've always been in good physical shape- even while drinking.  I wasn't at your level, but I did compete on college sports.  The drinking helped mask the side effects for a long time which can be both good and bad.  I don't know your age, but solve your problem while you're younger, okay?

[boogieman]

hello. is the amount of consumption the cause of your concern? alcoholism is characterized more by what happens when someone drinks or things that occur as a result of alcohol. but this is by no means a guarantee that you do not have a potential problem. alcoholism is a progressive illness that often starts out just as you have described, but always results in negative consequences once the physical craving and mental obsession kick in. and it makes no difference if you drink dom perignon or listerine, if it has alcohol in it. when you drink, do you have the ability to stop after a couple? or do you continue to excess? if you've never tried it, see if you can take 2 or 3 drinks and stop abruptly. try it more than once. this can be a good indicator of alcoholic tendencies.

another thing is that non-alcoholics generally do not become concerned about their drinking, except during hangovers. this may be something to think about as well. you stated that drinking has little effect on your personal life on weekends---what types of effects? these questions can help with understanding where you are, and what may lie ahead.     best wishes,       gm