admitting it to yourself

[charley27]

this is not a question just wanted to share my experiances with alcohol, i have always been a heavy drinker since my teens i have 4 beautiful children a lovely home and the most gorgeous man for a husband.for the past 6 years i have been an alcoholic, but although i secretly had a suspicion of this for some time  i only  finally admitted to myself my husband and family 3 days ago. i only ever was really a social drinker but always seemed to be the only paraletic and passing out at partys. this started  maybe 2- 3 nights a month, but eventually i found myself needing a drink to shake off my hangover, which i was obviously hiding from my husband.  after many episodes of this my husband then lef  me.  after 9 months of serous alcohol abuse soul searching and wondering who the hell had put me to bed, i decided that my whole family were better of without me, so i washed down  2 bottles of wine and  whole load of tablets. thankfully i had sent a text message to my loved ones which proved that it was a cry for help rather than anything else and i was taken to hospital. this was 4 years ago and i managed to stop drinking for a while which lead to my husband and i to reconsile. we went on to have our 4th child. unfortunately i developed post natal depression and my controlled drinking habits regressed back to before. i have for the last maybe 18 months drinking 20 to 30 units on a night out and probably the same the next day, i  developed b12 deficency whiched made me tired iratble and moody and of course my depression got worse. it came to a head last weekend when my husband realised that the fresh orange juice i was drinking   in the morning had probably half a bottle of vodka in it. the thought of breaking up my family again is finally, i hope of ending my relashionship with the dreaded bottle. i love my family and i love myself just hope that i can keep up this positive attitude. i have not drunk anything for 3 days and have had some dreaded withdrawral symptons, but am starting to feel much better and could not stand the thought of having  to withdraw like that again. just wanted to tell you this because you can not get help until you admit this to yourself. its never to late to try to give up, before you lose everything, as i have nearly done.alcoholism is an ilness and is nothing to be ashamed, take the first step and if you think you have a problem admit yourself and ask for help, people will be more understanding than you might expect take care x

[Jacker]

Thank you for sharing this- these types of threads can really help others here. I also took a long time before I would admit it to others.  By hiding it, I was secretly giving myself "permission" to drink again, so I always ended up back in the same place.

You were right to start admitting it to yourself and the people close to you....this is a huge step in your recovery. If you've made it to day 3, then some of the hardest symptoms are past (usually no more than 5 for the bad stuff)  I think you'll see a noticeable improvement between days 7-10.  Please be patient while your body heals, because you'll go through some mood swings over the next few months, but each month gets better.

One last thought- make sure you talk with other alcoholics now and then.  It reminds you of where you came from and what will happen if you allow yourself to fall back into it again.  I've found this to be a great help.

Thanks again for posting this, and stay strong.  

[Purbeckgirl]

Thanks very much for your share, Nicky.