sober holidays

[boogieman]

For many people, (myself included), this time of year can be especially difficult. And for those who are trying to stay sober there are often situations or circumstances that make it even harder to avoid alcohol. So I thought it would be helpful to start a post with tips on how to stay away from that first drink and make the most of this season.

here's what i came up with:

-remember that a holiday is just another day
-if you do attend any functions where alcohol will be served, make sure you have a way out by driving there yourself
-make sure there will be non-alcoholic beverages available, even if you have to bring your own
-at formal dinners, turn your wine glass upside down to indicate to wait staff you are not drinking
-when offered a drink, just say "no thanks, i'm driving" or "i'm on medication that shouldn't be mixed with alcohol" or "i'm allergic to booze---i break out in handcuffs"
-take another sober person with you and/or have phone numbers of people you can call if things get crazy
-make an appearance at the beginning of the event and leave early (before the rest of the party gets loaded)
-many areas have round the clock aa meetings at christmas and new years
-avoid old hangouts---it's likely that people you drank with are still drinking and will get you drunk before you get them sober too
-don't allow yourself to get too hungry, lonely, angry or tired
-find someone that has it worse than you do and offer to help them (once again don't go to a bar to do this)
-remind yourself of the things you have to be grateful for....and how much worse it could be if you drank

please add any other suggestions you can think of and be safe out there!  gm

[TJack]

Great posts as always.   You are so right on with your advice Boogie.  Ibi, glad you are content and lovin your animals and feeling your Dad's presence still there with you.  Bandi, you're still cracking me up.  Feels good to laugh.  Got home yesterday to a major problem with my husbands parents.  His Dad is not well, bladder removal, pretty much blind and hurting so bad in his shoulders he can hardly move.  Can't get in till Jan.18 for shots, we are getting on the phone Monday a..m  and gonna try to get that changed, either that or take him to the ER.   But, his Mom was at the hospital, thought she had a blockage in her bowel.  I went there. Ed went to his Dad with lunch.  Cat scan showed no blockage,  but what she has is cat scratch fever.  A stray she tried to befriend, as she loves animals so much.  Well this cat scratch and bit her leg and it looks awful.  That was over a month ago.  So it is her lymph nodes enlarged and he wouldn't prescribe anti biotics, just pain pills, till they get the culture back, monday or tuesday.  His Mom flies off the handle very easily and was getting ready to leave when i walked in.  I calmed her down and said, no let's stay here and find out what's wrong.
She was freezing, so i asked for a blanket.  Babied her through, just keeping her calm.
Got her home and went for her meds. and some food for them.  It is just so sad when our parents start going downhill.  But such is life.   Loved being with  my two little grand daughters for Christmas.  Santa came and they believe!  It is special.  TJ

[ibizan]

LOVE that song by Shirley Ellis...love love love it!and chestnut i remember getting out of rehab 12-22-83 and it being so difficult and seemingly boring minus that alcohol my first christmas.....my brain was so habituated to the ****...but i hung in there one hour atta time one day atta time....during holiday season i took in a lot of meeting and 12 step social functions since i qualified for both AA and NA!It takes time to retrain our brains.....and never 4get u r giving urself the greatest gift of all........sobriety sanity and u will in time come to know/feel that word serenity.I recall a time never having thought i'd ever have a life alcohol/drug free..and many thought i'd never acheive how far i have come.....and i did...suprised them...suprised myself.......and so can u!:)

[boogieman]

hi there. don't beat yourself up too badly. you're human--and you have a condition that causes you to react to alcohol as an allergy. and it's very powerful. the important thing is to keep trying. i took me a very long time to put even a few weeks together until i finally started dealing with things as i could handle them----sometimes a day at a time, sometimes five minutes at a time. and some days i still wish i could just stay asleep forever---but it eventually gets better. the principles of aa have been very instrumental in my recovery and i highly recommend them. and the really good news is you sound like you have a strong desire to stay sober which is paramount. recovery works not for those who just need it, but more importantly for those that want it. the holidays are rough for me as the majority of folks are celebrating, and for so long celebrating meant getting loaded with artificial happiness. but for me those days are over---when i drink there is no escape, no relaxation, no contentment. i stopped enjoying it long before i stopped doing it, as i kept trying to regain the feeling that booze once afforded until i was dam near dead. the other thing this time of year is that from december 26th. to january 3rd. brings with it some really bad memories of past traumatic events, so i really have to be careful. oh yeah---here's the kicker, my birthday is january 1st. of all days for an alcoholic. but if i keep doing the things i've been doing to stay sober, i'll get through it---even when it seems impossible. anyhoo, hope you hang in there and remember there are folks here and in the rooms of aa that are just like you and me and are always willing to help. take care---gm

[chesnut]

I'm finding my first Christmas without alcohol very tough this year.  Why is it called Christmas cheer ?  Is it not poison ?   Alcohol that is.  

I started my first couple weeks going without ,  not too difficult.  Then the holiday with all the references to christmas "cheer".  I'm struggling right now.  I want to live life without it.  I want all of my health back.  All of my memory back. I want to contribute the most I have to all of my relationships ,  without thinking I need to add poison to my system.  
ugh; I feel frustrated that I crave this garbage.  ugh.

[boogieman]

it's "the clapping song" recorded by shirley ellis  in 1965.

[BANDIDA]

I think I need some Depends in a real hurry!!!! I am just about piddlin my drawers reading your latest post!!! You crack me up and in a good way!!!!!!  Funny that you mention a monkey cuz last nite my Tom asked me to sing a song to him and off the top of my head I started singing the monkey song...and I do not even know who originally wrote this song...Lyrics go The line broke the monkey got choked they  and they all went to heaven in a little row boat...clapclap. Do you have any clue where that song came from???? When my son was little I used to call him my little monkey man. He was born on a sailboat and lived practically most of his life on 1.  He used to climb the rigging hence the monkey nickname!!!!  You R 2 funny and Happy Holidays!!!!!!!!!!! Luv Terry

[ibizan]

grey8t thread boogie and good tips...i've nothing to add that wouldn't be repetititious..i've had sober/clean holidays for 25 years now...sure don't miss the hangovers blackouts misspent $$$$$....the last person i partied with in 1982 at this time is now dead of AIDS.a lovely fun person who was alcoholic and too promiscuous for his own good.I love being around my animals...such loving companionship and missing my dad who will be gone 3 years 1-26....he loved the holidays. and being with us..but i feel his spirit all around me and know he is proud of my sobriety!Namaste to all of u-PEACE and joy in recovery!

[lboogie7729]

Great suggestions to deal with being sober on the holidays, especially driving yourself, bringing something to drink (my doc suggests sparkling water or sprite with a lemon wedge so no one bothers to ask "why aren't you drinking", very helpful if everyone knows you as a drunk which has been the case for me), turning your wine glass upside down, and mentioning the sober driver thing, who can argue with that? I am actually working instead of spending the holiday with my family and it is a bummer to say the least. But I am used to getting drunk and high and chain smoking to get through the event because holidays, people in general and especially my family have a tendency to make me anxious. I also agree with showing up early and just making a quick a quick appearance, good idea. Thanks for the flaming monkey story, I got a kick out of that one! That's one thing about being in the psych ward, there is no shortage of great stories!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays even though it is just another day and I'm kind of a scrooge. Lots of love to you all and try to enjoy being sober, at least you won't have a hangover tomorrow or worse, ger an DWI!

[boogieman]

ya---i can relate. the second time i was in the nuthouse, there was a guy there wearing one of those "hello my name is" stickers every day. and according to this sticker, his name was zoltan from another planet. but what landed him in the psych hospital--well you couldn't make this kind of stuff up. he was driving down the interstate and ran out of gas. so he walks to a gas station, buys a full gas can, and walks back to his car. he decides to light a cigarette as he's pouring the gas into his car, and manages to ignite the gas that had spilled on the ground in this process. he panics and looks inside the car for something to extinguish the flames and all he can find is a plush stuffed monkey like one might win at a carnival game. so he beats the fire out with the monkey but then it catches on fire as well. at this point he decides he has only one option. right about this time, a state trooper was coming down the same section of highway and guess what he sees?

a very disturbed individual on the side of the road urinating on a flaming monkey.

i can't imagine what he told the cop, but it got him an all expense paid trip to the state mental hospital. see, it could be worse!

[BANDIDA]

You are so wise and so right on trac!!! Good advice to all... I believe I helped someone to go into rehab tonight!! I know this is going to sound real KOOKY but he was thrown out of the bar he was at by a female tender who told him he was hatched out from an egg and that he was an Octopus and an alien! Right up the road from where I work there is a treatment facility called New Horizon , and I got on the phone and let them speak to him! I guarantee with that story he will be admitted!!!! He told them he had just crashed his UFO. This for real and totally TRUE!!! I also sold my Santa X-Mas hat to a guy wearing cammo shorts becuz it was a cammo Santy Klaus hat.... He Paid me $25.00 buckeroos for it!!  Best tips I have received all year!!!! Have a great holiday everyone and Best Wishes for a Great New Year!!! (((HUGS TERRY)))))

[konyha]

"-find someone that has it worse than you do and offer to help them (once again don't go to a bar to do this) "

I laughed when I read that one. I like the way you phrased it.
Very true, but funny  :)

k