happy to be here

[sograteful828]

hi everyone, i am new here, and newly sober as well. i dont have an actual question at the moment, but i did want to reach out for friends and support. i ended up in the hospital after a suicide attempt (that was alcohol induced) on August 27th. my husband had me admitted against my will. i took well to the program and learned that i am an alcoholic...after years of alcohol and drug use, i finally realized i am indeed an alcoholic. I battled my drug addiction and fight that battle every day, but choose not to use since my first baby was born last year. But i was susing alcohol more and more as a crutch, lying about it etc...but never did i think i was an alcoholic.  well, long story short, after reading while in the hospital to pass the time...lol...there was no doubt about it, my problem was right there in front of me. I chose to attend AA, I was lucky to find an awesome sponsor, i have attended at least one meeting a day since. as of today i have 37 days sober.  

i am on here to find friends that share my disease and for support to get through each LONG day. and hopefully to save a life from this horrible disease i didnt even know i had.

have a great morning...hope to chat with some of you soon :)

[sograteful828]

thanks so much for your response and warm welcome. yes, aftercare is a MUST for me. i think mine should be called "during care"..lol...i am far from the trenches but working hard one day, sometimes one minute at a time. Funny thing you said about facing your fears and demins head on, i am doing just that today, i have a court date tomorrow, in a round about way its alcohol related, and unfortunately my husband got himself in trouble trying to save my life....long story, but i have never been arrested before, and i am terrified he might not get off real easy since he has a past.  i attend my meetings every day, without fail,  i did service work there today to help pass some time, and to give back. i am so grateful to have a kicka$$ sponsor who will be going to court with us and staying with me for the day. The Serenity Prayer has been echoing in my head over and over. the positive here is i can get this over with and move on. the girl who will be in court tomorrow IS NOT the same girl who got arrested. I know it could be though if i pick up that first drink/drug!!

thanks again, i am here for friends and support, you sound like a great mixture of both!! hope to hear from you soon...diaper is clean for now....LOL

[dominosarah]

Hi and welcome to the forum.  I am sara and i am a drug addict and alcoholic.  It is so common to change addictions after we clean up from one.  After i got sober i entered the drug world real heavy.  My bottom had so many trap doors and the openings got smaller and smaller.  I knew at the end i was knocking at deaths door and had to do something about it.  I am very active in aftercare now and surround myself with people who are in recovery also.  I am so happy you are in aftercare also.  It is so important to face our demons and our fears head on.  Having the support of family is another plus.  I wish you well and Congrats on your clean time!!!  As one wise man told me awhile back......"Go with a spirit that fears nothing"          sara

[ibizan]

to So-that is so cool that u have a supportive husband...i like what RR had to offer me too as well as AA NA and SOS!there are so many ways to recover and so much material out there to help all of us if one avails themself to it!and Rod- yes we don't agree with all in AA....but what is has helped us with pales in compariosn to its disadvantages.We all take what we can use......and LEAVE the rest!

[sograteful828]

so glad you made it this far, you are an inspiration. i agree, there are some parts of AA that can be controvesial, but you said it best, for me what it has given me so far is a far cry than what alcohol and drugs ever gave me.

[rod44]

Hi, sograteful828
I found AA or at least it found me after a suicide attempt as well, I did not have the courage to go through with killing my self so I was admitted to a mental health unit as a voluntary patent, however for the first few weeks there my clothes were taken so I was in my PJs and had a nurse supervising me for 24 hours, all this hassel just to get this drunk sober....


It was suggested by my psychiatrist that I attend AA, she felt that this combined with medication to deal with my accosted depression and anxiety would be the best way forward.
After tree months in the mental health unit I went to a treatment centre for one month. Here I learned a lot about my addiction, my self and about AA.
It was however when I went home and back into the big bad world that AA really helped, the support I got from members, the feeling in the rooms of ya I can do this always inspired me to stay sober and to keep going back. There are things that I don’t agree with in AA but these pale into insignificance when I conceder what AA has given me and all that I have achieved, all I have to be grateful for today and every day of my life, a life lived sober a day,an hour or indeed a minute at a time if needs be.  
Ray

[sograteful828]

thanks guys, i appreciate your warm welcome. i need this support and to give as well while i have my down time and that "stinkin thinkin" kicks in....LOL.

Rod- I am so excited to read more from you, you bring me back to the warmth and comfort of my meetings

Ibizian-thanks again, i definitely take it one hour at a time, sometimes one minute at a time, but i am grateful to have been given a second chance and for whatever reason, I WAS READY.  thank you for making me feel useful.

one thing i just wanted to share this am is that everyone around me could see my disease, i could not. i remember telling my therapist i am a drug addict..NOT AN ALCOHOLIC...now i realize i was uneducated as to what an alcoholic is. i have something i would love anyone who is interested to read, i will put it in my journal, when i was inoatient, after slitting my wrist because i was so drunk, my husband who admitted me kicking and screaming made me read...he pointed to this saying and said to me "if you dont read this you are going to die!!!!"  you know, it saved my life. that night i went to my first AA meeting. i heard no "war stories" or anything like that, all i heard and saw was MYSELF in each and every person in that room, no matter what age, color, etc, we all had one thing in common, we are all alcoholics. i have attended ever since and made a support group i could have never had before, but i will say the most important thing, I WAS READY, you have to be. I find AA to work for me, but i am not opposed to listeneing to others who have succeeded in other ways. i find the 12 steps as a road map to life in general, to becoming a better person alcoholic or not. My husband who has 10 years sobriety went to RR, that worked for him, but he is now actively atteninding meetings again.

please dont think i am here to say any method is better or worse, i am simply sharing my story, and i know i was going to die, i wanted to die, now, i see life in a whole new way.  thanks to eveyone who read this and thank you for listening....for anyone interested i will post this saying in my journal, it is regarding 12 step programs, so only read if you are interested

thanks again

[rod44]

Hi
In AA if you stick with the winners and you will be ok.
I echo what ibizan said we need u here.....well done
Ray

[ibizan]

37 days sober and the insight u've developed is great!please keep it up one hour atta time one day atta time...we need u here.....we need more active posters who are committed to their sobriety that can help guide others with questions about their own use.

[hollygirl1972]

Hi so grateful.

Your post is inspiring to read.  I am so glad you are sober now and finding AA a help.  I think there are many people who do not realise they are alcoholics or many of us think we are not becuase we dont put vodka in our morning orange juice (that'd be me).  But if we have a problem with drink - whether it is always drinking to excess or feeling like we need a drink most days of the week - then we probably do have a problem.

I send you lots of positive thoughts.

Holly, x