do u feel u get lashed at when u say u had a drinking problem

[gwen2002]

Do u ever find that people lash out at u if u tell them u are or were an alcoholic? I post some question and I will put in the question that I began to drink after my seperation,thats how I got into alcohol.I'm not even asking anything about my drinking but I get a comment like why did u get the kids if your an alcoholic. I don't really have a question here that I am typing its more like hurt inside that I am proud of myself for putting that life behide me (my drinking life),and that I don't need comments like that.If he knew what kind of mother I was and what kind of father he was then he would not even ask.The point is that it had nothing to do with the topic.If anybody is intersted in looking to see if I am overreacting over this feel free to.You go to divorce and breakups the title is called will i ever get over the anger.I guess the main thing is that dealing with being an alcoholic is one thing,but to see it in that way upset me very much.I was not going to reply to it but I just had to.Another thing I was an alcoholic and I am proud to say that because I am saying WAS! Would love feed back on this!!!

[MJIthewriter]

I enjoyed the lax story as well. It's like that with me and computer/online games... I had to back away from those websites...

[FriaryGrad]

Your laxative story is the best one I've ever heard about trying to control a chemical reaction with will-power.  You made my day, really and truly.  :>)  

When I finally hit my point of no return and joined the fellowship of forevermore alcoholics (at age 53), my family and close friends couldn't understand why, after physically detoxing, I couldn't thereafter "just quit."  How could I be a "real" alcoholic  (they asked) since I worked full time, drove without ever getting a DUI, and had no signs they could see (although I was in constant anguish? A breakthrough of sorts came when I described how there were times, in the middle of the night, that I dug through my outside garbage can (in my so-called "upscale neighborhood" where many of my co-workers also live), trying to find bottles or cans with an ounce or two, or even a few drops of alcohol. They recognized (finally) that cravings are powerful things. If I'd known the laxative example back then, I might have spared them the image of me digging in the trash for alcohol. :>)

[boogieman]

Hello. To reiterate, i believe it's important to remember that i will always be an alcoholic just as a diabetic will always have to watch their insulin levels. My mind and body simply do not process alcohol the way those of non alcoholics do. An old timer put it to me this way: "alcohol is a chemical that acts upon the mind, body and spirit of an alcoholic in a way that can't be controlled. Willpower or moral character have nothing to do with it. By the same token, laxative medications are chemicals that act upon the body in a way that can't be controlled." He then added "take a box of ex-lax and try using your willpower to avoid going to the bathroom." For some reason, that made a lot of sense to my analytical mind. I can drink if I want, but i can never ingest alcohol in any form safely, or with any assurance that i will not suffer adverse effects.
These are the facts for me and countless others i know.

Unfortunately, there is still a great deal of social stigma attached to many human problems such addiction and mental illness. Less than 100 years ago, such persons (the ones who didn't die from their diseases) were condemned to live out their remaining lives in mental institutions that were often characterized by cruel and inhumane 'treatments'. Unfortunately, this ignorance of the true nature of such afflictions is still perpetuated today by many outside the medical community and  those without first hand experience. We are not bad people trying to become good. We are sick people trying to recover. As time goes by, you will be able to more easily discern how much information to disclose as well as develop an understanding of the reasons people display "contempt prior to investigation."

The most important thing is that you are sober TODAY and that through todays trials you will find the strength and support to be sober tomorrow. You should be proud and you will come to find in time that those that care enough about you to "do the research" will be the ones to support rather than judge. I would also recommend the writings of James. They can be applied to everyone, but especially anyone trying to overcome an adversity like alcoholism. Best wishes-gm

[FriaryGrad]

I've never gotten any kind of criticism when I told someone in my family or circle of friends that I am an alcoholic in recovery; I'm so sorry you did -- you didn't deserve to be treated that way.  Like Tjack, I don't wear an "A" on my chest, but I am not ashamed or embarrassed. Being an alcoholic is oe part of who I am, just like I'm a Mom and Mom-In-Law, a Nana, a girlfriend, an ex-wife, a daughter, a sister, and (believe it or not) a Director (for many years) at the university, which is where I work.  

My separation and divorce, accompanied by menopause -- a real trifecta of simultaneous catastrophes -- finally tipped the scales for me, so I totally relate.   I assume you got your kids because alcohol use and abuse had nothing to do with who you ARE, or loving them and wanting to raise them, right?  Or you got them because you took your problem with alcoholism seriously, but thought of the active drinking part of your disease as a temporary,but took your commitment to being a mom as a solemn covenant between you and God, when He placed your children (His children) in your care. Believe me, God knew you weren't perfect when He placed his trust in your ability to care for your children.

I hate to say anything that might sound like advice, but please think about whether or not you're beginning to feel a bit sorry for yourself. That's a disastrous emotion for an alcoholic.  Also, you said you were proud to say "I WAS an alcoholic" -- emphasis on the past tense, right??  After almost 4 years sober, I still say that  I WAS a DRINKER, but now I'm not.  I'm still an alcoholic and always will be.

If you read the Bible, read the book of James, like the AA "old timers" did (before they had the Big Book).  James says:

Trials and Temptations
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5

That's it -- Church is over.....sorry for preaching....  Marcie

[MJIthewriter]

What forum did you post on? Sadly you're going to find rude trolls in every place. You need to realize they are just that...trolls... Trolls likely are people who are bored and have nothing better to do than to see what reaction they can get by posting the most hurtful things. I don't like such rude remarke either, but thankfully I can report some of them and if they harass the autism and aspergers forum, I can zap their posts with a delete.

Focus on the comments from people who do care and want to see you get better and ignore the rest.

[ibizan]

i've been in some forums and lurked where it seems like others try to be amateur counselors and give advice they really shouldn't be giving......so if i don't want an assinine response i ignore the forum!ur in the right place for support with alcohol issues!

[TJack]

I am under the impression that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.  We can never have a drink again, NEVER.  I am sorry you have had bad feedback over your alcoholism.  I never have.  But, i don't go around wearing an A on my shirt either.  I have told many close friends who pray for me, my daughter and my AA gals.  What support i get from all of them!  I really don't know what else to say.  I just wanted to let you know i read your post and am sorry for the hurt you have gone through.  TJ