So angry when drinking

[TallGirl555]

I drink socially most weekends, this is normally fine but sometimes with no warning I completely lose my temper, always at boyfriend and I am so nasty to him, I can't believe the things I say.  This weekend I found myself getting wand up about an ex of his and I just went completely over the top, I'm so irrational but can't stop myself.  I used to have a very argumentative relationship with my ex, we used to verbally abuse each other all the time and this seems to have rubbed off on me and is now affecting my current relationship.  

My boyfriend is absolutely lovely to me and I feel terrible, I know he is very hurt and he doesn't deserve this. I hate myself for the way I just turn on him.  I know I do bottle things up until I've had a drink and then it all comes out or I go over stuff from the past.

I'd feel really embarrassed about going to counselling but I don't want to lose my boyfriend.  I cut right down on my drinking after the last time I lost my temper and I was fine until this weekend.

[VOR]

My job is to talk to people about drug prevention, much like a DARE officer in schools.  I used to be a heavy drinker, but I don't look at myself as a born again or reformed person with regards to drinking.  I just see more clearly what alcohol did to me, and can do to some people.

In all honesty, I don't see a legitimate use for drinking alcohol and I tell people this.  More problems in our society are associated with the use/abuse of alcohol and unfortunately, alcohol is so ingrained in our society, that we are unwilling to make the necessary changes.  

See how you do w/o drinking.  I think and hope you'll see a positive change, all the way around.  

[TallGirl555]

Thanks Billy :0)

[working dog]

that sounds great...not drinking at all is the best...much more healthy..good luck....billy

[TallGirl555]

Billy, I know some people who when they drink certain drinks they can be nasty but I don't think that's my problem.  I'm going to stop drinking for awhile and see what happens :0)

[working dog]

before i had a drinking problem...and once in a while if i drank jack dannels i would get really nasty to my wife...so i had to stop that...some types of alcohol would do that to me...others and i was a nice drunk...billy

[ibizan]

if ur boyfriend is a heavy drinker and u didn't mention this in ur original post just that he was a lovely person..then u and he r not good company unless u both quit 2 gether.....its not how much of how often u drink..its WHAT happens when u do drink....dig?sounds like there is a problem here...and it will worsen the longer u think there isn't one!its all up 2 u!good luck!:)

[TallGirl555]

VOR Thanks for your comments.   I don't think i am addicted to alchol as i said I don't drink everyday but then I do drink when I go out socialising.  My anger only seems to be pointed at boyfriends which is weird, I never seem to lose my temper with friends or other people.  Your right I will avoid it I think as it's not healthy.

[TallGirl555]

Your right I do need to get over myself.  Your stats are quite shocking! I don't think I have a big problem, I guess I've been drinking for years at weekend.  My boyfriend is quite a heavy drinker which doesn't help.  Thanks for the luck :0)

[VOR]

It's like when you go to the doctor and you tell him that it hurts when you move your arm a certain way.  What does he tell you?  "Don't move your arm that way".  If you have anger issues and they come out when you drink, then don't drink.  Additionally, you might want to look into counseling to see if you can pinpoint the cause(s) of your anger.

Do you think you are you addicted to alcohol?  Do you need alcohol when you go out and socialize?  Do you only get angry when you drink alcohol?  Alcohol is not to blame.  WE put alcohol in our systems.  If we know that it changes our behavior in a bad way, then we should take steps to avoid it.

Good luck.  

[jml1986]

Getting angry while drinking is not an uncommon thing. However, I would take this as a sign.  You know that drinking changes your demeanor, so it would be best to stop while you still can. If you continue, you could lose more then just your boyfriend.

[ibizan]

u need to get over urself and go to a good subastance abuse counselor and let them evaluate where u r with ur drinking!ur lucky ur guy has stood by u.....these r reliable stats....9 out of 10 men leave a woman with an alcohol problem..and 9 out of 10 women stay with a man who has a drinking problem!don't let ur denial/pride ruin u or ur relationship!good luck!