thank you for your words. Deep down I know all this, but my brain won't let me accept it. It suks but I'm going to work at trying. I wish I could just let it go, but with me its not possible. its *****!
thank you
I cut and pasted this portion of a post from our CL "nursegirl." Please read it and then go read her journal. You are in desperate need of some HIV education and she will tell you everything you need to know.
But even before you get there, I will tell you, just as she will, you were NEVER at risk.
NEVER.
Peace
Greenlydia
^Written by nursegirl^
HIV CANNOT be transmitted casually, through a hand shake, hug, by sharing glasses or utensils....none of those ways.
HIV requires a set of near perfect circumstances to allow for transmission, and it has to occur INSIDE the body, as in unprotected sex. The only way a "blood to blood" exposure would pose a threat would be in the instance of iv drug users sharing needles. This is because the blood of the infected person stays preserved inside the bore of the needle because it is not exposed to the elements...and then it is injected directly into the blood stream.
If you click on my profile, you'll see that I wrote a journal called "HIV The Facts"...I think reading that would be a good idea for you to help you better understand how the virus works.
The problem is not been able to let go and accept the truth that you are in no danger at all. Call it mild health anxiety if you would. My bet is that you will be looking for things over the next few days to feed your fears and make your story true. That is what the anxious mind does. It can go on and on and on if you let it. Until it becomes a big problem. Case of using logic and saying ' I am fine '. There is nothing worth worrying over. The worry is only making you a lot worse. Have a test done if you really think it is something bad. But once it comes back negative then accept it and see that you let yourself worry for no reason at all. And what it put you through.