Aa
i feel like im loosing my mind. i BEG of you to reply. HELP!
okay... so basically ive been lurking around the forum for some time now and i really feel like now is the time to find out whats going on. im so scared and anxious and i feel like im on the edge at all times. this is going to be pretty long but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE finish reading it and anyone who can help i will be SO appreciative... so im 21 male and ever since 8th grade i was diagnosed with ADHD and depression. my doctor at that time put me on zoloft/concerta/stratera and another medicine that was supposed to help. i took the medicine for about 2-3 years and then one day realized that i didnt need/want to take them anymore because i felt i was "normal." once i stop taking my medicine i began to self medicate myself with marijuana. For the next 2-3 years i smoked daily and very heavily. i noticed that for some reason the weed made me calm and i started doing better in school and got along better with people. so i kept at it even though i noticed i began to see things differently and was always very anxious and had several panic attacks. but i smoked through it and eventually it went away.. recently i just finished my 2-year college and got accepted to a university. To celebrate couple buddies and i decided to try extacy. i took 1.5 and then another .5 and had a great experience. However, the day after i felt empty headedd and confused and for some reason ended up with another panic attack and was rushed to the E.R. the hospital did blood and urine tests and found nothing out of the ordinary... at that time my mind was more clear and i felt decent. however the following day i the stomach flu and for the next week i was nauseus/diarreah/dizzy/weak and the whole time i was worried that it was the extacy that did it to me. i was CONVINCED that i had made my self retarded by taking those pills. Finally after about a week into the flu, i got better....... This is when things started to get scary for me.... one day as i was driving my girlfriend to a store i realized that my perception of vision changed... i looked at these bushes and for some reason it was different than how i usually seen them. this scared the sh!t out of me and i went home right away and started googling my symptoms... what i found was depersonalization/derealization and i believe that i have that.... i started to feel scared and cold...from that day on.. i QUIT SMOKING WEED AND DRINKING. in the beginning i thought that it could be the withdrawal symptoms of marijuana but it still hasnt gotten better and its been 3 week. For the next 2 weeks i had panic attacks (controllable) through out the day. s. i would start breathing extremely fast/sweat profusely/was unable to swallow my spit/got chills and heat flashes/ and had the WORSE sense of ultimate DOOM i felt i was going CRAZY, INSANE, LOCO! .... i googled those symptoms and thought that i had panic disorder or GAD but i didnt fit all the symptoms... eventually i got around to going back to the doctor (psychiatrist) and he told me he thought that it was just my depression and my anxiety kicking back in. he suspected maybe it was symptoms of bipolar but no one in my family has that... i dont hear voices, see hallicination, think people are after me... so the doctor put me on 50mg zoloft and 25mg seroquel. First night with seroquel i had the CRAZIEST dreams as if i was awake in them but the whole time i was knocked out!!!.... then second day i felt like i was on extacy... i felt my eyes were wide open/griding my teeth/ dry mouth/ hard time swallowing my spit/ and my feet/hands sweat SOOOO much and i have this wierd taste in my mouth everytime i breathe out. 3rd day... which is today, i woke up feeling fine... and was googling side effects of the medicine and found so many negative effects and started to freak out...ive been feeling like a zombie, like my brain is dead and that i was just born today... the past is a blur and i see no future for myself only doom and life in a mental hospital.... i dont feel so much depersonalized as just weird now and whenever i look around things arnt 2-D but it seems hazy and feels like im still stuck in a dream that i cant get out of....please i know this was long but someone please help me and let me know whats going on.. im terrified and if this goes on... i rather just jump off a building than live like this... im starting to not trust my doctor and i second guess every move i take.. please.. thank you for any comments...
- Scared to go Crazy
- Scared to go Crazy
also... the zoloft or seroquel (not sure which one ) makes me so irritable. i snap at my girlfriend and family and feel like just screaming into a pillow or punching holes in the walls because im so frustrated im not getting better. i heard that you should wake 1-2 weeks before feeling "normal" again but i dont know if maybe my body is just weird. i feel like when i was off the meds i had a better sense of life.. and now my brain just feels DEAD to emotions... i cant even cry when i want to... please im just so scared....
oh yea.. dont know if i mentioned it.. but my anxiety feel like its even worse after i take the meds.. i feel like at any second im going to wake up.. but i dont... cuz its real and my heart feels like its going to jump out of my chest and the bottom of my stomach burns a lil...
The first 1-2 weeks on a new med can be WORSE than the symptoms you are trying to suppress. It's usually only after 4-5 weeks that the meds will actually feel like they are "working". If you can manage the initial side-effects than stick with it for a few more weeks before you decide that it isn't working.
^^ thanks amish... also my eye sight seems weird. not blurry but weird.. hard to explain but its when im wearing my glasses... i see the frame and my eyes feel like they cant focus on one thing too long unless its when im zoning out... any comments would be appreciated!!! im sitting in front of the computer... waiting. pathetic i know
I have/had something like this. It's kind a tunnel-vision that one would get in a dangerous (fight-or-flight) situation. Unfortunately our oversensitized brains now think they are in a dangerous situation AT ALL TIMES so now you have the tunnel-vision. I've had it pretty much constantly for a while. It gets better as I get better, meaning I either don't notice it as often any more or it actually really isn't there as often any more.
Basically you are in permanent fight-or-flight and you need to find ways to relax.
**Of course that's just my opinion on what you are experiencing. That's what it was for me, may not hold true for you.
Basically you are in permanent fight-or-flight and you need to find ways to relax.
**Of course that's just my opinion on what you are experiencing. That's what it was for me, may not hold true for you.
wow.. i really hope that is whats going on.. also i noticed when im alone.. it gets worse, when im out, its okay, but if im out too late ( pass 1-2 am ) i get the depersonalizaed feeling... also i noticed when i talk to people it helps a LOT too. after i talk to people or hear about how they got better i feel hopeful again and it gives me a positive happy charge
i dont know if it was the extacy that set it off... but i think that the THOUGHT of extacy messing up my brain couldve trigged it to where im scared im permanently damaged.. because i notice when i talk to my friends about the experience and/or other drug experiences (marijuana) i get all anxious and edgy again. BTW ( ive NEVER done coke,heroin,LSD,speed, etc etc ,) just a lotta kush and my pill count is 3 TOTAL. and im never doing **** AGAIN. i even stop drinking beers on social occasions... im hoping its partially marijuana withdrawal.....
I would stay in close contact with my doctor and make sure you describe every little thing that has happened like you did in this forum. You have a lot going on right now, going off of pot after that many years of smoking daily isn't going to be pleasant, you are going to have some symptoms and three weeks isn't the end all wait a couple more until you get the full picture. Find a way to relax, meditate or something. I don't think you are in a permanent state from the extececy. I have felt that way before in high school when I did LSD but it went away. Just remember to breath. Keep taking your meds, stay in CLOSE contact with your doctor and wait out the withdrawals of the weed. This is just my advice, hang in their man you will be fine.
kk i did extacy once and was sik it really screwed my head up i did LSD too im talkin many moons ago but drugs really screw u up especially if you have that tendancy to have anxiety so like u said never touch drugs again its a million times saferi think they are the root of my problem but i was young and crazy......if only i could turn back time
take care hun x
take care hun x
thanks so much guys... i really really really appreciate you guys taking your time to try to make me feel better... this tunnel-vision is scary tho. i feel like im trapped in my body and am trying to wake up from a dream... but its not... like i AM going to wake up but in a sense as in waking up into insanity or something... im SO happy i found this website and i am going to dedicate a lot more time to this website... any comments are ALWAYS appreciated....
also... has anyone tried the combo zoloft and seroquel? did it make yo u feel even crazier? and also like trapped in your body.. zoned out... slow....? and does it go away after couple weeks of usage?
Hi there...I'm glad you are here. I think you will quickly see that you are far from alone...that MANY of us have struggled/are struggling with the exact same things.
The depersonalization/derealization symptoms are VERY upsetting and maddening. I've been there...and I know how it feels. You want to smack your forhead to make everything go back to normal. When you get a sec...read my journals about these exact issues...I think it will help give you some perspective.
I'll be back with some more words...but I wanted to at least tell you the above.
Hang in there....we're all here for you...and you are not crazy, even though I know you feel like you are.
The depersonalization/derealization symptoms are VERY upsetting and maddening. I've been there...and I know how it feels. You want to smack your forhead to make everything go back to normal. When you get a sec...read my journals about these exact issues...I think it will help give you some perspective.
I'll be back with some more words...but I wanted to at least tell you the above.
Hang in there....we're all here for you...and you are not crazy, even though I know you feel like you are.
I think almost any SSRI can cause the weird eyes. They all did for me.( Doctors act like they have never heard of such a thing.) Zoloft takes about a month to really start to help. SSRI's can cause anxiety as a side effect but it usually goes away. I ended up taking klonopin with Effexor to control the panic attacks and anxiety. The combo worked great. I had some sleep issues too and the klonopin tooK care of that too. A short term benzo may help until the Zoloft really kicks in. You'll probably feel better in a couple of weeks. Good luck.
i took the x about a month ago... and yea i really hope this goes away.. the depersonalization seems a little bit better when i was on the seroquel but now i feel like i have no emotions... im really glad to here that most SSRI can cause the weird eyes... nursegirl.. thank you so much i will reading your journal entries and i will be starting one of my own... honestly ... its such a reality chek to me... because i never thot it could happen to me... its that mentality... but now it has and im trying to hard to deal with it and its tough because my parents dont understand because i am acting normal and my girl friend has communication problems... and my shrink...heh lets just say he could care less it seems. im now looking for a new doctor but i think imma try to stick with the meds... one thing that really scares me is... could taking zoloft and seroquel mess me up PERMANENTLY? ive been reading up on other peoples side effect on the meds on google and some of them seem pretty scary.....
I've never heard of these drugs messing anyone up permanetly. They just produce seratonin I thought. I don't know
I've had vision affects from SSRI's particularly when going off them but quite feasible it would happen when starting them. I describe it like when you move your head your vision doesn't catch up immediately, it's a split second coming right. Particularly bad when you push open plate glass doors.
The dreams should settle down too.
The dreams should settle down too.
okay guys i really need your help on this one because this got me SCARED. sooo today i went to my girls graduation and everything was fine ( it was really hot tho ) i was walking up the bleachers to the very top so that i could hold up signs when all of a sudden BAM! i felt like this doom feeling just settling over me... i felt like i was breathing out chemicals and my whole body was just sweating and i felt like i was going to pass out... the most important part was the hot burning breath that came up... as i felt woozier the burning became stronger till i almost passed out. right away i went down to ground level and that made me feel MUCH better... however throughout the whole cermony my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest and i felt like i was going to pass out any second. also i felt really irritated and just not comfortable at all. a lil nausea but nothing too bad but its this taste that i still have in my mouth... any body experience this?? or have anything to say??
oh yea.. im also getting a lil muscle pains and my lower back was KILLING me and i got dizzy when i stood up fast... i didnt eat that whole day and it was like 6 o clock ish... could that have anything to do with it?? anyone plz help cuz im scared sh!tless....
yea and i dont know why... but i got this NASTY taste in my mouth at all times now.. ewwww... anyone know whats going on?... and oh yea... after the ceromony when i was with my friends and then at night when i went home everything was fine... no depersonalization, no anxiety no worries... just sweaty palms....and teeth still clattering and grinding... im going to buy a rubber mouth guard tomorrow....
welcome to the world of panic and anxiety!!!! i really think if this carries on you need to go back and see your doctor dont let it ruin your life catch it early. maybe some therapy would be good for you
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Anxiety Community
Find out what can trigger a panic attack – and what to do if you have one.
A guide to 10 common phobias.
Take control of tension today.
These simple pick-me-ups squash stress.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
Want to wake up rested and refreshed?
