INTENSE anxiety when meeting guys!

[melmel4ever]

Whenever I'm around them or friends r trying to hook me up with one of their guy friends, I can't help but feel extremely nervous. It's Horton so bad that I want to cry cuz I'm so nervous. I'm 21 and I've never had a boyfriend. I would truly like to have a guy in my life but I'm scared. When I was growing up boys used to make fun of me non stop...to the point where I'd just flee away if I ever see a group of guys in the hall. Most guys would think I'm a joke and that I'm so ugly. That was in middle school and it was about twenty boys that laughed together when they said those as I walked by. I don't have ANY confidence at all know even in college. What do I do?! It doesn't help that I'm not at all pretty either.

[ThePinkFloyd]

I did not mean it like this. I guess I can't really catch up with humor these days because of my situation...so maby its me..I am not in my best mood :/

[Paxiled]

I was just being funny.  Guess I failed.

[ThePinkFloyd]

Noo.I am saying that children can be very cruel to other children.When we grow up we learn how to stand for ourselfsand of course boys learn how to treat other people.This is very generalised I know that in real life there lots of exceptions.What I was trying to say Is that its not allways going ti be like that,things are going to change for her in a better way she just have to wait and hold on to herself.

[Paxiled]

And are you saying boys stop being cruel when they're not young?  I'd say life proves that humans never really grow up, they just get older.

[ThePinkFloyd]

Boys can be really cruel when they are young.They do it because they want to proove to each other who is the ''boss''.You should know that EVERYONE on this earth feells unsecure and particularly those who are trying to look so cool.Dont ever let anyone concince you about your quality.It seems that you have a problem with your confidence.You can see a therapist and he or she will help you built your confidence and live your life.He can direct you to the right thoughts.My advice...dont ever let anyone make you think that you are ugly or anything else..everyone on this earth has a place and a value.You can be the most beatifull and kind and intelligent person alive..but you have to want it.Good luck! :)

[melmel4ever]

Thanks, that is true.

[Paxiled]

Young guys make fun of girls because they're afraid of them.  Turns the tables, doesn't it?  To a guy the girl has all the power because of the effects of testosterone, and to a girl the guy has all the power because he's usually a lot bigger and stronger.  So everyone is afraid of everyone.  You just have to go for it anyway, that's what everyone else does.  You are not alone.  

[melmel4ever]

*I'm sorry* or suddenly he'll make fun of me.

[melmel4ever]

I forgot to also mention, when I used to gets de of when I was little by groups of boys- over the years (if) a guy just talks to me or even (maybe) a hint of flirting, I become kinda cold. Not mean just like I put up a wall in case the guy is just suddenly going to change his mind about me and susenly