I am a 21 year old girl, and about a year ago, I did MDMA for about the 5th time in my life and experinced something very scary and strange that made me never want to do it again.
That night as I was dancing and enjoying my night, suddenly I started getting these "electric shock-like" sensations in the back of my head, and everytime I would feel them, I'd feel detached from my body. Each episode lasted for 2-3 seconds and after a couple of times it stopped. Eventhough they scared me a lot, but since I was high I didn't pay much attention to them.
After about 2-3 weeks after that night, I smoked weed with a friend and as I was about to eat something, I got that sensation again. This time I was not as high as the first time so I fully realized how scary that was. I was sitting and about to put the spoon in my mouth when this shocking sensation in my head striked again and I felt completely numb and detached for 2-3 seconds and when it stopped I could not believe how scared I was.
It has been a year since that happened and ever since I've been living in fear of it happening again. I've been through many health problems ever since then, like panic attacks, anxiety, balance problems,vertigoes, ear problems, nausea, numbness and tingling in hands or feet, getting severe butterflies before sleeping, sleep paralysis, muscle spasms... (I quit weed and MDMA completely after that incident).
My question is, what could that be? Is it something that could happen again out of nowhere? My life has not been the same ever since and I really need to get to the bottom of this.
For many of us on psychotropic medication, such as benzodiazepines and antidepressants, will experience "brain zaps" usually when we have been on the med a long time or when we are going through a taper to get off.
I'm not sure that anyone really understands what causes them, but apparently they don't kill us or we'd be dropping like flies.
If you have not experienced one of these episodes in over a year, I'd say that whatever it was, was transient and is gone. I can't tell you for sure if it was related to the ecstasy or weed, but I think you made the right choice to stop using.
Because you made it very clear how terrifying these feelings were, how you are suffering a great deal of fear, not only about what did happen, but fear that it may happen again, I think you have developed a full blown anxiety disorder. That fear of it happening again is commonly known as "anticipatory anxiety," one of the telltale signs of anxiety.
Since you have been fighting this for over a year, I would advise you to see your doctor for a thorough physical to rule out any organic reason for these symptoms and then a long and honest discussion of your past drug use, the brain shocks and your anxiety. He/she may put you on some anitanxiety meds, perhaps an antidepressant..........but more importantly I think you should request to be refered to a therapist well versed in anxiety disorders. You've suffered long enough, and if you don't take care of this now, I can promise you it will only get worse.........and much, much more difficult to deal with.
You'll be fine. You didn't do any permanent damage to your brain. What you DID do was scare the crap out of yourself, got yourself a dose of anxiety and took one more big step towards being an adult. It's all good.
See your doctor, K?
Peace
Greenlydia