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HIV Anxiety

Please help me!
I have a major problem with anxiety.
My situation....
I went clubbing on Saturday night. Got drunk. A slutty tranny came up to me and we ended up ******* on the roof of the club. Basically I ****** him in the *** using a condom.
Now I have called the HIV hotline, posted on HIV forum, and called doctors. ALL TELLING ME THAT I HAD NO RISK!!! (protection = no risk). In total, I have talked to about 15 professionals, and they don't recommend testing and said that if they were in my situation, they would simply move on.
For some freaking reason I can't seem to absorb these facts....I keep telling myself..."what if"
and I can't believe that someone is able to move on in a situation like mine.
Please someone, if you can relate, please shine some light on my crappy situation.
My steps so far are....
1. Staying off this f***ing internet on HIV topics.
2. Occupying myself with something else.
But unfortunately as with all anxiety, it comes back, and it comes back hard!
PLEASE HELP!  
Am I feeling like this also due to the nature of my incident? Which I believe will leave me scarred for life. I'm having a real hard time believing that I would do something like this and I'm in a world of regret.
Kinda like Pvt. Pyle in Full Metal Jacket...."I AM IN A WORLD OF SH*T"!
1 Responses
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370181 tn?1595629445
You have been told by many professionals that you were never at risk and that is THE TRUTH!

UNPROTECTED anal sex IS one of the three ways you can contract HIV.

You had PROTECTED sex. NO RISK!

It is my guess that you have been booted off the HIV Forum here for continuing to ask all those "what if" questions. Since you cannot accept the FACT that you were never at risk, the next step for you is to seek therapy for your anxiety which is very common, and you can also, during therapy, discuss your fears of being "permanently scared" from this experience.  

Read the journal that "nursegirl" put together here on the forum and I'm sure that will ease your mind a very great deal. There you find the facts about HIV and not all the misinformation that abounds on the Net.
Peace
Greenlydia
Helpful - 0
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370181 tn?1595629445
Arlington, WA
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