Aa
I lost myself
I don't really know how to put this so you can understand it, but here's my trouble-story. First of all, I had a great time in 2007, it was the best time of my life, parties, girls, everything, pure happiness. I even visited 6 different countries in just three months. Then, during the summer, everything changed. My favourite club closed, I broke up with my girlfriend, my work efficiency dropped to almost 0% and it seems to me that everything I do, just makes things worse. I thought, life has its ups and downs, it can't be perfect all the time. I waited patiently, but nothing changed. I tried everything, spent money trying to find happiness, but it just won't work. I quit my job just to get myself straight. I'm still very young (27), but in the morning I feel that it would be better to die than do live another pointless day. The New Year didn't bring any good news, it only made things worse. I'm desperate, I can't find a single girlfriend that I like, I can't have a good time when I go out, I'm depressed when I'm at home, my mood changes before I even notice it. Could anyone please help me out of this mess? I just want to live a normal life and be happy.
At the end of the day, the only one who can get you out of this mess is ... guess who...
Right -YOU.
But we're here to help. There are some key words in yiur narrative, these: "I waited patiently, but nothing changed."
YOU were waiting for THINGS to change? Sometimes that works. It's like the bus; miss this one -don't worry, another one will come along.
Then again, the time spent waiting for something else to happen is time you could be using to MAKE things happen.
Pretend, for a moment, that there are no clubs, girls, concerts, job - or anything, really, that comes TO you from somewhere else. There is just YOU. Pretend you have no stereo system, no car, no cell phone, not even a PC. Pretend you live in a cozy cabin in the middle of the woods and that your nearest neighbor is 1/2 mile away. You wake up in the morning and find youself in this pleseant, tranguil and not very exciting situation. Just for the heck of it, also pretend that by merely wishing for something, it would happen. But, you get only one wish -and it is forever.
What would you wish for?
I'm not trying to tease you here -really I'm not. (And you don't have to answer with your "wish"). What I am suggesting to you is that -at age 27- perhaps you are becoming aware that life is moving along, with or without you, and you need to be initiating change rather than "catching a wave." One way or another, this happens to all of us, and the sense that we haven't really yet figured out our "fit," with everything can be very unnerving.
So, I'll just toss that out to you. Give it some thought -and please let us know what you think.
I'm glad you came here.
Right -YOU.
But we're here to help. There are some key words in yiur narrative, these: "I waited patiently, but nothing changed."
YOU were waiting for THINGS to change? Sometimes that works. It's like the bus; miss this one -don't worry, another one will come along.
Then again, the time spent waiting for something else to happen is time you could be using to MAKE things happen.
Pretend, for a moment, that there are no clubs, girls, concerts, job - or anything, really, that comes TO you from somewhere else. There is just YOU. Pretend you have no stereo system, no car, no cell phone, not even a PC. Pretend you live in a cozy cabin in the middle of the woods and that your nearest neighbor is 1/2 mile away. You wake up in the morning and find youself in this pleseant, tranguil and not very exciting situation. Just for the heck of it, also pretend that by merely wishing for something, it would happen. But, you get only one wish -and it is forever.
What would you wish for?
I'm not trying to tease you here -really I'm not. (And you don't have to answer with your "wish"). What I am suggesting to you is that -at age 27- perhaps you are becoming aware that life is moving along, with or without you, and you need to be initiating change rather than "catching a wave." One way or another, this happens to all of us, and the sense that we haven't really yet figured out our "fit," with everything can be very unnerving.
So, I'll just toss that out to you. Give it some thought -and please let us know what you think.
I'm glad you came here.
True, I feel like everything is moving along while I'm stuck and can't go back to the past or into the future. Honestly, my wish would be to have some nice girlfriend to talk with, someone who could understand me, thats if I'm in a good mood, if I'm in a bad mood, I'd probably just wish to die and bring this to an end.
I forgot to say that I'm also very uneasy when it comes to decision-making. Its like you know the right answer, but there is always that little voice in your head telling you that you're wrong.
I had a few similar advices, that I'm the one that should "fix" myself, but I just don't know how. Every effort I make is useless and ussually makes things worse. On the other hand, a lot of people just tell me it will pass, like its just bad weather. I like the first "idea", as I was always a leadership-oriented type of guy, but I lost that something that drives me. I lack motivation in doing anything, I wake up just waiting to get back to bed again and go for another day.
I'm also having less sleep every night. I'm down to 4-5 hours of sleep every day. At first it was just headaches and lack of concentration, but now I'm also experiencing dizziness and I'm feeling like drunk all the time (even though I quit drinking two years ago).
I'm really thankful that you replied, though I must be honest and confess that I'm very skeptical about everything, I'm almost completely sure that nothing can help me, yet I keep hoping for something, I don't even know what it is, that would get me out.
I forgot to say that I'm also very uneasy when it comes to decision-making. Its like you know the right answer, but there is always that little voice in your head telling you that you're wrong.
I had a few similar advices, that I'm the one that should "fix" myself, but I just don't know how. Every effort I make is useless and ussually makes things worse. On the other hand, a lot of people just tell me it will pass, like its just bad weather. I like the first "idea", as I was always a leadership-oriented type of guy, but I lost that something that drives me. I lack motivation in doing anything, I wake up just waiting to get back to bed again and go for another day.
I'm also having less sleep every night. I'm down to 4-5 hours of sleep every day. At first it was just headaches and lack of concentration, but now I'm also experiencing dizziness and I'm feeling like drunk all the time (even though I quit drinking two years ago).
I'm really thankful that you replied, though I must be honest and confess that I'm very skeptical about everything, I'm almost completely sure that nothing can help me, yet I keep hoping for something, I don't even know what it is, that would get me out.
Sounds to me like you were living a pretty good life and then things went sour. Join the club! Our fearless leader, Mr.Geare, hit several nails on the head. At 27, perhaps for the first time in your life, you have found that all the things you apparently covet are no longer just falling into your lap. That life moves on with, or without us, is fact. The bus DOES leave. But if you are just going to wait around for "that girl" or "that job" or the next "club to open," then you are heading for more trouble than you've already created for yourself. You say you waited patiently, but nothing changed. What did YOU do to facilitate this change? I needed money. I too, waited patiently.........to win the lottery. For the checks to arrive in the mail. For the rich relative to die and leave me a fortune. To find that suitcase full of cash on the side of the road. Guess what? None of those things happened. It wasn't until I took action and got a second job that the money showed up.
When you say you'd like to have a girlfriend you could talk to as long as you were in a good mood, otherwise you'd just as soon die and get it over with...........I find this to be a very frightening statement. You said you were depressed and you asked if anyone could help you out of this mess. Of course there is! And as the learned Mr.Geare so perfectly put it, it's YOU! Since you said you had some difficulty making decisions lately, I'll help you out with this one. Get to your doctor as soon as possible and tell him exactly what you've shared with us. In my humble opinion you are going thru a life crisis that the vast majority of us go thru, and like a vast majority of us, you need some help. Which is nothing to be ashamed of. It really does amaze me that if we have a toothache, we race to the dentist. If we have trouble reading, we run to the eye doctor. If our dog is hurt, it's off to the vets........but when it comes to finding that our life seems to be stuck in neutral, we avoid seeking any help whatsoever! In my huble opinion, I believe you are suffering from depression and need to talk to someone professionally and perhaps get on some meds for a short time until you stop "spinning out on this curve!"
You want your old life back, or one better, you gotta get off your butt and go find it.
Keep us posted because we really do care because we really do know what you're going through.
Peace
Greenlydia
When you say you'd like to have a girlfriend you could talk to as long as you were in a good mood, otherwise you'd just as soon die and get it over with...........I find this to be a very frightening statement. You said you were depressed and you asked if anyone could help you out of this mess. Of course there is! And as the learned Mr.Geare so perfectly put it, it's YOU! Since you said you had some difficulty making decisions lately, I'll help you out with this one. Get to your doctor as soon as possible and tell him exactly what you've shared with us. In my humble opinion you are going thru a life crisis that the vast majority of us go thru, and like a vast majority of us, you need some help. Which is nothing to be ashamed of. It really does amaze me that if we have a toothache, we race to the dentist. If we have trouble reading, we run to the eye doctor. If our dog is hurt, it's off to the vets........but when it comes to finding that our life seems to be stuck in neutral, we avoid seeking any help whatsoever! In my huble opinion, I believe you are suffering from depression and need to talk to someone professionally and perhaps get on some meds for a short time until you stop "spinning out on this curve!"
You want your old life back, or one better, you gotta get off your butt and go find it.
Keep us posted because we really do care because we really do know what you're going through.
Peace
Greenlydia
I am the same age and lived a similar life. I think that as you get older you look for different things to make your life "full." Going out alot and having alot of girlfriends was great when I was in my early 20s but now I find that being with close friends is better. It sounds like you have relaized your life has been somewhat shallow up to this point and its time to move on and grow up. I would suggest looking for hobbies. That may sound lame but I picked up a guitar at 25 and now play and sing with many like minded people in my city. But the main thing that other people hit on, is that you need to make this change for yourself and find a way to be honsest w/ yourself so you know what you really want out of life. Try out doing some charity work or working with people who are disabled. This will give you a real realality check as to how good you have it. All the best!
-Caleb
Also, it does sound like depresion and if you feel like life is not worth living you should seek out professional help, life has so much to offer and we're just starting.
-Caleb
Also, it does sound like depresion and if you feel like life is not worth living you should seek out professional help, life has so much to offer and we're just starting.
I decided to change a few things, now I'm running a few laps every morning or afternoon, just to get rid of my aggressive attitude when I'm bored (not really aggressive, but I don't know how to describe it). A few things improved since my last post, I'm working again, part-time, but at least I'm not bored.
I'm still having problems with "sadness attacks" as I call them (moments when I feel completely useless) and consuming too much sugar, mostly cocacola & chocolate. I'm not over-weight though, on the contrary, I'm quite thin.
I must admit that I have no idea what I want from my life still. I'll just try to find a hobby or something to fill my time and stop thinking about bad things. At the moment I made a schedule, on workdays I do my work and then watch movies till I'm tired enough to go sleep (I used to listen to music a lot, but it makes me more depressed or angry). During weekends, I just go shopping or running during daytime and at night I go out to some calm place and eat, talk... No more parties until I'm 100% sure that I won't get frustrated during party time.
Thats about it now, I'm trying as hard as I can to fix everything I can, its just that "luck aint on my side".
I'm still having problems with "sadness attacks" as I call them (moments when I feel completely useless) and consuming too much sugar, mostly cocacola & chocolate. I'm not over-weight though, on the contrary, I'm quite thin.
I must admit that I have no idea what I want from my life still. I'll just try to find a hobby or something to fill my time and stop thinking about bad things. At the moment I made a schedule, on workdays I do my work and then watch movies till I'm tired enough to go sleep (I used to listen to music a lot, but it makes me more depressed or angry). During weekends, I just go shopping or running during daytime and at night I go out to some calm place and eat, talk... No more parties until I'm 100% sure that I won't get frustrated during party time.
Thats about it now, I'm trying as hard as I can to fix everything I can, its just that "luck aint on my side".
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