Is it possible to have HIV - phobia and OCD?

[Zuczek]

Hey all!
I think I may have OCD and HIV/AIDS - phobia, that don’t let me live my life normally. It started back in Jan 2015. I had sex (my first time) with a boy I didn’t know very well. We used condoms, not a single one broke, but I do regret that that act. It was stupid. Later in March 2015 I met an awesome guy, (we’ve been together for 2,5 years now.) Back in August 2015 I had HIV test. The result was negative.

We started to have sex (first protected then I started taking pills in Jan 2016) He got tested for HIV when he started his job in 2014 (negative), but he likes martial arts and sometimes there’s blood-blood contact. I know that fighting is considered low/no risk. He hadn’t have any sexual encounter before me. I still had another HIV test in June 2016. It was negative.

But then in December 2016 it all came back to me, the fear of HIV/AIDS. Even though I have had two tests, for some reason I do not feel 100% sure. I have also developed an OCD. I check 5 times if I turned off everything , or if everything is not plugged in. I can go back and check if the door is locked even as I know I locked it for sure.

Do I really have an HIV/AIDS phobia? Will testing for HIV again help? How can I deal with that OCD and phobia? It doesn’t let me sleep and think. Can my first time (I consider it a mistake) have such impact on my psychic? Can  HIV phobia be connected with my OCD?

Thanks in advance.

[specialmom]

When you have constant fear, obsession, ruminating about something that impacts your daily life to the point you can't sleep, have trouble functioning, spend money on needless tests and can't have a normal sex life, it is time to act on it.  Hiv is hard to get but that kind of reassurance does nothing for you due to your phobia and thought patterns.  This should be addressed in my opinion by a professional.  Your doctor may have suggestions for you for who you can see that specializes in OCD/Anxiety/Phobias.  Talk therapy is something also very helpful for working through things.  You want to live a life in which you aren't afraid of unrealistic things.  Now, some people do take risks and have HIV fears after.  They need to change their lifestyle choices.  But if you practice safe sex---  and are told your activities are not risks for HIV, then hopefully with treatment, you can begin to let go of this fear and go on with life.  I'm guessing you have anxiety and obsessive thoughts about other things in life too and it is not just HIV.  But that is the current focus.  good luck

[Hipokondriyak]

I also have obsessive thoughts and fear of hiv. I dont engage in unprotected sex but I believe it can pass through almost anything like a cigarette burn and I look for symptoms all the time. It affects my daily life, I cant sleep when obsessive thoughts appear. So I think the best is to see a psychiatrist.

[Paxiled]

I don't agree.  Sometimes it is necessary to use medication, but if it's not, that's better, no?  So depending on how severe the disability to your life is, it's often best to start by seeing a psychologist for therapy before you look for those not so magic pills.  When they're necessary, they're necessary, but if they're not, that's better.

[specialmom]

I agree with you hipkondriyak that at this point, it is affecting your daily life to the point of obsession and not sleeping, it is an appropriate choice to go to a psychiatrist but also seeing a psychologist to do talk therapy will be very helpful.  

[Paxiled]

When you have an phobia problem it really doesn't matter what your anxiety happens to fixate on -- for some it's going over bridges, for others it's flying on planes, for you it's HIV, for some it's almost everything.  If you're anxiety is causing this much difficulty it's long past time to see a psychologist who specializes in anxiety treatment to see if there's an underlying reason for this and to change the way you're thinking.  If it becomes crippling, your psychologist will recommend you see a psychiatrist for medication help.  Good luck.  

[AnxiousNoMore]

HIV is instantly inactivated in air so only risks are shared needles you inject with or not using a condom for penetrating anal or vaginal. You didn't need to test since you used a condom.

Fighting is no risk for HIV, not low risk. Otherwise everyone in America would have it from variations of unintentional cuts that caused mixing of other people's blood with their own - think of all the cuts children get while they play with others who have cuts but it is all no risk for HIV and no children get it.
So possibly all of your fear of HIV results from not previously knowing any of the above info. Now that you have the info, try to accept the 40 year old science, and see if you can relax.
If you can't relax now, you can do what paxiled said about seeing a psychologist to work it out.