Some things I go through can anyone relate?

[mandapanda928]

I think most of us just want to know that we are not a lone.
When things go good they go really good , but I always have bad dreams that try to ruin things, finally I started having good dreams. SO lately I've been doing really good. It almost feels like dreams sometimes try to tear me away from feeling happy. But i made sure to push myself through it. And for the past week or so I've been doing good No suicidal thoughts. When I get in a fight with someone that I love I instantly feel suicidal and an intense amount of guilt, pressure, and loneliness. I am a panic of a person and I worry a lot i not only take on my problems, worry, and stressors but I also take on everyone else s sometimes without even knowing it. This causes me to get even worse. Anything as simple as a fight with my boyfriend can make me feel like my entire world is going to end. I get depressed, and hurt , but each time i threaten to leave I end up staying . I don't know if it's because I'm scared to leave him and feel a lone or if I'm more scared of going back to my moms house where every single bad memory has happened. I'm fine right now , but tomorrow could end up being bad or the next day, and then things just go down hill I need help, advice, anything. I have borderline personality disorder, but I'm trying not to use labels anymore because it just makes me feel worse. PLEASE HELP.

[mandapanda928]

Thankyou both! (wandering_child)

I've been trying really hard lately I'm glad that you are doing good as well! That's how I am too any little thing can stress me out and then i feel almost out of control of everything. It's horrible. Too bad that they don't really have any medication that can help us with our moods. I don't understand why it's the only illness that doesn't have hard core treatment. But hopefully just figuring out how to love ourselves and be a lot more stress free will help us. <3


(Sagittarius88)

The bad memories at my moms house are pretty bad. Her husband is an x meth addict, he came home one night and tried to strangle both me and my mom. That's not the only incident I've seen him and my mom go at each other. I've never felt protected in my moms care every boyfriend she's ever had has put her hands on me. In a physically abusive way. Theres also a lot of pressure on me to take care of my sister who is 4 . And my other 2 sisters I used to take care of because my mom would go out when we were little and I would watch them. Now I am living in my own place finally and I get calls to go over there because my sister is crying for me , and with all the memories pressure and stress it can ruin my year.

[wandering_child]

I go through literally almost exactly the same things (also been diagnosed with BPD). I will be "just fine" and feeling alright about life, and one thing will happen, big or small and I'm so sick with guilt and worry and worthlessness. If anything lately my "being okay" moments are better than normal and my lows are more extreme too.

I started seeing a counselor recently, and the best advice she's given me is to do something good for myself, take some me time, just once a day, even if it's only a minute or two. I make time in my day to watch an episode of a favorite show on Hulu or do something even mildy entertaining to distract myself. It might not even be something I "like", just something to pass the time. I've also been trying to watch my moods as carefully as is possible, and try and anticipate when I am the most stressed or fragile. Then I will forcibly remove myself from that situation or take a few minutes to distract myself. Normally I'll feel just a little bit better.

Hopefully this can help you. :)

[Sagitarius88]

If u dnt mind what kinda bad memories cuz mum's house and her loving arms can give anyone more comfort n satisfaction u dnt ve To reply this if u dnt want :)