Moving Forward

[hopefloats10]

I'm a 29 year old female who will be 30 in less than 41 days :0/. Even though i consider myself to be relatively young, i must admit that i've been through hell and back with anxiety since the age of 4 but i've managed to keep steady. I've been mentally and physically sick with conditions that are unexplainable by doctors. We do know one thing anxiety and stress is the factor. There are some people out there with low anxiety, mild anxiety and severe anxiety, i believe i've fallen through each category. I used to take medications but it got to the point that i was taking it when i wanted to. I used to see therapists and receive cbt but it got to the point that i thought i knew more than them and that they didnt know what they were talking about. People with anxiety tend to blame everyone else for their "disorder" but themselves. I was one of those people.We tend to blame doctors for not understanding us and for not "fixing" our problems. We approached the doctor, they did not approach us. Doctors are there to give us guidance from the passenger seat, we are the DRIVERS of our lives. People with anxiety tend to isolate and push away those who are trying to help them, i was one of those people. Why do we do that? Is it because we think that people just won't understand us or criticize us? Newsflash: people just dont help you cause you ask them to, they help you because they want to. Look around you and see who has been there for you in your time of need, who has been there when you are having your worse attacks, then ask yourself "why am i isolating them"? Like i said i was one of those people. I used to think that they didnt understand me or the most common, i didnt want to drag them and bring them down. They are not complaining, they are still there for a reason.  In the 26 years that i have had anxiety i've come to term that anxiety is self inflicted. We have the car in drive but we tend to keep looking at the rear view mirror at the same time which is very dangerous.Now i know some of you may not agree with me but ask yourself this question: how and what is in your environment and take it from there. Anxiety just doesnt come into our lives and says "surprise" . Something happened for it to be there. There is a way out of anxiety but you need to take control. Yes, easier said than done, but eventually it has to be done. Running away sometimes seems like ther right answer, the right solution, but guess what, its still going to be there because you havent confronted it. We need to confront the problem and do something about it. We can use meds, friends and doctors as tools but the main tool is YOU. I was very grateful to find this forum and see that i wasnt alone in this weary world of anxiety. I believe that by us reading these forums is a big step and a coping mechanism. We read what others are going through and give out advice, well if we can give advice and help others, then why is it so hard to help ourselves? Its not. We can't let anxiety take over our lives, we can't let it paralyze us. Something can be done, we have the manpower to do it. I do have to agree with what one previous reader said and i noticed some took it personal, but we are not victims. We need to stop asking "why me "and do something about it. We are all trying, but we need to try harder. When you want something really bad, we go for it right? So go for it. We don't ask for these things to happen, but they do happen. In order for there to be an effect there has to be a cause.

[hopefloats10]

Thank you for your response. I do agree with you that we are all in different stages and that we deal with anxiety differently. Learning is the process, its the way to go, but we have to be willing to learn. If one is going to confront a  problem and work on it, they have to stay committed to it. I used to talk to a therapist and be on medication, but what i lack is patience. i applaud those who seek talk therapy, that is SO IMPORTANT! talk therapy with meds is very helpful, but you cant have one without the other, but that is just my opinion. I write poetry as a way to cope with my anxiety. I also write in my journal. Sometimes i look back and read my journal and say to myself " i cant believe i felt this way"  and laught at it. It keeps me strong.

[cj29]

I am glad that you are doing well.  I too always preach confronting your anxiety; knowledge gained about the anxiety/panic cycle is power to overcome it.

I always caution though that everyone here is in a different stage in dealing with this.  It is confusing, scary, and often can 'pop' up...I have seen it with PTSD with Soldiers coming back from the Middle East.  While we are the drivers of our lives, we all were not born with the knowledge to drive...we must learn through gaining the knowledge how to do so, applying that knowledge, and braving it out on the roads with everyone else.  I look at anxiety as a challenge; like all challenges, they must be confronted, but in due time depending on the person and the situation.

I also believe that confronting it one also has to maintain.  In my opinion, anyone can be anxiety free for years and have it come right back into their lives for another go around; which is VERY frustrating, but by talking it over with a therapist once in awhile , it can really help to keep it from 'sneaking' up on you.

I am glad that you are doing so well!  Continue to use this forum and share your experiences and questions with us!