I talk too much

[GliomaGirl]

I talk too much sometimes.  Always at work.  I tell funny stories and am forever trying to get people to laugh.  I try to make them think I am cheerful and airheaded and fun to be around.  I talk and talk anxiously.  I hate this about me.  I don't have any family.  My friends don't really listen to me anymore.  I think my work colleagues are just more polite.  I do all the right things like belong to a church and go to homegroups and do charity etc to be involved with people and meet new people.  I study parttime, I have lot's of hobbies.  I'm in my late 20's.  But my funny reality (not for pity or selfpity) no one cares about me at all.  No one is interested in any part of my life.  And I think that's why I panic talk when at work and someone just gives the faintest hint of being interested in what I have to say.  I know I should just keep quiet - I am irritating to people.  I feel better when I just don't talk at all and cut myself off.  Why is it so hard to just let the last bit of attention anyone pays me, to let that go?  I think people look at me and just decide that I'm not worth anything and because I have this act of being all jokes and kind and funny and cheerful it does not matter what they say to me or how they treat me.  What should I do?

[buffster71]

I can so relate. I’m so hurt over the relationships I’ve lost. I’m ready to crawl back into a shell, and never come out.  People can be so mean to people who are talkers. I feel for you.

[southerngirl124]

hey message me. :) i might be able to help.

[sunset555]

Hi GilomaGirl,

I have just read you post, and all I can say to you is basically, "just be yourself" my love, because you have to happy in your own skin, and do "not" worry or fret about what others think too much, and I am also speaking from experience!!! I'm 38 and like you, was always like that too, but have over the years trained myself to try and grow out of it, and believe you me, it is even harder to grow out of speaking and being the life of the party at all times, than not saying much at all, and really all you will be doing is "just blending in" with everyone else, THATS ALL, just blending in, and that is the most hard part, and whilst it can be very boring for you to do at first, it is an achievement to be had, and then peole will then begin to spend more time listening, communicating and getting involved, rather than having everything hurled at them all at once, and I do not say that to in in any disrespect at all my love, as I have only just mastered it myself over the last few years myself, and like you also, I have very little contact with my own family, and probably you feel the same way as I do and used to do, by making it up by being the life and soul of the party and also over the top too, but never fear, because we can "Still" be the life and soul of the party for the rest of our lifes, as that is never "ever" going to stop, but just "always" remember when to stop is most important!! if you should "ever" need to PM me, please feel free love!!

Sharon XX

[mammo]

I think you're being too hard on yourself!  But I also think you may be trying too hard, saying too much and as a result you leave nothing for someone to ask you about.  You want to have a bit of mystery about yourself, but at the same time be funny and chatty.  It's okay to have "off" days like everyone else, this makes you appear more like others.  This may be a nervous habit and therapy could really benefit you.  Lots of people talk a lot when nervous. It appears that by always being "up" you are seeking other's approval, and think this is how to get it.  You need to just be yourself, if not quite so chatty and up, someone will be curious enough to ask if everything is okay, and say yes. Unfortunately, people want to know that you have good and bad days just like them.  Don't doubt yourself or how interesting you truly are! Just try to relax more and let others do a lot of the talking, people love a good listener!  You sound like a wonderful, fun person who has the ability to put on a happy face even when you aren't.  This is a true asset!  Try to listen more, and talk less and I think you will see some changes.  If unable to do this, look into therapy for some help.  But I think you can do this, just pay close attention when you feel the urge to go on, and on and stop yourself. Don't feel like you always have to be funny, you want people to like you for who you are, not always trying to make them happy.  You're worth everything and never doubt this! Please yourself, and the rest will come.  Take care!