Hi all,
I hope this is the correct section of the forum to post this in as it ties in with anxiety. I need advice for how to deal with my depression and anxiety.
Long story short, my mother passed away over a month ago, suddenly and without warning. Ever since then, I've gone through incredible amounts of anxiety which mainly, and unfortunately, has manifested itself as health anxiety.
I've been on Celexa for a little over 2 weeks and started taking 20 mg a little less than a week ago. I take it in the morning, but feel more relaxation and calm in the evening which I'm hoping will eventually balance me out completely so I feel like less of a mess in the morning.
Anyway, I just started seeing a councilor where we talked about how being in my house makes me depressed - tired, no motivation, randomly start crying etc.
The week before, I was on vacation with my boyfriend in a nice beach house to which I enjoyed immensely. I started out anxious in the beginning, but I slowly became more relaxed and in the very end, I felt entirely like myself. I had no physical symptoms, nothing on my mind (for the most part) and I felt full of energy.
He dropped me off that night and I felt fine. I slept through the night which is something that doesn't happen too often anymore. The next day, I was a wreck. I felt absolutely miserable. The next two days after that, I felt the same way.
When I told my councilor about this, he suggested that I spend more time up there at my boyfriend's house. That, for me, feels easier said than done. I have three younger siblings and a dad who works five days of the week. He did make the point that they don't directly rely on me - my sisters do their own things during the day. I can't drive so I can't take them anywhere (19 and no licence, oh goodness). When my dad comes home, we have dinner and then we go off and do our own things. We're very independent in that sense. But I just couldn't shake the feeling that I'd be abandoning them. My councilor tried telling me to do what gives me the most relief, and being with my boyfriend is what does the trick.
He can't stay with me because he works during the week.
When I told my dad about this, he got upset, paced around and muttered "I don't know" and walked away from me. This just made me feel much worse about the whole thing.
My thought was to spend more time with him until my Celexa fully kicks in and then slowly "ween" myself away so that I feel more comfortable when I come home.
Is that what's best for me? My dad has been supportive of what I need to do in order to feel better, but I feel like I backed him into a corner this time. Any advice is welcome.