everything is unreal, brain is in overdrive, constant panic attacks, want to be normal again, caused by smoking weed

[takeawaymyanxiety]

When I used to hear the word anxiety, I used to laugh. This is so strange to me, I feel like I can never be normal again. I know positive thinking influences recovery in a major way, but it seems like there is no help, like I'm trapped and eventually I'm going to give in. About 4,5 months ago I smoked some of that legal marijuana, and fell into a major panic attack, I truly feel like god spared my life, and brought me back to a full recovery, I had smoked the stuff before, but for some reason I guess that time was too much. This unreal feeling is so real and intense, which makes it scary than anything out there in life. I normally did not experiment with the artificial herbal incense, but I was on probation. A few days ago I smoked some real marijuana, and it happened again, only worse, it still hasn't completely gone away. Its like nothing is real anymore...85 % of the day I feel like this, and the only thing helping me get through it is the 15 % of the day I feel regular again. I crave these short moments everyday and battle a mountain range of anxiety everyday for the past 5 days. I keep praying to god which I am a firm believer in, but I find myself crying, because I feel like god just won't help me, and I don't know why. It says god helps those who help themselves, so that is why I am writing this post and visiting the doctor today, maybe an inpatient hospitilization facility. I am 19 years old and male. My first panic attack was when I was 13..I was sitting in in school suspension, then all the sudden my mind started to wonder and pretty soon I was in a panic attack and everything felt unreal, for a couple minutes, then everything was fine again, followed by a few more minor stains and residual effects of the first one...its like I'm too intellectual to be human. My mind would scrutenize every detail of the observable world, causing me to overload and go into panic, because I never felt this problem before..I was too young to identify the problem as I do today, so I told my mom that I was hearing voices, which wasn't exactly true, but it was the only way I could explain the unwanted thoughts. I am a very intelligent person and its a gift..but sometimes a curse. I want to know if anyone could help me feel normal again..I no longer smoke, or do any of that, but I want to know if there's anyone out there feeling this too. What is wrong with me? Do I have depersonaliztion disorder? Or is it just residual effects of the bad trip? Am I just stuck ina.bad trip and what I'm feeling is actually illusional, someone help me and will I ever be normal again?

[OldNovadude]

Seeking professional help is the first step toward that NORMAL - been a cannabis user for awhile,,, mid 60s now,,, beware what the dr will tell you, do your own research,  cannabis symptoms usually go away overnight or  at least in a couple days max, so, dont toke until u find out why u had this attack, it may be a simple thing, but who knows might be the beginning of something big-like how are you going to live the rest of days in this crazy life?? find the creator or let him find u, peace can b had, u need to find it grasshappa, find what u like to do, find peace in what u do to support yusself, have fun ,,, sometimes all the things u have seen come back to haunt u, so beware what u want to see and do,  mostof all find love, that will be all u need sometimes , proceed in your journey and be safe - be humble and kind-but have fun, amf

[Believer4]

i learned to cope with that ****** feeling after seeing that is not going away,i can control myself 95% of the day,but i can never reveal my true emotions....and when you don't feel it's like you don't live,it's ******,but i'm the most optimistic person in the world,and i know that it will slowly fade away.

Once i heard,that after a traumatic event,the brain splits into two persons,that are slowly finding the path,and getting back together thinking like one,i'm still waiting for that day,and each day i see improvement in my brain and life....

[takeawaymyanxiety]

If this was facebook, I would like that lol

[RubyWitch]

Postive thinking is, without a doubt, an incredible adjunct in the rocovery process. But...........in many cases, it just isn't enough on it's own. Sometimes we need the help of pharmaceuticals for mental/emotional issues and there is no shame in that. We don't hesitate to take an antibiotic if we have an infection, I personally don't believe anyone should hesitate to take a psychotropic medication if it will benefit our recovery. Positive thinking in a comfort zone...........I have no issue with that at all. We must all find our own paths to recovery. I hope that will be yours.
Peace
Greenlydia  

[takeawaymyanxiety]

Thanks, I'm leaving very soon to see a doctor, I agree with what you say, but as I said before..positive thinking is responsible for recovery..and comfort zones are an easy place to think positive

[RubyWitch]

You wrote............" I want to know if anyone could help me feel normal again."

I'm quite sure you will get responses from other people who smoke weed. Many will probably be able to relate to your experiences and emotions.
While it can be comforting to find that you're not the only one in a leaky canoe, it's been my observation on this forum that there is seldom a "captain" aboard.

I would urge you to look into therapy as I think you have more and deeper issues than just a bad weed experience. Also, there is nobody on this forum qualified to answer your questions.
Talk to your doctor for a referral to a therapist who deals with drug issues. They will have a much better understanding of what you're going through.
I wish you the best
Peace
Greenlydia