Really going bonkers

[Thomas29]

I"m dealing with a great amount of anxiety.     Specifically regarding concerns over my health and STDs,  I've been tested and should be calming down.   But I don't trust the results and keep looking for symptoms and thinking every little thing I notice could be "something'

I believe my anxiety/depression issue goes back further.   I never feel "safe"  always think something bad is going to happen or  my mind races and brings up things i've done or things I hate about myself.

I've tried to cover this up with a great deal of compulsive behavior running the gambit from sex, food, and at one time drugs.

What sort of condition does this sound like?    Should I seek mental health help?

I used to entertain notions of harming myself but realized how selfish an act it would be and I don't want to do that and have gotten rid of my means to do so.                

What should I do,  I'm deathly afraid and embarrassed to admit any of this.    I'm so used to covering it up.

[Thomas29]

Thanks  Silverbeg,

I sorta mispoke I trust the results I got for  Gonahrea and Claymedia -- those are conclusive at the point I was tested.

Mainly I'm freaking out for things that would not be conclusive yet like syphillis or I was not tested for  herpes,NSU.

Overall I do agree I need to see someone about my irrational fears, depression and anxiety and the compulsive behavior they feed into.

I have an appointment w/ my PCP scheduled and will do my best to stay positive until then.

[silverberg]

Well this is a forum, where we do not know who you are, So I would say get help NOW!

You seem to have allot of insight into your feelings. but I really believe, when someone on this site say's they do not believe LAB results, I really believe there is nothing I can tell them. If you can't believe your lab results, then I can't waste the time to try in help, that is why I say go get help NOW!

You have insight into your illness, now work on it, would like to help, but from what I read and experience with others, when they say, they can't trust Medical results then anything I say, will go in one hear and out the other,, seek help and I am glad, you do not think of self harm, THATS THE COWARDS WAY OUT!

I am a very honest person in this forum and do not come on here, becuase I have nothing better to do, please seek help, and keep us posted.