whats happening?

[stormy6466]

I've been dealing with anxiety for about 3yrs now. Do these thought s ever go away? My brain feel s so tired I worry about everything to much in my mind I feel like im gonna lose control, the worse is that I keep it to myself nobody know s how I feel. I don't like going anywhere cause I fear to get an attack I feel dizzy all the time.. I cry alot. Im scared to lose my marriage cause I could get so mean but only cause how I feel. Any advice..

[stormy6466]

Thank u..for ur opinion it is hard wen some one doesn't understand u. Special y wen u pretend to be ok but ur not. Even people from church think its all in my head.so i just keep it to myself.but god knows wat i feel.n yes i pray that the meds.work.the only thing is im scared to take them cause I've heard people say it make s u worse n im already at the ended of the rope.. so that's another part of my life im dealing with.. why is life so complicated ..

[RubyWitch]

Your husband, I'm sorry to say, is living in the Middle Ages!
DEMONS? Does he REALLY believe that? Scary.
He says it's the the demons who are oppressing you, when, in fact, the ONLY one oppressing you is him!

There are many things on earth that are real but can't be seen.

It is NOT right, it is NOT fair and it definitely is NOT healthy for you to be virtually forced to hide, keep secret.........essentially lie about a mental issue that is very real, from the one person who should be giving you all his support even if he can't "see" this condition. He should take it on faith that this issue is real just as he takes his belief in God, whom I'm fairly certain he hasn't seen.
I have no doubt living the way you are being asked (forced) to would eventually destroy anyone.

Is there anyone you could talk to who may be able to help your husband understand? Your doctor? Your religious leader? Would you consider marriage counseling?

You obviously have access to the Internet. Give some thought to putting together a very comprehensive research paper on anxiety and see if he still lays it at the feet of demons.

I don't know how old you are, I don't know your cultural, religious or moral values you were raised to believe in, so I really hesitate to give you the advice I'd like to.

I'm glad I was here for you to chat with and know that there are many of us here who understand and would be very happy to talk with you anytime you need a friend to share this burden with.
I hope the BuSpar works for you and I hope, through the Grace of God, your husband reaches a new understanding.
Peace
Greenlydia

[stormy6466]

The only reason I don't tell him its cause he doesn't believe that any mental problem s are real. He thinks there demons oppressing me. He tells me. To read the Bible and they will go away. Cause he says there's no proof of this kind of sicknesses like no blood test or X-ray s.so it gets tough I do want him to understand me but he is stubborn thats why I pretend to be Ok but it's killing me in the inside. But im taking buspar hopefully that will start to work on me. Thank u for ur respond I really needed someone to chat with.. take care..

[RubyWitch]

See your doctor for a COMPLETE physical, including thyroid, to rule out a medical problem. If all those tests come back normal, ask to be referred to a good mental health professional to begin dealing with your anxiety issues.
Trying to keep your anxiety hidden is only making it 10X worse. Keeping it secret from your husband is, in my humble opinion, a really major mistake.  Keeping this all bottled up inside you does, as you're finding out, eventually come out in mean and nasty ways. Until you come clean with your husband, I'd worry about losing my marriage, too. Do you not trust your husband to understand and support you?
Start with seeing your doctor..........take it one step at a time so you're not overwhelmed.
You are not going crazy, what you have is very fixable, virtually all of us on this forum can relate and totally understand what you're going through. You are not alone at all.
As soon as you take the first step towards getting help, I promise that you are going to feel a huge weight lifted off your chest...........and it will just keep getting better.
I wish you the best
Peace
Greenlydia