help

[cary500]

Hi, I'm a 20 year old female and Ive been suffering from anxiety (or that's what I think) for about 3 years now. I was wondering if anyone else ever felt like how I feel. I rarely feel good. The only place I feel safe is at home. When I go out I always feel like something is not right and that I should leave the place where I'm at because something is going to happen to me and its going to be bad. The thoughts I usually have are " What the heck am I doing here? Who are these people? Why am I friends with them? Why do they like me? Why am I living?" then my heart starts to pound really fast and I get chest pains and I feel like I'm gonna purge.( It happened to me before that the thoughts were so strong that I vomited). I also suffer from heritable bowel syndrome which cause me to have diarrhea every time I get stressed (so in the case every time I go out I'm always at the bathroom, sometimes I just go for a pee and diarrhea comes out and I didn't even know I had to go). My symptoms are taking over my life. It seems it always happens when I'm having the most fun. Its like my mind doesn't want me to have fun or something.

An other thing I always think about is someone I love dying, I always think someone is gonna die and then my symptoms will get worse. Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna go totally crazy that I'm gonna go kill myself. (I have become depressed over then years of feeling like sh*t.) I'm always afraid, afraid of life, of everything. I always force myself to go out and have fun but I never feel good when I do. When I meet a guy and things start to go really good and get anxious and stop seeing him because I'm scared something might happen. I feel like I've gone crazy... I don't know what to do, or if there's a cure for this. I would love to know if someone feels similar to what I feel because I feel like I'm the only one with these types of thoughts. It would make me feel a whole lot better if someone can understand what I'm going through.

[cary500]

Thanks for writing to me makes me feel alot better that alot of people feel like me. I thought I was the only one and I felt like I was crazy. I have seen a therapist before like 2 years ago and she only made me feel stupid, she made me talk to a stuffed animal and it didn't help so I stopped seeing her. I also talked to my docter twice, first time he said that I'll be fine and told me to go see that wacko therapist and second time was last year and he subscribed me with Celexa. I took it for about 3 days, I felt drugged and out of my mind. At night I wouldn't sleep and my head was spinning and I was twitching and shaking my head from side to side and I would get up several times a night to go vomit because my stomach was burning! I hated these side affect and with that I had to go to school and work so I had no time to rest and to feel better. So I quit taking those meds after 3 days. After that my anxiety slowed down abit, maybe because in my mind I felt better because I had those meds incase I really don't feel good.

With all that, I'm going to see a new therapist this month, I'm really scared. I hate to talk about all this to someone I don't know and I always think how the hell will this person help me? Anyway we'll see how it goes and if I don't feel better after a while I'll try some meds.

[allie3656]

hi, i'm sorry that you're going through this, but i know what it's like. I've recently been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. i take ativan and talk to a therapist, which helps. i also meditate and do breathing exercises to help with the anxiety, but if it gets too bad i take an ativan. i understand about not going out. i'm afraid too. but if you slowly work your way into the world instead of forcing it, you'll feel much better. but i agree with the others who posted that you should try meds. i tried lexapro and it increased my anxiety, so i stick to what works and thats ativan. but what also helps is reading these forums and knowing that i'm not alone or that you're not alone.

[RubyWitch]

Wish you had told us you were seeing a therapist. How long have you been with this person? Why are you waiting to begin the antidepressants? What has been prescribed for you?
Is there anything else we should know?
GL

[RubyWitch]

First thing girlfriend...........RELAX! Easier said than done, I know. What you have is classic, garden variety anxiety. It's extremely unpleasant but there is much help out there for you. It IS highly treatable, OFTEN curable and you will NOT go insane or die. I promise.
Second thing.............you are NOT alone in ANY of these feelings! Spend some time reading the posts here and you will see yourself reflected in hundreds of mirrors.

Rather than spend time going over each of your issues, I'll just cut to the chase. You need to get in to see your doctor and tell him/her everything you've just told us. Once any organic reason has been ruled out for your anxiety, then it's time to play the hand you've been dealt. This may include an antianxiety med to help you calm down NOW. Talk with your doctor about getting hooked up with a good therapist and figure out the root cause of your anxiety. Know that the meds will only help you cope with the SYMPTOMS of anxiety, they will NOT cure it. Some kind of therapy really needs to be included.
While antianxiety meds are not to be feared, you must be careful. Many people will take them, feel better and decide they don't really need any therapy. That is a very common mistake. It's far better if the meds are an ADJUNCT to therapy.........that combination is the most effective and you'll be off the meds much sooner. You may not even need medication! Therapy alone has worked well for many. But this is something you and your doctor will decide.
You'll be fine. I'm glad you found us, please post as often as you need. You will find much support here on your journey..............
Peace
Greenlydia
  

[aw90]

I'm so glad I found this site so that I can see that i'm not the only one going through tough things. I suffer from a lot of anxiety as well as depression and many other things. Many people around me, including my parents, guidance counselor and therapist know about what i'm going through, but i've been consulting all of them for a long time and nothing seems to be working. Like you, part of my anxiety is caused by social situations. I am very lonely and feel like not many people like me, but when I do get in social situations, which is rare,I get uncomfortable and my mind goes wild. It's not just with physical social situations, it's over the phone, talking to people I don't know etc. After I have a conversation with someone, I spend so much time thinking "what did they think about me, how did they take what I said about this that or the other thing, what if they mistook me for meaning something entirely different than I really did." Normally this type of thinking causes me to have a breakdown. I'm finally going to go on anti depressents soon, which helps anxiety I guess. But i'm not going on them for another few weeks, and I still don't know how to cope with what i'm going through now.  

[Clonechsr]

Cary,

       I promise that you are not the only who feels like this. I feel the same way you do, that something bad is going to happen to me. Although I have not had these feelings as long as you I can totally understand how horrible they are, and how frustrating they can be.
       I was also very skeptical of medication as I read and heard all the horror stories a few years ago about how bad the side effects were. Finally I broke down and went to my Dr. and he prescribed Lexapro for me. I have only been taking them for 2 days, but do feet somewhat better. It maybe the fact that the doctor assured me that anxiety is not a mental issue as once thought, but a chemical issue. One that sometimes (most of the time) needs fixed by medication.
      Talk to you Dr. and welcome aboard!