when to quit and when to barrel through

[torrancegal]

So, i'm in a tough work situation and feel like i'm going to completely fall apart. i know it's not just my own anxiety but i could be blowing things out of proportion. still when you know a work situation is making you sick, is it OK to just say 'i can't handle this' and bow out gracefully? I've reached out to ask if there are any private therapists i can see as a possible way of holding it together... just want to know what others do. I can quit and get other work where i can hide out at home and just work at my own pace... or i can try and keep up a really high profile gig and suffer through it. But i don't know if i can pull it off. lots of backstabbing craziness on a short timeline and its a major thing -- if i quit people in my community know i've quit something else... i have a high profile in my community and it's way too small so everybody knows... I really wish i hadn't taken this on but thought i could. now i just want to curl up in fetal position and hide. i only feel better when i'm staring at the tv ...

[tish2010]

Thanks so much for your words of wisdom. One can so easily get caught up by others' negativity and before long, you're on a downhill spiral.

Sometimes one should really just take more time to focus on the "present" instead of investing so much energy into the 'what ifs". This becomes so powerful that one feeds it.

I sincerely hope that you will find peace in your life and that you start investing more in the wonderful things that you are passionate about.

I will also take my recovery on day at a time and make a conscious CHOICE everyday to invest more in me and focus on how I can contribure towards my own healing.

ALL THE BEST!

[torrancegal]

Thanks for the comments, everyone. right after i posted i found out my doctor had scheduled me for surgery so i had a 'save face' way of getting out of bad situation. i had to fight to get paid my extra hours so it wasn't nice, but they did just send me a final cheque. i do feel better, anxiety wise, but am horribly depressed, which could be a combo of what has happened and the surgery just a week ago. I even took some work on and when the client said "this is brilliant - so glad to have you back" i was cheered up for a few seconds and then right back down in the dumps. it's taken me all day to get work done that used to come so easily for me. am seeing a private counsellor now so am doing the right things but can't deal with being social - I don't know if using the surgery as an excuse to not go out is good or not... i tend to push myself too much after physical illness - it's a weird way of maybe making myself worse on purpose, me thinks. anyway, i'm not good at checking these communities but i really have no one to talk to that understands how i feel. A lady from church called asking me to sing some upcoming solos. I tried to tell her honestly that i just can't get up and front of people right now -- and then i said maybe i'd try. i love to sing and it makes me feel better but the thought of even committing to showing up seems horrifying to me. I can't seem to find right balance - either too much on the plate or too little and depressed either way. something has to give but it won't be me going on drugs. so i'll go talk and give it time. hopefully it will get better. It has to.

[pepperpopper]

I agree that you should bow out, even if it isn't graceful! You shouldn't have a job that causes you such stress, especially if you have other options open to you. You will be so much healthier, inside and out, if you find something that isn't a burden. What a blessing that you have such a choice! Good luck :)

[mammo]

Yeah, it really sounds like a bad situation and not worth it, or how it's impacting your anxiety.  You know what is best for you.  Good luck and do whatever it takes to keep yourself happy, and you anxiety low.  Take care....

[torrancegal]

thanks for those thoughts. I have seen psychiatrists in the past and the closest we've come to diagnosis is cyclothalmic. I'm not completely manic/depressive but i cycle throughout the day. Various drugs have made the problem worse not better so I'm not on anything. Epival seemed to work a bit but caused me to gain huge weight which made me feel worse. Many of my clients (I'm self employed) trust and respect me and I'm fine with them - there are always the off days, but it's manageable. unfortunately this client is a bully and it raises all kinds of issues for me. and i hide out as i don't want people asking me how the work is going (as I said it's high profile - world summit work -- which i thought could be an incredible opportunity but i'm working 60 hour weeks and breaking out into hives and totally overwhelmed. going to try and propose some solutions then slowly move away - another person already quit but she blamed me, saying 'i'm a problem' so that has hung over my head with the man who hired her and obviously despises me. Others see my value, but not my working reports so i think i've got to get out of it. I do have work i'm turning down right now as this takes all my time,,, Perhaps people without anxiety issues could deal with this better - that's the reality for me - i turn itinto too much drama and can't get all the worries out of my head,. thanks again. I'll find a private psychotherapist to help me make my exit gracefully or to help me communicate the need for more resources...if they treat me badly for suggesting, i'll know that's my cue to leave.

[mammo]

I think you need to address your anxiety and/or depression.  To be your happiest while staring at the TV is not healthy.  If you can "bow out gracefully" and KNOW you can get another job, then I would do it.  I normally would not advise this, but you describe a very difficult work environment which is adding a lot of stress to your life.  The last thing you need to do is worry about what others think, you can't live your life trying to keep everyone else happy.  But you mention that "people in your community will know you've quit something else," if you are quitting when things get tough, this needs to be addressed.  To use words like "hiding out at home" tells me that more is going on here. Therapy is a private matter between you and your therapist, if need be, see one not right in your community, but do seek help with this.  You also need to see a psychiatrist for a correct diagnosis, so you can move on.  We're always here to help you with this, so feel free to stay with us.  Good luck and take care...