AIDS

[seekerofanswers13]

I'm 21 years old and have made myself to belief i am an "AIDS child". Each day when i go to sleep i feel a pain which is totatlly wired. I have had the worst flu' f my life back in december and i was going to se my doctor. I have talked to my socalled fiance on the phone throught this chole process. I was wondering why i ate much, but did not gain weight. I was having dry coughs, and had this flu' like for 3 weeks. At this time i was at my family's place, and went back home to my place which is about 100 miles away, where i study to become school teacher. When i returned back to my place my friends where worried about my health, and my mother still kept on calling me. I promised myself i would go to the doctor the very next day i came home. I kept on talking with my fiance on the phone, and told her  i was going to the doctor the very next day. WHEN i told her this, she told me she had something to say. She told me she could not tell me on the phone. I was outside bying groceries and stuff and therefore she told me it was best for me to be at home and wait for her to send me a message with whatever she had to say. I thought to myself what i could be, she might be pregnant she might be something or something, since she could not adress the issue on the phone. When i got home and i told her i was home, she told me through a message that she had HIV. My whole world crashed called her immediately crying as soon i saw the message. I called the emergency medical service up. Told them i can be infected with HIV, they told me go to your own doctor, you dont die throught the night and be with people which can calm you down. I went to my doctor the next day, and rang them up at the morning and told them i needed and HIV test. I forgot all the symptoms why i was about to present to them, which my Fiance knew i was going to present to them, and there she might new that i was about to get the message that i was HIV positive anyways so she told me the day before i was about to go to the doctor ( this was mindset). The doctor told me i was HIV negative i was happy and told her i was lucky. But i still though hmm i must have this disease because i feel so bad and i looked the symptoms of this disease up. I took a test 4 weeks later turned out negative too. I took a test two other places and they turned out negativ too. I was obssed with my CD4 + CD8 count, because i was thinking maybe im an AIDS child, and that she must have contracted this from me and that the virus is known in my body and my body does not make antibodies against this virus. I got to my GP and she told me that if these count turn out to be that of a healthy person I had to go to the psychiatri. What i knew what if these counts where below 400 i had something wrong with me, and if they where under 200 i had a count which is defined as AIDS. I accepted this invitation, in hope that if these counts where low and that i was right it would show in these final test. The test came back, a test which here in Denmark where i live only is giving to HIV positive people because it is so expensive. My CD4 count was 1400, which meant that i was more than healthy and i lossed my mind. i though well how could it be possible. I had my tounge covered with fungus, my hands used to rash, yet know they are fully rashed and rashing another time. My head is heavy and red eyes all the time. My teeth bleed every time i brush them, and i can just feel pain in my whole body specially my left arm. My nails are hardened and all these symptoms seem to evolve. My family is worried. im worried. The GP gave me diagnosis Hypocondirac and going to speak to me about it this upcomming week. Could this be anxiety? is my GP right about this or could there be a case of a rare AIDS. The fact of the matter is my fiance got the one disease after the other after we been together. This keeps running through my head day in and out. When i look at the mirror i tell myself. "Aids child, its okay the pain is over soon."

[seekerofanswers13]

What a delightful reply and advice to wake up to

I'm going to get professional help and therapy might also help me.
Indeed the body and mind is conflicting which each other.

3 month of constantly bodychecking and all day everyday checking all the loopholes and so on and so forth for a disease has made my mind tired.  i been worried and scared for life. I believe it is going to take some time but where there is a will there is a way

May the peace and happy days be with you

M. Ali

[seekerofanswers13]

Thanks RubyWitch
It's amazing to see how much the body reacts to these disorders and fears :(
Makes oone just freak out more and more

[RubyWitch]

I apologize for reading your post incorrectly.

If I am reading it correctly now, you HAVE been tested several times and each time your results have been negative.

Since it appears you are having difficulty accepting these results, please seek out some help and support from a mental health professional. I still believe you are dealing with anxiety.

I wish you the very best
RubyWitch

[seekerofanswers13]

Thanks for lending me an ear and thank you for the wishes.

Sadly, I did not mention my mother as being HIV+, cause if she had been, she would not be here with me today.

My upcoming wife, my socalled ficance was HIV+, and therefore i was pretty sure i had contracted it, or might have been the one who gave her this.
Im anxious about this issue. She told me the matter the day before i was going to my GP and since that time till now i have been getting the one disease and rash and other types of signs after she told me this.

Im just seeking to see if there is anybody og anyone like me out here in this forum. cause as i see im not the only one facing this type of fear, mystical body signs an son on, contrary to being tested about 4 times since January.

I have the hope and the will to sought this matter out and atleast trying to get help from the GP's and MD's, yet i hope just that i can find others like me to confort my situation during this course and just find ease what is related and consult with other " hypocondriac" people or people who constantly have these body signs and stuff.

Gladly wishes and hope your situation isnt as mine
Best wishes
M. Ali

[Help987654321]

Hi ive been suffering the same i slept with a randomer she told me after that she takes loads of meds and then went ooh itchy ankle its been 2years since then and i feel like total crap like my skin feel sensitive i wake up with head aches belly pains ive have pains in my shoulders and worst pain is in my left hip ive had numberouse tests and there all negative ive had 8 within 2 years the last 1 i did was a couple weeks ago and awaiting resaults but i go there that much now that the doctor goes mad at me and reasures that i have anxiety? I wish i could swap bodys to let people feel what im feeling right now because its not nice like it happens without evan thinking about it ive been doctors numerouse times for my rashes and spots and also have a cyst on the shaft of my penis giving me testical pain they tell me this is apparently normal? Im an engineer and i lie to customers to to get to my next job, im sure this is what they do or there just clueless. I also have the coating on my tongue and bleeding gums, but i had blood test in march which was fine i just had some resaults for this month which says i have dropped from 87.6 vitamin D count to 34.3? Vitamin D is a supplerment for the immune system and helps prevent infections, but isnt that what Aids does? Destroys the immune system? Its making me crazy, i have not had touched a girls in like 7months because i smoke and when i smoke with people they feel ill and complain about simular pains i suffer with which realy bugs me aswel im im just waiting on my latest test which will come this week i feel your pain brooo its destroying me i feel like im dying inside but know one can see it

[RubyWitch]

You have been tested for HIV and the results were negative.

I'm sorry that your mother is, apparently, HIV+ but if she had been HIV+ while pregnant with you, you WOULD be infected, but you're NOT.

I think you are dealing with severe anxiety and ONE of it's many manifestations IS hypochondria. I'm glad you will be seeing your doctor again soon as you need to have a very real conversation about these issue.

Please ask your doctor for a referral to a psychologist to help you deal with your anxiety and the terrible stress you are living with. That can have devastating effects on your health.

I would also suggest that you post your concerns on our HIV Prevention Forum. I believe you will receive a great deal of reassurance there.

It is very good that you found our forums and that you are seeking help and answers........but you must continue to be very proactive getting yourself back to a place of peace and health.

I hope you will let us know how you're doing.
I wish you the best
RubyWitch