Anxiety and Cipralex

[youngbuck]

Hi All, I have not posted in this forum before and am looking fro some help. I had a an occupational exposure to blood at work and have tested for HIV at 3 months and all were negative. On my last test I keep replaying the whole situation in my head over and over again and keep thinking or some reason that the nurse wanted to infect me. My doctor said this is irational thinking and I agree but can keep the though out of my head. He put me on Cipralex and It has been three weeks. These thoughts still linger and are runing my life as I keep thinking I have to start over and retest again in 3 months. It is causing grief with my marriage and my wife thinks I am crazy to think this way but I cant get it to stop. Does anyone have any tips on dealing with this? I even went back to the clinic and spoke to the nurse and it helped for a few days and then the thoughts keep on coming back and the what ifs wont leave. Thansk for any advice.

[youngbuck]

Thanks for the response, my whole fear stems from her leaving the room for five minutes after talking to me when all the needles were in the room. I did not watch her put the needle in my arm or see her open it as she made me lie down for the blood draw and really regret it. She was upset with me as I questioned her about the testing timelines and she didnt want to do the test as she said I shoul dhave waited 6 months (Angry at me) but she would do it anyways and left as mentioned above. I know they are irational and I think the whole fear has been since the first exposure and teh anxiety it casued me ( I cant go through this again).  I am booked into a psych but not for two more weeks and I hope I can let this go. Thanks again for the response.

[RubyWitch]

Well my friend, I have to agree with your doctor on this one.
You said you had an "occupational exposure" to blood at work. Was the blood known to be HIV positive? Did this blood enter a cut on (or in) your body?
You had the test, which was negative, yes?
But then, what I'll assume is "out of the blue," you've decided that this nurse for "some" reason, wanted to infect you. Can you elaborate on that a bit for us? Why in the world would you think she WANTED to infect you? Do you know this person? Does she have some sort of reputation that could possibly warrant these fears of yours? Does she have access to infected blood? Did you not see her take a brand new needle out of it's package before she drew your blood?
And IF she had intended to infect you, did you think going to see her again would cause her to instantly "confess" her evil intentions?
I do have one tip for helping you deal with this. Get yourself in front of a good therapist as soon as possible! What you are thinking and fearing IS irrational and paranoid. There HAS to be a reason for that and you need to find out what that is as soon as possible. Not only for yourself, but for your wife and quite possibly for the reputation of this nurse!
Peace
Greenlydia