also, girls who have affairs or have many boyfriends are not necessarily characterless. its just that people have different values and viewpoints. what seems wrong to you is going to be right for someone else. these are all cultural differences.. ..so dont get all flustered about this, and wonder if what you are thinking is right or wrong. just go with what makes you feel comfortable finally...and i'm sure you'll be able to make new friends.
hi maharaja,
sounds like you have recently moved to another country and are probably finding it difficult adjusting to a new culture. thsi is very normal, and will take you a while to settle down. it might help to speak to a counsellor, or anyone ese that you might be comfortable with. helps to understand that every culture, society is different, and it takes each one a while to get used to it. what do u do btw? if you are a student, there are probably counselors at your university who deal with such issues. might be worth speaking to one.
I understand exactly what he is saying. Women in the US are rather fast, if you know what I mean. I guess they just don't like being alone or something.
And yes, I (as a woman) think that many girls today have slept around with all they boyfriends. That's the environment we live in. People don't have a lot of respect for your bodies, and don't have a lot of integrity. You'd be hard-pressed to find a girl who's never had a "boyfriend" or slept around. But if you do find one, hold onto her as long as you can.
"On the other hand, if you are from Wisconsin, my advice would have been to get into the current century or join a bloody monastery."
I actually find that quote a bit offensive, personally. I'm not joining a "bloody monistary" but I refuse to "get into the current century" and accept other people's bad behavior as "normal". I, for one, refuse to associate with people who's behavior or actions are not what I deem appropriate. Yes, I don't have many friends, but that's ok. I've chosen to live my life with integrity and a decent set of morals.There's a difference between dating a few different people and dating someone long-term and then hopping to someone else as soon as the previous relationship is over.
I mean no offense by this, but your name COULD imply that you are perhaps from a different culture. If that IS the case, and you are now living in the US, (which none of us know because aside from you stating that you're a 19 y/o male, you added nothing to your profile, so we know nothing about you) I can somewhat understand your angst. I don't mean to sound harsh and certainly not judgemental, but if you ARE from a different culture and you ARE living here now, then you must, to an extent, assimilate into our culture. If you choose to find our ways repulsive to you, which is your right, then I suggest you stay within a community of like minded people.You're welcome to your opinions and your welcome to accept or reject how our society works, but young people your age, both men AND women, often date many different people. That you state you find ONLY THE WOMEN to be "characterless" when they do this I find quite offensive! That you say you "don't like these types of girls and try to stay away" is fine. (Please define "TRY" for me!) You say because of this, you lack (experience) talking to girls because almost every girl had some relationship in the past. You are, I gather, assuming that all these girls are sleeping with each and every boy they go out with. That is a very bad assumption to make and I would think that many of the young women in your world would find that assumption not only wrong but incredibly offensive. If it is your desire, your wish, your need or creed to talk only to those women who are virgins, then please refer back to my statement that perhaps you should associate only with those who are of the same mind set as you.
Sounds to me like your social life is NOT almost over, it's more like it hasn't even begun.
You say you need help and want to know if your "thinking is right or wrong."
If you ARE from a different culture, then your thinking is not wrong, it is undoubtably how you were raised. If you are still living in the country of your origin, then you need to speak with an adult within that culture to help you find the answers you seek. If you are of a different culture and live in America now.......your thinking is still not wrong, it just doesn't work here, and because this IS America, you are welcome to think any way you want. BUT..........IF you are referring to American women as "characterless" because they date more than one person.....I would VERY STRONGLY urge you to speak with someone from your culture who perhaps has had more experience living with and adapting to OUR ways.
On the other hand, if you are from Wisconsin, my advice would have been to get into the current century or join a bloody monastery.